01/28/17: ARCHIVES ARE ALL UP-TO-DATE!
Content:
Hammer time posted on 01/28/05 by Opie

I can't stress this enough girls. If you have a boyfriend and send him naked pictures and videos of you, then dump him for some bullshit reason. Then guess what? You'll most likely become famous on THE INTERNET. I like to help.

Exhibit A:



Enjoy! This is hilarious.

Plug: NO CREDIT CARD REQUIRED! Just sign up, do the EBAY offer, you need a non-yahoo/hotmail e-mail address (try walla.com or fastmail.fm) to sign up without a credit card. Then place 1 bid on anything (doesn't have to win). That's all, then just refer people yourself to get free shit.

MO' VIDEOS!



This kid gets hit by a car.



Talk about bad luck. Shit.



He has a twat and called it his "pussy". Haha



Teach her well young grasshopper.



Big art drawing. The music rules. (Not really)

JOKE!

Two guys crash land on an island infested with cannibals.

They get captured and dragged back to village, where the cannibal chief then comes out and says, "You outsiders have trespassed onto my island! For this you must face: Death, or MAMBO!"

The two guys are like, what is mambo?

The chief replies, Mambo is every man in the village comes and fucks you in the ass.

So He turns to the first guy, What do you choose...

Well the guy thinks about it and say, Well, I wanna live, so give me mambo.

So the three day long ritual begins, and they fuck him in the ass! By now the second guy is like holy shit!

the ritual ends and the chief releases the first guy.

Now he turns to the second guy, what do you choose... death.. or MAMBO!?

Second guys says, "Fuck that! I'd rather die!"

IT HAS BEEN SPOKEN, Death by MAMBO!!

IMAGES!



Reaction.



This picture surprised me.



Sleeping on the job.



Good talk.

ANOTHER JOKE!

Three men are on a road trip when they pull over to stay at a hotel that they see.

They go in and see the lady who apparently runs the joint and they ask her for a vacant room.

She replied, "Sure, but only if you DON'T go into the basement!"

The men agree and she gives them a room.

That night, the men are so curious that they sneak into the basement, only to find that it's full of chopped off dicks!

The woman that runs the place sees them and says, "OK, now I'm going to have to add you all to my collection."

She asks the first man, "What does your father do for a living?"

He says, "Well, my dad is in the lawn mowing business."

So the woman finds a lawn mower and off goes his dick.

The woman asks the second man, "What does your father do for a living?"

He replies in tears, "My dad is in the tool supply industry."

So she finds a saw and off does his dick.

The woman then turns to the third guy only to see that he is laughing hysterically. "Why the hell are you laughing? Don't you know what's going to happen to you?"

He smiles and says, "Yeah, my dad is in the lollipop business, you're gonna hafta suck mine off!"

DAMN NIGGA!





AMEN!

- FFL -

- Hard game.
- Dave's Daily.
- Soundboards.
- Hello? FUCK!
- Pure Dee is hot.
- Ninja turtle porn.
- Free cam girls. Yay.
- Nice pants and ass.
- Funny Jesus pictures.
- Who wants to marry me?
- Very cool animation movie.
- Find old friends from school.
- Top 10 worst album covers.
- This is the type of girl I avoid.
- Pregnant men would be scary.
- They arrest retards in Florida.
- This nigga needs some RHINOS!
- I bet he had white paramedics.
- Drunk girls hooking up at a party.
- That's a pretty cool snow cannon.
- This is a bad ass rubberband gun.
- How pornstars remember their lines.
- Experiments with Spiders and Drugs.
- Calvin and Hobbes Snowman tribute.
- Cock tease Christina Model nipple slip.
- Bikini chicks go wild, make out on beach.
- Paris Hilton steals her porno from a fag.
- Deformed weiners. One looks like a duck!
- Stacking blocks game. Good if you're bored.
- I'm still waiting for cockfighting to be on ESPN.
- Michelin has a new airless tire. Very cool, but ugly.
- There needs to be more bitches like this INTERNET one.
- Anyone that thinks fart noises are funny will love this.
- Budweiser commercial you wont see during the Superbowl.
- This link contains boobs and white trash. -2 points for me.
- Learn to fuck with British people, you know they deserve it.
- Haha this fucking nigga breaks into 5 cars. My side is hurting.
- Anyone catch Leroy Wells on American Idol? He's great haha.
- Kid gives his family mice poison because he was mad at them.



Denver the Dinosaur rules. posted on 01/26/05 by Opie



This weeks W.O.W is kind of a joke. I've got a great one for week.

Uma Thurman on the beach.





Still hot.



Dennis Rodman is a funny dude.



Fact: GTA San Andreas fans will try and do this now.


STUPID JOKE!

Deep in the backwoods, the hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a
lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor, "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's
another one coming!"

Sure enough, within minutes he delivered a baby girl. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern... It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor.

The hillbilly scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor,
"Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"

Damn Nigga!



As always.

Asians



ASIANS are crazy. I like them.



I will call this hermaphrodite, "Shim".



4th one over has a great ass AND.. WHO DOESN'T BELONG?



He misplaced his face. Smile.



MSN = The smart.

- FFL -

- Got Milk?
- Soundboards.
- Ferrari Gets Raped.
- Guess the bra size!
- Heavy Radio is here!
- Tampon Bowling. Yep.
- And this only holds 40?
- Alcohol Knowledge Test.
- "FUCK BUSH" haha listen.
- I wanta just lick that ass.
- Speed Pigeons. WELCOME.
- Hi, My name is Gay Horney.
- Who wants to live in Hong Kong?
- Bouncing boobies in your face.
- Cell phone for your pet. I quit.
- This stupid cat cleans your screen.
- Need some prosthetic work done?
- Here's some video for Garry's Mod.
- HAY GUYZ CHECK OUT LASHONDA!
- Find you some girls you jack off to.
- Young chicks get nasty on webcam.
- Can I see some tittie with those nipples?
- Oh dear god! It's the INTERNET RING.
- Here's that eBay $37,375 forehead guy.
- Boy do I love hot girls that pick their nose.
- Voluntary Human Extinction? You guys go first.
- Goddamn. Since when do ASIANS have titties? (rare)
- Error message maker. You need to be bored for this.
- Classic video of a guy jumping a remote control car.
- Hey guess what? Yet another surprising fucked up fetish.
- Up against the wall and spread em' babe! - I'm the pussy inspector!



I'M STILL A LAVA LAMP REPAIRMAN! posted on 01/25/05 by Opie



I wouldn't watch this if you're big on religion. (WAY NSFW)

Hint: Jesus + porn x awesome video editing = hell.

JOKE

A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy (Homer) washes up on the shore. Homer and the wife are very attracted to each other right away, but realize certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, however, is very glad to see Homer there.

"Now we will be able to have three people doing 8-hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts."

Homer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower and stands watch, observing the ocean horizon for any ships. Soon the husband and wife start placing stones in a circle in order to make a fire to cook supper. Homer yells down: "Hey, no fucking!"

They couple looks at each other and yells back: "We're not fucking!"

A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again Homer yells down: "Heeey, no fucking!"

Again they yell back, "We're not fucking!"

Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof to their shack to patch leaks. Once again Homer yells down from high above: "Hey, I said no fucking!!"

"We said we're not fucking!!"

Finally the shift is over and Homer climbs down from the tower and the husband starts to climb up. He's only half-way up when the wife and Homer are screwing their brains out.

Once at the top, the husband looks out from the tower and says: "Son-of-a-gun. From up here it DOES look like they're fucking."

FEW IMAGES!!!!111 (Yes, I like to press the "1" key)



What the fuck is that ni..



SHOPPED! Der, ya think?



Find the hidden prize in this picture.



Not a post without one of these..

- FFL -

- Dave's Daily.
- Funny audio.
- What the shit?
- PlayBoy Video.
- Goddamn Zebras.
- Vacation is the shit.
- She is a cool mom.
- Madonna giving head.
- Simpsons cast interview.
- Haha.. No way. Stupid kids.
- Making movies is dangerous.
- A lot of plane crash images.
- Check out this mutha fucka.
- All kinds of goodies at heavy.
- Green Mile was a great movie.
- Wanta transform your face?
- Need to convert some money?
- Romeo and Juliet all over again.
- I wonder if he meant to do that.
- Christians think everything is gay.
- Drunk girls hooking up at a party.
- Who wants to work out with her?
- LETS LEARN HOW TO RIDE A BIKE!
- Wooden mirror. How cool is that?
- Does the dirty whore come with it?
- Here's a link to the Harley on Leno.
- Oh look, an elephant can use a toilet.
- Can this weatherman suck anymore?
- They should've picked a better name eh?
- OK, eating a bloody tampon is not healthy.
- I bet you wont watch all of this. (Very Nasty)
- I have got to stop posting all this painful stuff.
- World record in bench press. (Note: Sound is loud)
- Hey it's free porn passes. Some are most likely dead.
- Hoooly shit! You can be immortal for $25!!! right on..
- How much you wanta bet a ugly/fat chick runs this site?
- Here's every Nintendo game. Oh you can play them too.
- Tsunami Song is actually dumb. The MP3 is in all that blah crap.
- I kept text messaging my myself and it was from "NIGGER". I'm a loser.



Glad it's the weekend.. posted on 01/21/05 by Opie

FYI: Wondering what happened to the strip video? Well, turns out that she may have been 17 (which is legal in my state) when the video was shot. I also got reports that it was shot in her dorm. I just took it down because there's really no proof on either side and I don't have time to deal with it.



He's very brave.



Don't piss your boss off.



I love it when funny stuff happens in porn. Like the acting.

Q and A

Q: How do you kill a retard?
A: Give him a knife and say "Who's special?"

Q. Why is the Afghan air force so easy to train?
A. You only have to teach them how to take off.

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.

Q: How do you break up the "Million Man March"?
A: Fly overhead with helicopters and drop job applications.

Q: What do you call Vietnamese guy that wants to be black?
A: Vinegar.

Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine?
A: They both don't work and always take your money.

Q: Why are there only two pallbearers at a black guys funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.

Q: What kind of bees make milk?
A: A: BOO-BEES

Q: What do you call a black lady who complains?
A: A Nagger.

Q: Why did Ron Artest leave the game early?
A: So he could beat the crowd.

Q: What's the difference between bigfoot and a hard working black man?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: Did you hear about the black who died yesterday on Rt. 80?
A: He stuck his head out of the window at 100 mph and his lips beat him to death.

Q: How do you kill 50 flys?
A: Hit a Somalian in the face with a shovel.

Q: How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles?
A: Trust me.

Q: How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, it's a woman's job.

Q: Who are the two most famous black women in history?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mutha Fucker.

Q: Who is the best Jewish cook?
A: Hitler.

Q: Why don't people in Thailand take baths?
A: Because they wash-up on shore.

Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
A: The back of my hand.

Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Q: How man Sorority members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture.

Q: Whats the difference between 9/11 and the Tsunami?
A: About 97,000 more people I don't know or care about.

Q: What's white and goes up?
A: A snowflake with downs.

IMAGES!!!11



I laugh at the dumbest shit.



This would have been funnier Monday.



These always get a laugh.



Why hello there Satan. (Baby)



What the hell is wrong with her neck?



No panties for her.



She needs a parrot.



Great parking.

- FFL -

- Funny audio?
- American Jedi.
- Who is this guy?
- Sexy ASS teaser.
- Free Cd's from Heavy!
- Multiplayer Java game.
- Man held up a sex shop..
- Mark-48 torpedo. BOOM.
- Real men don't feel pain.
- Damn. That fish is crazy.
- Take it off or get bucked.
- Check out the baby gorilla.
- Use a real gun. I dare you.
- Paris hilton Smoking a Joint.
- Obie Trice must be poor now.
- She looks so nice dressed up.
- Want some neat stuff in a jar.
- Who thinks Miss Big Mac is hot?
- A lot of good health calculators.
- Yeah! Quit smoking and try LSD.
- I'll run an ad for the fucking bible.
- This is a um.. Different porn site.
- Paintball game. A good one at that.
- Shoot some hoops. INTERNET STYLE!
- Must have been a team of white boys.
- Where are the dead bodies at in this game?
- Drunk girls are great. Especially naked ones.
- Just like her daddy. FYI: She is one ugly dude.
- Anyone ever play "Stump"? It's a drinking game.
- Porn Convention Video. Do I really need to explain?
- Looks like a giant penis to me, but so does most stuff.
- Look strange and unusual gadgets and crap... Neat-o
- Get the popcorn and corndogs out and watch some porn.
- Place the states on this map. I'm amazed how much I suck.
- Crazy frog. The sound is from that "Are you insane" flash video.
- Triplets on American Idol. Simon said they were fat. I'd do them all.
- Some of you may remember this credit card prank page. Worth a re-post.
- OK HERE'S THE BONSAI KITTEN LINK. STOP SUBMITTING IT NOW. (Been posted before)



KIDS INCORPORATED posted on 01/19/05 by Opie



W.O.W.. Nobody was waiting on this right?



Well um. She almost did it.



His knee has a hole in it.

Plug: Sign up, complete a free trial offer (Blockbuster, eFax, RealRhapsody, or StarClub Rewards are easy), refer only 5 friends to do the same and you get a free 20GB iPod or $275 Check/PayPal.

IMAGES



Big blue screen of death..



Who exactly will you be showing this to? Your friends? OK fag.



Weird huh?



Gonna be loud when he wakes up.



SO-MANY-BLACK-JOKES-HEAD-EXPLODING.

JOKE

Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said that since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift.

Two days before Christmas Johnny's dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right fuckin here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning. Then when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin' train going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed fuckin' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"

Christmas morning Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back in side with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?"

Johnny replied, "I think I got a goddamned dog but I can't find the son of a bitch."

Trees are neat.







I like the last one best.

- FFL -

- Big ass tittas.
- My new favorite site.
- Mobile homes are the best.
- Stop Ashlee Simpson. Wow.
- Wardrobe Malfunction 2005!
- Hot chick kills the furniture.
- It's an Ass-Kicking machine.
- Next month is anal sex month!
- I might have a nightmare now.
- A few girls showing their titties.
- Here's the Fantastic Four trailer.
- HEY... White people are stupid.
- Corny commercial, but she's hot.
- This is when Christina was white.
- I'm not listening to music anymore.
- William Hung all over again.. Kind of.
- Jury pool from hell. They were white.
- You guys don't like lesbians do you?
- Wild, Crazy, Bizarre and Sexy Videos.
- The blindfolded pianist plays another.
- I always wanted a black woman's purse.
- This is funny because they're in Florida.
- Glad someone is selling a laundry service
- You can't help it. You know you like Tyson.
- There's a party in my pants. I like the redhead.
- Cool people do the beatbox. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!
- Looks like Steven Disney is going retarded again.
- 24 is the best show on TV. Shut the buttfuck up.
- Hey look! Another one and it has a classic video in it.
- Beavis's BONINGGGG sound suddenly pops into my head..
- Funny, Strange, Bizarre News and Pictures from around the world!
- I wish girls were scared of my penis. It would be all like "GRRRRRRRR" ETC..


 

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