» I threw this post on the ground posted on 03/12/10 by Opie
SNL: I Threw it On The Ground! (May be the best Digital Short)
Dunk FAIL.
Guy makes funny faces at the Oscars.
Epic Beard Man Punch-Out
News guy gets ANGRY!
Awesome crane collapse.
Funny cat drinking water.
Goddamn.
Alice in Wonderland porn?
Joke
A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods when they trip over a magic lamp. The genie pops out of the lamp and stops them both. He says, "I don't know who called me out so I'll give you each three wishes."
The bear and rabbit both start thinking about their wishes and the bear looks at the genie and says. "Start with my wish! I want all the bears in this forest, except me, to be Females."
The genie nods and says, "I can do that." and poof all the other bears in the forest are Females.
The rabbit says, "Me next! I want a motor scooter my size."
The genie says," Alright two more." and magics out a little white scooter.
The bear says, "If you can make all the bears in this forest female, can't you the the whole country, except for me?"
The genie says, "Yeah, I can do that." and with a nod every other bear in the country turns into a female.
The rabbit looks up and says, "I'd like a little rabbit helmet please."
"Sure!" the genie exclaims and opens his hand. with a little helmet in the middle.
The bear, getting excited says, "ALL the bears in the world except for me! can you make them ALL Female?"
"Alright, but that's your last wish." and every bear including polar bears and pandas magically turn into females.
The rabbit gets into his scooter, puts on his helmet and starts the engine. He looks at the genie and says, "I wish this bear was gay."
This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney.About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything.
About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off.The lady could not believe it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it."
Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?"Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained.
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