» collaborate and listen
posted on 12/30/05 by Opie
Hope you fuckers have a safe New Year. Entensity keeps growing ever year and I'm so excited I think I just wet myself. Soooo, I'll type to you next year... (Quick content today, time to get drunk)
Says they're real. (Howard Stern show)
This is cool.
Hot Paris Hilton commercial.
A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him
the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit."
- FFL -
- Nice shot.
- Patient cop.
- Crab attack.
- Car tow crier.
- What the gay.
- Bartender tricks.
- Countdown to 24.
- This site is too fun.
- Yes, the world is flat.
- Just read the headline.
- Britney Spears on Sex.
- Video of hottie Simone.
- You guys might like this.
- How to fix your monitor.
- Watch out for that brick.
- Ghost Rider fans? Not me.
- This idiot is officially crazy.
- The Girls Next Door Part 1.
- Shit son, I still wet the bed.
- Cat thrown off bridge. Hooray.
- Pirates of Caribbean 2 trailer.
- His nickname can be dumbass.
- Here's some Rocky 6 pictures.
- Tire sculptures are pretty neat.
- Good jacking off stories this year.
- Winning the lottery would be neat.
- Them Russians are turning crazy.
- In case you haven't heard of cowbell.
- Church people offended by Southpark?
- Harry Potter author is about to start the last one.
- The Top 10 Craziest Science Stuff you didn't know.
» be-cool, stay-in-school
posted on 12/28/05 by Opie
I'll have something for ya Friday, but it will be later than usual.
W.O.W time fuckers.
Married man goes to the confessional and says to his priest, "I had an affair with a woman, almost.."
The priest says, "What do you mean, almost?"
The man says, "Well, we undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. Now say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves the confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that you didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The man replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and apparently that's the same as putting it in."
9 days a week..
Chuck Norris rules at Party Poker!
Example of "shit-eating-grin"
- FFL -
- Naked girls.
- Banana Sex
- Uhhh. Hmmm.
- Hot babes video.
- That looks like fun.
- Toothpaste Hottie.
- Where the girls are.
- Dancing or soccer?
- Blow up the aliens.
- Nikkie and a friend.
- Car vs Boat vs Bike.
- Sucked them fucked.
- Genderqueer dyke. k
- Pregnancy - The Game
- Two girls getting slammed.
- Will Ferrel as a crazy boss.
- I couldn't eat a cave spider.
- Sidewalk fishing looks like fun.
- Getting kicked in the nuts hurts.
- Lots of 24 Season 5 teaser trailers.
- How the fuck is this sick shit still up?
- Season's Greetings from Mike Tyson.
- Find out how fruity your faggot ass is.
- These bitches are stupid. There, I said it.
» Merry Christmas
posted on 12/25/05 by Opie
Post will start back up on Wednesday.
» I didn't forget.
posted on 12/21/05 by Opie
W.O.W = ASIAN style.
Plug: Get a free XBOX 360 Premium Edition. Just sign up, complete a free offer(Real Arcade GamePass is free), refer some friends to do the same and it's yours free! 100% legit.
She'll end up doing it all the way..
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn’t, he replied, “Of course I can, I’m Chuck Norris,” and roundhouse kicked him in the face.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
On the 7th day, God rested…. Chuck Norris took over.
When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.
God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.
Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility.
Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
Chuck Norris invented water.
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!”
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.
- FFL -
- Bruce Lee.
- Sleep sex?
- Light Saber.
- It's a Bunny.
- Keyhole Pussy?
- Girl knocked out.
- Girls giving head.
- Nude teen photos.
- Check out video #6.
- INTERNET DATING..!
- FMH girls from Norway.
- X-MEN 3 teaser trailer.
- Family Guy: Price is Right
- Fat guys on Family Guy.
- That's a huge snowman!
- Sad video. OK, I'll be nice.
- Hey everyone! Meet Mitch.
- Pretty mean but well worth it.
- Marisa Miller - Perfect 10 Hottie.
- Only posting because of the chair.
- I really hate Larry the Cable guy.
- Gorillas go through menopause too.
- This is a commercial? (Dubbed over)
- I hope they aren't paying these idiots.
- One of the funniest SNL skits. (Narnia Rap)
- V for Vendetta trailer with Natalie Portman.
- Apparently people fantasize about giant rabbits now...
- "Eminem Music Allegedly Used As U.S. Torture Device"
» ta da
posted on 12/19/05 by Opie
Note: This weeks post (meaning all of them) will be late and random. Busy.. busy.
How cool is this?
Someone get this man a tittie.
Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died.
1st women: I froze to death.
2nd women: How horrible
1st women: It wasn't so bad, after I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd women: I died of a massive heart attach. I suspected my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act, but instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st women: So what happened?
2nd women: I was so sure there was another women there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking, I ran up into the attic and searched, down into the basement, then went through the closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st women: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer.
Lets shake on it.
Re-post? Ah, who cares.
Anyone else want to do cart-wheels through that?
- FFL -
- Peeing is fun.
- Yay for nudity.
- Arnie likes Ass.
- Can we say hot?
- Deformed animals.
- Lan party hotties.
- Neat-o bike stunts.
- Fun shooting game.
- Pissed off Elephant.
- Cool shark costume.
- The Chappelle theory?
- Two girls and a dude.
- The perfect sexy gift.
- Some fashion is great.
- Jingle Bells.. In reverse.
- Brad Pitt was kidnapped.
- Play poker, Maxim style.
- Damn that peanut butter.
- Dating his mother online....
- 53% of marriages end in divorce.
- He must be like a "5 second" man.
- Snowball fighting Christmas game.
- Victoria's Secret 2002 Lingerie Show.
- Pamela Anderson gives Howard Stern a lap dance.
posted on 12/16/05 by Opie
Yeah short again, may be a few good post next week. After the Holidays it will be all good bitches.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.
Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.
If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity." then you are dead wrong.
Chuck Norris uses a live rattle snake for a condom.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f--k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
- FFL -
- I'd do her.
- Bra boxing.
- Mile high kit.
- Texas Babes.
- Naked ladies.
- Little porn clip.
- Trampoline fun.
- 3 HOT Streakers.
- Hooray for the bull.
- Robin Williams rules.
- Hahaha.. just watch.
- Alizee - Jen Ai Marre
- Restaurant Strippers.
- Class President Strips.
- Incredible ASS on KASS
- The Da Vinci Code trailer.
- Celebrity Porn-A-Like Quiz.
- Don't submit stuff like this.
- Alizee - La Isla Bonita Video
- Girls wont need us anymore.
- Christmas light show. Part 3!
- New Chappelle's Show trailer.
- Wedding Crashers Soundboard.
- Girl has a huge growth on her face.
- Good poker players know when to fold.
- Russia's most dangerous home videos!
- A real solar death ray. Here kitty kitty kitty...
- Sarah Michelle Gellar - holding your own boobs magazine.
» all I had time for...
posted on 12/14/05 by Opie
W.O.W is now up, shitheads.
An OK W.O.W clip..
Apparently my Internet died while it was uploading and since I just got home it's re-uploading now and will stay up another day.
Sorry about that, blame fucking road runner.