» I love the Internet.
posted on 12/12/05 by Opie
Since it's Christmas time and all... (Repost)
I added something to this one.
E-fan from Prison
Last night was my last night in prison.
There was this new guy in the cell next to me. The guy that was already in there was this really big guy who loved to fuck with the new guys, but he wasn't actually one of those ass-rapers. Just a really funny big guy.
Anyway, this new guy started crying randomly, and the big guy said "Hey, don't cry, you're my bitch now." That made the new guy cry even harder.
Big guy says "come on, let's play a game. we'll play 'house', ok?"
New guy says "What... what do you mean?"
Big guy says "We'll play house. You know, like when we were kids. Do you wanna be the husband or the wife?"
New guy says quickly, "husband! I'll be the husband!", thinking he's got his ass covered by being the husband.
Big guy says "Ok, you're the husband. Now get the fuck down here and suck your wife's dick."
Oh shit son!
One picture per person.
You're going to hell with me for laughing.
- FFL -
- Lucky guy.
- Pizza panic.
- Good LAWD!
- Naked ladies.
- Virtual insanity.
- Dumbass actors.
- Macy is a hottie.
- David Blaine rules.
- Toys for Christmas.
- Car tow gone wrong.
- Bluegrass is kick ass.
- Hello Satan. It's hot.
- Mouse games are fun.
- What a fantastic book.
- Everyone likes blondes.
- That Jesus guy is silly.
- Yeah, I'd pee in her butt.
- Check out the last image.
- Do you have a small penis?
- Hot ASIAN in the shower.
- The bloody penguin game.
- The answer is: Fuck yes.
- Pretty dumb, but I'll post it.
- Wild Boys clip. (Snake kiss)
- New Chappelle stuff in 2006!
- All those pictures and no tittie.
- Haha. 666 and last name Satan.
- Just what I need.. A penis warmer.
- Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2005.
- Holy assholes. Octopus eats a Shark.
- Should have painted the Santa black.
- Only posting because of the Water Monster.
- Shootings in Liberia (pictures and video link)
- Kobe is saying "Room 204, after the game"
- Girls with herpes complaining on the INTERNET.
- Tape a roach on a tampon and stick it in your vagina.
- Chick from "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" naked.
- MTX Jackhammer (with car from show) getting sold on eBay.
» . . . . .
posted on 12/09/05 by Opie
What a shitty way to die.
Be sure to turn that volume up.
That guy is crazy.
Things I learned from movies
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
12. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
13. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
15. All single women have a cat.
16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
20. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
21. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.
22. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
23. Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.
24. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
25. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
26. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.
27. Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers.
28. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
29. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
30. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
31. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
That looks bad.
Watch out for that lip.
Get crabs to eat them.
Some crazy green plants.
- FFL -
- Head shot.
- Hi Amy Sue.
- Broken eye.
- Penguin darts.
- Silly Canadians.
- Girls giving head.
- Brawl in Taiwan.
- Extreme unicycle.
- Buffy having sex!
- Nude teen Photos.
- Batman and Robocop.
- Elisha Cuthbert Video.
- Well this is new. (Porn)
- New Xbox 360, for free.
- ASIAN version of Fear Factor?
- Somebody doesn't like dolphins.
- Failed stage dive attempt. Haha.
- Shitty game. HAHAHAHA.. Uh huh.
- She was born a man. JERRY JERRY...
- Xmen 3 Announcement Teaser trailer.
- In case you missed W.O.W. (Little part)
- Is the bible bullshit or fact? (Penn and Teller)
- History's youngest mother. Damn that R Kelly.
- David Cross tears Larry The Cable Guy a new asshole.
» Another one.
posted on 12/07/05 by Opie
Uh oh. a "death" threat
jokes: i know where you are fool. you wont be hunting for long.
------ eviromental variables ------
REMOTE ADDR: 126.96.36.199
BROWSER: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1)
Poor kid must have downs.
Mentos and diet coke does something neat-O.
Arnold and Jackie make a great team.
Hottie and her vibrating phone.
Here you go
Another Huge Bitch for ya.
A woman goes to her boyfriends' parents' house for Christmas dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrriiip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip.
This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, " Dammit Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!"
- FFL -
- Rough Sex.
- Naked girls.
- I smell porn.
- Jesse Capelli.
- Crazy Asians.
- Hi, I'm dumb.
- Surprise party.
- Matrix explained.
- Fist shaped dildo.
- Mspaint drawing.
- She could ride me.
- Dang. That's neat.
- Another Alizee clip.
- Cartoon Perversions.
- When chimps attack.
- Christina model video.
- Smile different. It's fun.
- Good with that there ball.
- Christmas time is here. haha
- The hottest ass - strip video.
- Can't touch me. (Family Guy)
- Who wouldn't do these twins?
- Ask the Pastor some questions.
- Three needles in patient's brain.
- Flintstones cigarette commercial.
- Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2005.
- So dumb you can't help not to laugh.
- Teachers were scared to call his name.
- His parents must have really liked games.
- Just sentence this idiot to death. Thanks.
- Send phone pictures here and save. (BOOBS!)
- Would have been much better if he hit the car.
- At first you're like: "Shit" - The you're like "Yes".
- Some info about that cool Christmas lights video.
- Keep the ball up. (You've probably played before)
- Fear of rectums. Haha (At least you wont be gay)
- How many of these people you think are virgins and have small dicks?
posted on 12/05/05 by Opie
This post should make up for the slacking (Have had zero time)... Should be normal this week.
Last months archives are up and also the Daily babes are new.
This guy is really good. I'd give him a gold star.
More Walker fun.
Saved by a tree.
It will never end:
That's a huge bitch (I'll have two others this week!)
This is genius.
Leave it to the ASIANS...
Turn that hat around nigga!
School is closed.
Joke (Might have been posted?)
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in Mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So.... you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. "Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."
- FFL -
- Lookn' Sexy!
- BMX jumping.
- Tiffany Lang.
- Big ass booty.
- He missed him.
- Hot babe video.
- Santa isn't real.
- Internet dating.
- Naked girls 101.
- Cheating hottie.
- Naked celebrities.
- Where's is pacifier?
- COME ONNNN TITTIE.
- This student is crazy.
- Petra Nemcova video.
- Christmas games. Yay.
- "Erotic" pussy pictures.
- Passion of the Benny Hill.
- Motorcyclist hit by a car.
- Girls getting wedgies. OK.
- Hangman - Russian Roulette.
- Internet suicide is so funny.
- This job would suck anyways.
- These kids look like little dolls.
- A webpage for everyone. Kind of.
- Must take a lot to be a pro bowler.
- Treadmill bike. Survey says: Dumb.
- That two quarters guy is retarded.
- Watch out for da squirrel pac playa.
- Seth Mcfarlands first short. (Family Guy)
- I may have to get this horn for my truck.
- Mr. T's voice in your navigation system!!!
- 139k for a Xbox 360. Ri-GODDAMN-diculous.
- And I thought everything was legal overseas.
- Cybersex is not for everyone. (Skip to the end)
- Sexsomnia eh? He's pretty clever for a Canadian.
- Lindsay Lohan's bouncing breasts. (Before the loss)
- Playboy takes over the South American Womens Soccer team.
- Damn now these are some very lovely asses and titties! (Nudity)
- MONICA, is that you!? Haha stupid bitch. (Only friends will get that)
- These must be those "funny" cigarettes.. (Since they dance around..)