Entensity.net - Updated Daily

� I invented the clapper. posted on 11/29/04 by Opie

Well, I was a Rammstein fan.
JOKE!

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples."

I had to make this one, man I'm a funny one.

Kill kill kill!

He's all like: Yeah come on white gurl!

Down it!

From Fear Factor haha .. DAMN NIGGA!

There must be an exploit in there system, like the Target ones.

She has a nipple on her knee!

Uncircumcised penis? Nope, just a rat.
JOKE

A teacher is going over the rules and exceptions for missing a test for class.

"You may only miss a test in the class if you have a doctors note, a family emergency, or if you have a other immediate emergency."

One of the students asks, "What if we are too tired from, well...'sexual exhaustion' ?"

The teacher smiles for a second and says, "Well, I guess your going to have to write with your other hand."

- FFL -

- Poor guy.
- Harvard sucks.
- This a fetish?
- Asian sex lessons.
- Mind of a single guy.
- Bodypainting is sexy.
- Another Pimp that rules.
- Holy shit! The plague!
- J-Lo's boobies fell out!
- Oh dear Mary, another one!
- Meeting girls online is fun.
- If you buy this, you're gay.
- Australian police are nasty.
- Check out the videos here.
- I wonder if you can hump it?
- And he wonders why he's fat..
- Grab some tissue and get busy.
- Burnt Face Man to the rescue!
- This new Pepsi can't be good..
- Why are we counting this down?
- Cars get stuck a lot... Apparently.
- Americaaaaa FUCK YEAH!. (Let it load)
- Why would you want a doll with downs?
- Santa kicking some dudes ASS!
- New guy in prison needs some insurance.
- These kind of games are always fun to me.
- Foreign Beer Commercial with Hot Foreign Girl.
- Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegate go lezbo.
- Deleted Boogie Nights Scene. (Heather Graham)
- When I thought women couldn't get any dumber..
- My, has this page grown. (7 pages of animated titties)
- Pussy Inspector- Up against the wall and Spread Em' Babe!
- What these girls will do for a couple hundred bucks.. Shame shame..
- Martha Stewart's prison diary. (Go to the bottom for the latest haha)

Post Archives

� YEAH TOAST! posted on 11/26/04 by Opie

Alright this is fucking hilarious!
You'll crack up after the first minute once he gets going.

Pick up the DVD over at Bob and Tom.com

Has to be fake.. Edit: It's kmph der.
Charles Barkley is funny and he rules!

Just a few real quotes:

- "People say I eat a lot. I really don't. More or less I just eat all the time."

- "Hard fouls are part of the game. This ain't the WNBA."

- "I don't have time to put up with politics. Who's a Democrat? Who's a Republican? Who's liberal? Who's conservative? Man, can my daughter just go to a school and not get shot?"

- On the Portland Trail Blazers serving Thanksgiving meals: "In between arrests they do community service."

- "They say it about brothers, but I can guarantee everybody in Finland look alike."

- Ernie: What's the Knick's problem right now?
- Charles: They no good.

- "I've been rich and poor. Being rich is better."

- "I'm just what America needs - another unemployed black man."

- "My goals are to play the piano and get really, really, really fat."

- "I have so many great memories, I thank God I have this huge brain that can keep all these memories stored."

- "I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."

- "You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world & I might be right."

- "I don't listen to the refs. I don't listen to anyone who makes less money than I do."

- "I love New York City. I've got a gun."

- On the goal of the '92 Olympic Dream Team when playing Panama in the Tournament of the Americas: "To get the Canal back."

- "Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them."

- "I won't kill myself. I'm one of my favorite people."

- "The meek may inherit the earth, but they won't get the ball from me."

- On throwing an elbow at an Angolan: "Well, he might have pulled a spear on me."

- "Harmony isn�t important. The only things that matter are winning and getting paid."

- "I was going to donate the money to the homeless, but they would have better houses than me by the end of the season."

- "Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a while."

- "There will never be another player like me. I'm the ninth wonder of the world."

and, of course...

- "In four years, I'll be the first black governor of Alabama. In eight years, I'll be the first black president."

IMAGES!

Who wants to ride?

Turkey head.

Poor cat.. Huge sarcasm there.

May be a repost, but fuck it.

I'll need the video to this.

How the hell...

This guy is nuts! Goddamn I'm funny.

My definition of "nigger" is idiot, so it's true.

THUNDER SNOW!

Wrong Turn written all over it.
- FFL -

- Nice diaper.
- Yay for O.J.
- What the hell?
- Little soldier game.
- COUNTRIES! wtf?
- Boobies on C-SPAN!
- Jack off to free porn.
- Bad ass soccer goal.
- Yasser Arafat was gay!
- Target sells WEED now!
- How to cook a turkey.
- Odd flash about spoons.
- Looks like a little chimp.
- Beer Drinker's Dictionary
- What idiot would bid on this?
- Some women just amaze me.
- He wants a white bitch! haha
- Girls Gone Wild: Iraqi Version.
- Come on eBay.. Stop this shit.
- You'll see this toilet on cribs soon.
- Don't buy a Mac. (Old school link)
- Hahaha this bull is raping a midget!
- Porn Wars, the battle to fuck on top!
- What's the song? Sounds gayed up.
- Get a target wake-up call this morning.
- Don't strip for your boyfriends on tape girls.
- Some MP3s and junk in here. (New Eminem too)
- Scroll down and look at what they recommend.
- You're the 1,000,000th sex shop customer! haha
- Oh fuck, it's started with the religion faces on food.

Post Archives

� Gobble Gobble posted on 11/24/04 by Opie

Q: Hey, how do you guys smoke a turkey?
A: Puff of his butthole.

W.O.W Time..

Not just two titties.. SIX TITTIES!
( I'll have some fucking clips next month.. yay. )
Things you can only say at Thanksgiving.

1) Talk about a huge breast!
2) Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3) It's Cool Whip time!
4) If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5) Whew, that was one terrific spread!
6) I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7) Are you ready for seconds yet?
8) It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9) Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10) Don't play with your meat.
11) Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12) Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13) I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14) You still have a little bit on your chin.
15) How long will it take after you stick it in?
16) You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17) Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18) That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19) How long do I beat it before it's ready?

This girl is fucking stupid, which makes this funny as hell.
Friday I'll have a lot of images/videos, but here's a lot of FFL..

- FFL -

- Clever teens.
- Sex a Chick!
- What the gay?
- Have no life 2.
- Find that pussy.
- Stupid date quiz.
- Haha.. Gay ducks.
- Magic for 68 bucks.
- Serious Pimp Gear.
- So stupid, it's funny.
- Crazy Mexican alert.
- Cards can be weapons!
- It's really her own fought.
- Something in the water!
- Sex during Thanksgiving.
- Damn bitch. Pimps rule.
- Why women live longer.
- The middle east heats up.
- Nose hair and tears? Crazy.
- Asians need to get a bed.
- This guy has great "friends".
- I'm going to shut up on this one.
- Check out this crazy ass porn video.
- Just keep refreshing for lots of titties.
- It's INTERNET date time boys and girls.
- 6th one bites the dust. Crazy Asians..
- Bob Saget is God? No, but he rules a lot.
- Two hot chicks sucking face. (Kissing der)
- So the toast went for 28k. My goddamn...
- Wow, this is really stupid. So I'm posting it.
- McDonalds can pay for a boob job? (Playboy)
- Everyone loves these amateur pictures right?
- 85 lashes? Why not just throw hot grease on him?
- I'd like to cut some bacon off his fat ass. Oink Oink
- This will keep you entertained for two whole minutes!
- To bad they put the words over her Britney's boobs.
- Hey everyone we got the Antidote.. For EVERYTHING!
- People eating babies. I wouldn't look if you get offended easily.
- I knew I should've been playing with ninja turtles when I was 13.
- Britney putting make-up on in a see thru shirt. (Worth a re-post)
- Another ebay auction that actually made me laugh. (Which is rare)

Post Archives

� Entensity is spelled wrong posted on 11/22/04 by Opie

First, stop asking me to trade links with your site. Everyone will get a chance once I finish the rank script. It's already uploaded, I just have to customize it.

In case you want to see this fight again.

Here's the live feed unedited

Related to the fight clip. haha

Two deer boxing. That's crazy. I'd shoot em'.

I like how they just play it off.

This is like that clip in the featured media.

It's a blow job!

Dorks always seem to make it on this site..

Damn Dick..

Yeah, none of that now.

JUDO HEAD DROP!

Marry him.

I had to change my pants from laughing so hard.

Good work out.

I like it this way better.

Well...
- FFL - Short because I have other shit to do

- Find that frog!
- Funny vids and girls.
- It's called a flash button.
- Ever been in a riot fight?
- A Women's Sexual Lifestyle.
- Crawfish pees from it's face?
- Send a letter by Santa. Gay.
- In the streets of Falluja part 2.
- Serious Pimp, Fuck you pay me!
- U.S. and World Population Clocks.
- Who wants an anal massage? Target has em'!
- Dating for gamers. What's next?.. Dogs?
- Reconstruction of John F. Kennedy�s assassination.
- I needed some of these books when I was younger.
- Funny thing about this tech support, is that it's true.
- This is actually a funny ebay auction. (Read the story)
- Why would you want this? Maybe throw a cold at someone then run off laughing?

Post Archives

� Water taste gooood posted on 11/19/04 by Opie

Some E-fans getting a guy to say Entensity dot net. (He says not yet)

Good cover.

Duck calls in cars are funny.

Faces of Death kill!
R Kelly joke of the day:

This man, Pat, really wants to have anal sex with his girlfriend, but he doesn't know quite how to get around to it smoothly. So he goes to his friend, Joe, who is really experienced with the ladies.

Pat says to Joe, "Hey! i really wanna have anal with my girl. how can i do that without her thinking im moving too fast?"

So Joe says, "OK. This is what you do. You get home and the first thing you says is 'Hey bitch lets fuck' which always works, then you start fucking. Then after like 10 minutes switch positions to Doggy style. Then after about 10 minutes of that take it out and stick it in her ass. That should work"

So the next day Pat gets home from work and his girlfriend is cooking dinner and he says to her "Hey bitch lets fuck" so they start fucking. After 10 intense minutes of fucking they switch to doggy style. They're getting really into it and shes liking it a lot. Then after 10 minutes of doggy style he takes out his cock, and sticks it in her ass.

She turns to him and says "That was very presumptuous of you."

Then Pat says, "Oh, what a big word for a 6 year old."

IMAGES!

60's ad.

God I hate cats..

What did they feed this dog?

You just want the free prize.

Nope.

Kodak moment.

Goatse returns!

I hope they have the AC on in Hell.

Lucky spider, nice TITTA!

He's hunting.

Best way to do it.

Gay image of the month.
One more tasteless joke today:

A man and his wife are driving on the highway and get into a horrible car accident. The car is ripped to shreds, and an ambulance comes and takes the wife and husband to the hospital. The husband only undergoes a few broken bones, but the wife is in critical condition. After hours and hours of waiting the doctor finally comes out of the emergency room to talk to the husband.

He says, "I have some terrible news for you. Your wife is paralyzed from the neck down. You are going to have to do everything for her like bathing and feeding her. You will probably have to find a new job working at home so you can take care of her. I'm sorry."

At this point the husband is practically in tears and says to the doctor, "Oh my God! This is the absolute worst thing that has ever happened to me"

Then the doctor says, "Hey! I'm just fucking with you! She's dead!"

- FFL -

- Dumbass x2.
- Looks like fun.
- History of Boobs.
- Give Bush a brain.
- Boy pissed on a bomb?
- Free cam girls be here.
- I just call it jacking off.
- That's a of hell of a deal.
- Midgets and porn. Genius.
- Filename says it all homes.
- People actually enjoy this?
- A lot of Playboy party pics.
- This should make you laugh.
- Urban Legends VII: Evidence.
- You have got to be kidding me.
- People still use AOL? Get out.
- Don't mess with ASIAN rappers.
- INVISIBLE PEOPLE ARE INVADING US!
- A chicken factory worker singing for Simon.
- Better than that fucking dancing baby.
- Man search engine. Google is still better.
- I want a free trail of this online shooting.
- Justin and Ms. Diaz take care of business.
- Sign up and fuck with some INTERNET girls.
- Yes, breast feeding a puppy is a great idea.
- Harrier jet crashes near swimmers at beach.
- I want to see this movie. Just watch for a few..
- Go into the skating ring holding of of these bad boys.
- Pixar getting sued? That suck since Finding Nemo anyway..
- This is like that drunk guy walking flash, but with Bush.

Post Archives

� Funny posted on 11/18/04 by Opie

Real quick about Site news:

Daily Babe: Lost a lot of them back when my pc died, I will have the new ones tonight.

Other features: Again what I had was gone and not sure when I'll be able to do those.

I'm waiting on this other post server to go up, so once that is complete I'll get the other goods up. I'll probably go ahead and get the first half of the archives up tonight as well.

Dun dun dunnn.. THE RETURN OF Q AND A!

Q: What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control?
A: A trip without the kids!

Q: What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.

Q: Why is AIDS a miracle?
A: Because it turns fruits into vegetables.

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: How is a woman like a laxative?
A: They both irritate the shit out of you.

Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them...

Q:How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, feminists can't change anything.

Q: Why did God invent the yeast infection?
A: So women know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican with a Chinese?
A: Someone who can steal a car but can't drive it.

Q: Why do Jews have big noses?
A: Air is free.

Q: What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A: A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
A: Because they have cotton balls.

Q: What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
A: Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
A: They're hiring.

Q: Why is there no Disneyland in China?
A: No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

Q: What's the job application to Hooters?
A: They just give you a bra and say: Here, fill this out.

JOKE!

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building.

He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.

First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.

Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.

The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."

The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."

Plug: Sign up, complete a risk-free trial offer (Blockbuster or RealRhapsody are easy), refer some friends to do the same and you get a free Flat Screen or TV.

JOKE 2

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea.

When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.

"Premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"

- FFL -

- I don't know.
- Fishing is fun.
- It's boner time!
- 3 minute dating.
- This looks gross.
- They don't like Bush.
- Nice boobs and tees.
- Queefs are just funny.
- Just like the INTERNET!
- He likes to get fucked up.
- An Outhouse on the go!
- I wish I could double-talk.
- No more Holyfield? Oh well.
- Internet hunting would rule.
- Kuntzman!? That's crazy!
- Scroll to the very bottom.
- Very stupid game. Just look.
- "Nigga I want ALLL yo money!"
- A lot of great celebrity photos.
- Anna Nicole drunk at the AMA's
- Watch while eating. Just kidding.
- For all you crossword puzzle freaks.
- Want a creepy doll? I don't. I skered.
- I can make a black person on toast.
- I wish I could do a back flip like this guy!
- I'm sure you can find something to do here.
- US Marines fight in the streets of Falluja.
- THIS IS WHAT "1337" MEANS. So stop asking.
- Big ass picture. Just zoom in and see what you can find.
- Yeah, but they will still eat your face if you piss them off.
- These galleries are just stupid. Maybe why it's posted here?
- Pussy Inspector - Up Against the Wall and Spread Em' Babe!
- Seriously now, would you do this if you could? Gay! (Penis link)

Post Archives

� jiggle posted on 11/16/04 by Opie

Hey sorry for missing W.O.W, I was to lazy and busy to mess with the site, I plan on having 2 more post this week. One will be ffl and jokes and the other will be the regular stuff. Reason is that I'm waiting on this other post server to get set-up.

9 second Geo.

Now I wonder how many of you will try this.

Smart dog and now I must watch Grease.
10 TRUTHS BLACK AND LATIN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.
3. Jesus was not White.
4. Skinny does not equal sexy.
5. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
6. N' SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
7. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
8. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
9. Kissing your pet is not cute.
10. Rap music is here to stay.

10 THINGS WHITE AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW BUT LATIN PEOPLE DON'T ADMIT:

1. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
2. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
3. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
4. Hickey's are unattractive
5. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
6. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
7. 10 people to a car or home is considered too many.
8. Jesus is not a name for your son.
9. Maria is a name, but not for every other daughter.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store can get your BUTT whooped or theirs.

10 TRUTHS WHITE AND LATIN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Tupac is dead.
2. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
3. Having a ring on every finger is too much.
4. O.J. did it
5. Teeth should not be decorated.
6. Breaks are usually only 15 minutes.
7. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
8. RED is not a kool-aid flavor (it's a color).
9. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.
10. Your pastor doesn't know everything

The IMAGES!!!!!!11