» Boo.. grr... ahh.. etc..
posted on 10/31/05 by Opie
You guys think this ghost is real?
Scared the shit out of him.
Hi, I'm drunk.
His voice that funny?
I liked the ass clip.
Why I fired my secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hope my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possible have a present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”
I thought… well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids came into breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane said, “Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday!” It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o’clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your birthday, let’s go out to lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve hear all day. Let’s go!” We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”
I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.” After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes; she came out carrying a huge birthday cake… followed by my wife, kids and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all signing “Happy Birthday.”
And I just sat there… On the couch… Naked.
Those dryer things have urine crystals in them too.
I like that mirror effect one.
- FFL -
- Hot Moms.
- Balance game.
- Dumb robbers.
- Free iPod Video.
- Girl masturbating.
- Basketball fights.
- Love fever is lies.
- Halloween dildos.
- Heidi Klum in lingerie.
- Home brewed honeys.
- Pretty neat ice game.
- What a fun butt plug.
- Halloween hottie horror.
- Now that's a sandwich.
- Two bitches four holes.
- This isn't his ex-girlfriend
- Holy shit, that had to hurt.
- Girl in the shower?.. Yeah.
- Check out the clip in the middle.
- Kim Smith – Super hot Maxim girl.
- Wow, he's a real professional hero?
- Women don't look for these things.
- A space elevator would be pretty cool.
- If you would do her, raise your hand.
- Pastor electrocuted while performing baptism.
- A dress that has "fuck me" written all over it.
- OH NO! The flying car in Harry Potter was stolen!
- Carmen Electra shows off some of her dance moves.
» Busy week.
posted on 10/28/05 by Opie
I bet that felt nice.
You have to be the dumbest person alive to be hit by a train.
Cool hockey fight.
THEY ARE CUSSING!?.
A Chinese man walks into a bar. The black bartender asks him if he wants anything to drink.
"Gimme a Jigger, Nigger!"
Shaken a bit, the black bartender says "That is extremely racist and I won't serve you anything if you keep it up!"
Upon hearing this, the Chinese man apologizes. The bartender allows him the drink on the condition that he never say anything racist again. The Chinese man agrees. A few moments later, the Chinese man says "Gimme a Jig, Nig!"
Pissed, the black man says "That's it! No more for you. How would you like it if the roles were reversed?"
"I wouldn't mind," says the Chinese man.
"Fine! You get behind the bar and I'll order the drink!" says the bartender and they switch places.
The black man sits and says "Gimme a drink, Chink!"
The Chinaman shakes his head no.
"Why not?" asks the black man.
"We don't serve Niggers."
You know this tops the others.
What is this.
The kid that smells?
Don't even look.
- FFL -
(Sorry it's short)
- Hot Girl!
- No Lube.
- Big head.
- Hot babe.
- Boobs Out.
- Mandy's Hot.
- Penelope Tuesday.
- Cool shirts for you.
- 2 on 1 fight.. pussies.
- Naked girls..Wrestling.
- Oh shit, you know that hurt.
- Haha.. Wait for it at the end.
- This kind of porn is ridiculous.
- God forbid an "ALL ASIAN" sign..
- Anyone remember these videos?
- They all do something in common.
- Some bid and send me the pictures.
- Sexual meaning of Halloween costumes.
- Corpse mistaken for Halloween decoration.
- Little NAZI 13 year old twins. (Someone shoot them)
- The bustmaster makes your boobs grow. GETOUTATOWN.
» Goddamn INTERNET
posted on 10/26/05 by Opie
Roadrunner keeps going on and off, but I got W.O.W uploaded for ya. Big post Friday.
W.O.W = One of the best and it's two parts.
A Chinaman and a black woman were stuck next to each other on a plane, when suddenly the plane started to dive and the pilots yelled, "We're gonna crash!". Immediately the Chinaman sprung into action, and spread the black woman's legs, pull downed her panties and forced himself into her vagina.
Amazingly the pilots were able to bring the plane to an emergency landing, at which the black woman ran outside spread her legs and shook violently until the Chinaman fell out. "Just what the fuck did you think you were doing!?" she screamed. "Ling Ling know the best place to be in plane crash", the Chinaman replied, "black box."
» Late and short.. Kill yourself.
posted on 10/24/05 by Opie
Cat vs Killer Mice.. Cat doesn't win. (I typed "when" first instead of win, I'm dumb)
Gay guy on Scare Tactics.
He smokes her pussy.
OK, we need more of these. Send them to firstname.lastname@example.org
I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."
I hate dreaming. Because when you sleep, you wanna sleep. Dreaming is work, you know - there I am in a comfortable bed, the next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex-landlord. I want a dream of me watching myself sleep.
So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, if the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.
The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate. That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever chocolate-saving technique.
If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!"
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.
I wrote my friend a letter with a highlighting pen, but he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.
I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
- FFL -
- Adriana Lima.
- Foreign Babe.
- Boodle Opener.
- Past W.O.W clip.
- Naked Maxim Girls.
- Siberian Ice Giant.
- People falling down.
- Good looking boxer.
- Is that Rosie Odonnell?
- Motorcycle jump game.
- Microwave grape plasma.
- Crazy ASIAN kills himself.
- Girls peeing. OHMYGOSH.
- Nice "boombox" behind them.
- Play some Halloween games.
- Maury Povich on Southpark.
- A bunch of Family Guy clips.
- Hi, I'm fat and naked. Thanks.
- Hmmm.. What's this site about?
- Mom calls while getting slammed.
- Classic line from Road Trip on a shirt.
- Neat bike bikes.. With Tupac playing...
- Oh, he should get the death sentence.
- Perhaps a spot of tea will help that arm.
- This lamb's mother ate a poisonous plant.
- If this isn't gay then I'm not sure what is.
- Uh, how fake can you get? Chop a tittie off or something.
posted on 10/21/05 by Opie
Preacher says something naughty.. (Hilarious)
Stranger game. (Also Hilarious)
This bitch is crazy. (This is Hilarious too)
Older Bush clip.. but HILARIOUS.
I wish I could do that.. so many chicks. (NOT HILARIOUS)
This is hilarious if you're not in a wheelchair.
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golfcourse when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I joinyou? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait ! a minute , that's my neighbor in there with her...... He's naked, too!!! The bitch!"
He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth." "Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.
"Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."
Bad Ass Truck, (Because I own it)
- FFL -
- Hot Christina.
- How to be emo.
- Very hot blonde.
- Survivor Toyland.
- Tourettes Cowboy!
- Girls love to tease.
- I'd do Raquel Gibson.
- Bruce Lee interview.
- Jesus on Family Guy.
- And ASIAN drivers too.
- 8 year old dope head.
- Don't smash your hand.
- Only shown for ignorance.
- OK, now that is just gross.
- Satan's little cotton fingers!
- Military Baseball - Nuke away!
- I wonder what's going to happen.
- Hey, how about fire on your cat?
- I would have killed that fucking dog.
- Some people are just plain retarded.
- Pussy pumped, then.. You know what.
- Push play on all of them at the same time.
- I think this guy may want to do Larry Bird.
- Golden girl (Not from the show, fool) having sex?
- The fact that he thought it was a severed penis...
- This animation is just awesome. (Big AVI download)
- Fucking Senator won some of that Powerball money.
- Young girl videotaped during exorcism. (I call bullshit)
» HAY GUYS
posted on 10/19/05 by Opie
W.O.W = Another big booty
Maybe the funniest thing you'll see all day.
Yeah, learn English.
Scaring people is wrong.
Hi, I'm dumb.
This dude can hit.
My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we are in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No." She answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
"Yes." She replied.
Then I said, "I'd like to phone a friend."
That's the last thing I remember
Just a few..
I want St. Louis to win. (Sorry for ignorant text on pic.)
Damn Ni.. Uh?
What's a rapest?
- FFL -
- Finger her.
- Heidi Klum.
- Love hurts.
- Great shirts.
- Pornstar Oops.
- Hangman trivia.
- 3D driver game.
- ASIAN car pool.
- Porn rules, right?
- Stewie gets drunk.
- When cops arrest cops.
- How to ruin Halloween.
- Invisible skateboards.
- Sex and a money shot?
- Any of guys like nipples.
- Meg Ryan has an orgasm.
- Kylie Minogue commercial.
- She's pretty good with a knife..
- Call me crazy, but I don't get this.
- Everyone likes that Kate chick right?
- Police officer shot in Georgia. (Video)
- MK vs. SF. (I think I've posted before)
- Oh we knew about Rocky 6 months ago.
- ITS GON' RAIN. - Funniest Family guy clip.
- Info on which celebrities have been in sex tapes.
- Nevermind the funny squirting, look at those titties.
- A whole bunch of beautiful big breasted women (Nudity).
» Racecar backwards is racecar
posted on 10/16/05 by Opie
I don't think she needs a canoe or boat.
Man, my mind sure is dirty.
None of my fucking business.
This guy is a smart one.
How To Shower Like a Woman:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
All Entensity girl viewers should be like her.
How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-hoo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-hoo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I was thinking.. What if snakes "grrrred" at you?
What about writing under the left breast?
Wonder what went wrong.. WE MAY NEVER KNOW GUYS!
- FFL -
- Liv Tyler.
- Giving Head.
- Bear vs Dogs.
- I like her shirt.
- Free gas cards!
- Naked college girls.
- A bike full of chrome.
- Natalie Portman Vagina.
- My that is a large clit.
- I hate this damn song.
- 101 uses for a dead cat.
- Ohhhh this is my jam kid.
- Choreographed sex stuff?
- Honey, I Killed the Geezer.
- Two clips for pants removal.
- Match the cards. (With girls)
- This site must hate Mexicans.
- I want to make my own beer.
- Why even make such a game?
- Duck Hunt + Doom = Awesome.
- You guys remember this show?
- Restaurant strippers are neat.
- Look at all these girls fighting.
- Cameraman hit by RACING car.
- Phantom jet crashes, pilot bails.
- Drinking coke through his nose.
- Hmmm, ask the girl you're with.
- Whole team beats up a kid.. haha
- What the hell kind of fashion is this?
- We have some Internet cutters.. Over..
- Top 10 most ridiculous products of the future.
- I think his head bounced off the concrete.. Yep.
- Why cut your wrist? Just stab yourself in the throat.
- I don't care if you can or can not. You're gay if you do.
- Barbie clothes for women, so that means.. NO PANTIES!!
- These DVDs are just CRAZY!!! 100% E-approved. (Nudity & Violence)