» HEIL ME
posted on 11/30/07 by Opie
Ninja Parade. haha
A new "Rollin" video.
Giving him business!
Killed a pigeon via juggling.
The forklift couldn't handle the weight.
Like a more gay Lord of the Dance.
This dog is funny.
Very nice set.
Piss people off
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
2girls1cup essay.. haha
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Sexy.
[ SFW ] - Beach BJ.
[NSFW] - Juicy tits.
[NSFW] - Batter up.
[ SFW ] - Hot chick.
[ SFW ] - Weird limos.
[ SFW ] - Office Cock.
[NSFW] - Deep throat.
[ SFW ] - Ball blow job.
[NSFW] - Naked teens.
[NSFW] - Blonde twins.
[ SFW ] - Adriana Lima.
[ SFW ] - Buns of steel.
[NSFW] - Horny Nymphs.
[NSFW] - Some lesbians.
[ SFW ] - New Paris pics.
[NSFW] - Lots of hotties.
[NSFW] - Girls via hot tub.
[ SFW ] - Gamers are dorks.
[ SFW ] - A new super hero.
[NSFW] - Girls looking to fuck.
[ SFW ] - Give me back my son!
[ SFW ] - Cherry Chocolate Rain.
[ SFW ] - Great Christmas Gifts!
[ SFW ] - She's gonna strip for ya.
[ SFW ] - Kevin Costner rap song.
[ SFW ] - Sex face or sports face?
[NSFW] - Look at this fine ass slut.
[ SFW ] - Dumbest Lotto winner ever.
[ SFW ] - Measure your penis, you fag.
[ SFW ] - Megan Ewing is mega hot.
[ SFW ] - Kelly Pickler can't be this dumb.
[NSFW] - Only way he could get a woman.
[ SFW ] - Nicole Scherzinger clip collection.
[NSFW] - Smurfette having sex. This is weird.
[ SFW ] - Hot girls and video booths at Budweiser camp.
» the best day
posted on 11/28/07 by Opie
Note: Will post Friday and be back on the regular schedule.
W.O.W (Holy MILF)
Shark attacks a whale.
Can't go wrong with a naked Charlize Theron.
Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When the Mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby.."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Johnny."
Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
Yes", the Mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
That's great," said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be shit-outta-luck if he needed glasses.
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Naked.
[NSFW] - Wild time.
[NSFW] - Sexy girls.
[NSFW] - Busty Tits!
[ SFW ] - Nice body.
[ SFW ] - Slut blooper.
[ SFW ] - Sex Panther.
[ SFW ] - Drunk chicks.
[ SFW ] - Hot waitress!
[NSFW] - Korean hottie.
[ SFW ] - Truth or Dare?
[NSFW] - Street hooker.
[NSFW] - Goddamn sexy.
[ SFW ] - I love Shakira.
[NSFW] - Banged via van.
[NSFW] - Home video fun.
[NSFW] - Sexy pole dance.
[NSFW] - Teen via webcam.
[ SFW ] - Hayden's Upskirt.
[ SFW ] - The female orgasm.
[ SFW ] - The Pussy Cat Dolls.
[ SFW ] - Kim Kardashian's ass.
[ SFW ] - Brazil's hottest model.
[NSFW] - That's a lot of lesbians.
[ SFW ] - Cool new hybrid airship.
[ SFW ] - This is definitely a man.
[NSFW] - Chat with naked chicks.
[ SFW ] - Miss Howard TV Contest.
[NSFW] - Your ex may be on here.
[ SFW ] - Is that the subway dude?
[ SFW ] - Car audio dancing chicas.
[ SFW ] - Turn yourself into Scrooge.
[ SFW ] - What type of fighter are you?
[ SFW ] - Girls, you can die from a tampon.
[ SFW ] - Retard singing the National Anthem.
[ SFW ] - Let's hold hands and watch the Rambo 4 trailer again.
» Relax, I'm back
posted on 11/26/07 by Opie
The nipple song.. Crazy Indians.
Another cool Eagle Vs Deer. (or sheep)
He is dumb.
High firefighter. Fake but funny.
Cartman does the line up.
Donuts on ice.
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.
The horse begged for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! The chicken ran back to the farm. He searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Z-3 series BMW. Finding the keys inside, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive in the shiny BMW.
He managed to get a hold of the rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's car, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon he too began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story?
When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
See you guys in hell.
Sounds racist to me.
Looks like a penis shop.
Always use the flash on your camera.
This is worst that cup chicks.
- FFL -
[ SFW ] - Lingerie.
[ SFW ] - I'd hit it.
[NSFW] - Pool pussy.
[ SFW ] - She Came!
[ SFW ] - Baby eater.
[NSFW] - Doggy style.
[NSFW] - Hot Milf slut.
[ SFW ] - Celeb videos.
[ SFW ] - Broken femur.
[NSFW] - 2 girls 1 finger.
[ SFW ] - What the fuck.
[NSFW] - College chicks.
[ SFW ] - Bedroom Babe.
[ SFW ] - Funny T-shirts.
[NSFW] - Live sex shows.
[ SFW ] - Internet models.
[NSFW] - One night stand.
[NSFW] - Girls playing hard.
[NSFW] - Sex at the office.
[NSFW] - Some porno vids.
[ SFW ] - Kim Smith's Smokin'
[NSFW] - Her body is perfect.
[ SFW ] - Great Christmas Gifts!
[ SFW ] - Fun fact of the day.
[ SFW ] - Chick Vs Tanning Bed.
[ SFW ] - Christina's pussy pics.
[ SFW ] - Might make you laugh.
[ SFW ] - Find out your real age.
[ SFW ] - So stupid I had to post.
[ SFW ] - Penis enlargement kit.
[ SFW ] - Four hotties in spandex.
[ SFW ] - Model Liz Solari in a bikini
[ SFW ] - Nigga stole my ____. haha
[ SFW ] - So you think you can dance.
[ SFW ] - Die Hard music video. (All 4)
[ SFW ] - Who the hell eats their hair?
[ SFW ] - Everything about rap songs.
[NSFW] - That would be a deep throat.
[ SFW ] - Sexy Girls And Machine Guns.
[ SFW ] - New haircut. (Worth a repost)
[ SFW ] - Possum Death Spree, Episode 3.
[ SFW ] - Man that lives under ground is cool.
[ SFW ] - How well do you know the world? (Fun game)
posted on 11/21/07 by Opie
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a drivers license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Lesbians.
[ SFW ] - Sexy Kylie.
[ SFW ] - Sweet Ass.
[ SFW ] - Biker chicks.
[ SFW ] - Godly kitten.
[NSFW] - Tittie banged.
[NSFW] - Big boob alert.
[NSFW] - Big ass tittas.
[ SFW ] - Estella Warren.
[ SFW ] - Webcam Sluts.
[NSFW] - Perfect review.
[ SFW ] - Whoose boobs?
[ SFW ] - Celeb Sideboob.
[NSFW] - She's having fun.
[ SFW ] - Models in lingerie.
[ SFW ] - Those are perfect.
[ SFW ] - Flexible archer girl.
[ SFW ] - Excellent fighters...
[ SFW ] - Sexy Bikini Contest.
[ SFW ] - What the hell is this?
[NSFW] - Pure 18 Compilation.
[ SFW ] - Great Christmas Gifts.
[ SFW ] - Learn 30 card tricks.
[NSFW] - Fuck the girl next door.
[ SFW ] - Some hot babes for ya.
[ SFW ] - Webcam chicks are fun!
[ SFW ] - Show your parents love.
[ SFW ] - Batman & Robin do drugs.
[ SFW ] - I always wanted Spartan abs.
[ SFW ] - Can we get her naked.. Please?
[ SFW ] - Only reason to watch Wild things.
[ SFW ] - Change vehicle color at the flip of a switch.
[ SFW ] - In case you didn't know hollow point bullets were badass.
» cut your wrist.
posted on 11/19/07 by Opie
Dave Chappelle is back. (Two parts)
Accidents can happen and are funny.
Very funny Mcdonalds commercial.
Now that's road rage.
Cool stop motion vid with shirts.
Those are real.
A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken."
"What's the moral of that story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'."
"That was a fine story Sarah."
"Michael, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the fuck away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking."
This comic strip is funny as hell.. and racist!
- FFL -
[ SFW ] - Nip Slip.
[ SFW ] - Juicy Jenn.
[ SFW ] - Nice outfit.
[ SFW ] - Sexy nurse.
[ SFW ] - Perfect ass.
[NSFW] - She's all wet.
[NSFW] - Doggy style.
[ SFW ] - Turkey porn!
[ SFW ] - Breast fetish.
[NSFW] - This is nasty.
[ SFW ] - Nipple Teens.
[NSFW] - Spermhungry.
[ SFW ] - A hot girl too.
[ SFW ] - Keira Knightly.
[ SFW ] - Funny T-shirts.
[ SFW ] - Cool 3D painting.
[ SFW ] - Karolina Kurkova.
[NSFW] - ASIAN schoolgirl.
[ SFW ] - Deepthroat Delight.
[NSFW] - Blonde deep throat.
[ SFW ] - I'd take her hunting.
[NSFW] - I found a fuck buddy.
[ SFW ] - Charlize in foreign ad.
[ SFW ] - Real life Exorcist Walk.
[NSFW] - Figured she would be black.
[NSFW] - Legs over shoulders = great.
[ SFW ] - She has 200 orgasms a day.
[ SFW ] - More info on the Nigersaurus.
[NSFW] - Hot girls wanting to have fun.
[ SFW ] - Heads, you give me some tail.
[ SFW ] - Someone hand this girl a pistol.
[ SFW ] - Female rapper that smells penis.
[ SFW ] - An artist with a sense of humor.
[ SFW ] - Titties in The Rescuers. (Disney)
[ SFW ] - 15 year old gets 60 years.. haha
[NSFW] - Behind the scenes of a porn shoot.
[ SFW ] - Suicide is a great way to die, do it.
[ SFW ] - Chuck Norris and Mike Huckabee?
[ SFW ] - Kill turkeys with rocks or something.
» Good stuff today
posted on 11/16/07 by Opie
Q and A
Q: Why can't an Asian couple have a caucasian baby?
A: Two wongs don't make a white.
Yes that's a lawnmower and a cop.
Struck by lighting causes problems.
Wear your seat belt kids.
Awesome half-time show.
Black people don't act like this.
Inside tranny joke?
Caught his daughter being a Cam Whore!
Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot.
Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had:
8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!
Old school DAMN NIGGA!
Watch out for the pedo bear!
Big drunk titties.
Nice glass holder.
Danger at work.
- FFL -
[ SFW ] - Upskirt.
[NSFW] - Fuck pal.
[NSFW] - 4 hotties.
[ SFW ] - I like her.
[NSFW] - Free cams.
[NSFW] - Horny Slut.
[ SFW ] - Sex Pervert.
[ SFW ] - Emo poetry.
[ SFW ] - Gun Vs Nose.
[NSFW] - Squirting 101.
[ SFW ] - I like fishnets.
[ SFW ] - Keeley Hazell.
[ SFW ] - Racing action.
[NSFW] - She be horny.
[NSFW] - College honey.
[ SFW ] - Pam still has it.
[ SFW ] - Eye of the tiger!
[NSFW] - Hot French Coed.
[ SFW ] - F14 Pilot Wassup.
[ SFW ] - Italian Spiderman.
[ SFW ] - The NFL fly overs.
[ SFW ] - He deserved death.
[ SFW ] - Hanged Man's Elegy.
[ SFW ] - Just some hot celebs.
[ SFW ] - Need Christmas Gifts?
[ SFW ] - Boy and girl school fight.
[NSFW] - Hot blonde. (Nice rack)
[ SFW ] - Claudia Schiffer Video.
[ SFW ] - Deepthroat with braces.
[ SFW ] - Virus game or something.
[ SFW ] - Is this guy being serious?
[ SFW ] - Everyone should like this.
[NSFW] - Hook up with hot sexy singles.
[ SFW ] - I think these kids have downs.
[ SFW ] - Probably needs to be put down.
[ SFW ] - Nigersaurus - I didn't make that up.
[ SFW ] - Why the TV/movie writers are striking.
[ SFW ] - ASIANS being normal lesbians for once.
[ SFW ] - WWII-Era American Fighter Plane found.