posted on 03/31/06 by Opie
FYI: I now accept Neteller for all you guys wanting to advertise.
Here's W.O.W again for those it messed up for
Getting a N64 is funny as hell.
Squirrel says: "Back up DEER"
Air show crash.
Which one is going down?
Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied,"No ma'am, they're dead."
Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,"Got stuck,huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Smart Ass Answer #1:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and uttersexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
You will laugh.
Can he get some cornflakes, please?
That is pretty cool.
Hi, I'm dumb.
I bet he'd give more effort if Godzilla was behind him.
- FFL -
- Yoga master.
- Adriana Lima.
- Hot Euro girl.
- Wake-up call.
- A wasp for a pet.
- Leprechaun Remix!
- Oh yeah, that's hot.
- Wonder Showzen 1.
- Wonder Showzen 2.
- Jennifer Love Hewitt.
- Freddie gets fingered.
- Kick some field goals.
- Amateur doggie style.
- A sex toy for you girls.
- Jenna takes the weiner.
- Mouse trap on the nose.
- More pavement drawings.
- Internet porn dream machine
- Two fetuses inside an infant.
- The Da Vinci Code - Full trailer.
- Monica the Maid gets banged.
- OK, fucking dolphins is just crazy.
- Here's a skin for your stupid Ipod.
- Owners of Facebook want 2 billion.
- A lot of the optical illusion pictures.
- Celebrities as kids. (Pictures, dumbass)
- Cybersex is dumb, but you can be a playa.
- Naked Girls, Booze, fights and all that good shit.
» early porn day.. hooray
posted on 03/29/06 by Opie
W.O.W = Two blondes.
Crazy how it didn't get hurt.
Chick from Smallville.
A black guy walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.
"The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . you started it."
That is just ridiculous.
Goddamn, tan much?
From an ASIAN store..
- FFL -
- Mr. Body.
- Nice room.
- Kirsten Price.
- Don't do drugs.
- Colombian sex?
- Free razor mang.
- Crazy college girl.
- The jogging tease.
- Wild webcam teen.
- What the fuck. Gay.
- Don't shoot the puppy.
- Spring Break Exclusive.
- If you like nipple slips...
- Dude, you fucking suck.
- This game is pretty fun.
- Old date, funny suicide.
- Look at these big ass titties.
- Six foot one and counting....
- Real Yahoo Personals pictures.
- Clap your hands if you like porn.
- Somebody is getting some money.
- Mission: Impossible III new trailer.
- Guns and girls. (I like the first one)
- Street racing on bikes then, you know.
- Oh, we're going to have to put him down.
- Ron Burgundy's failed ESPN audition tapes.
- $4,334.33 bill at Burger King.. Stupid niggers.
- This sucka will shred anything. (Cats?.. OOPS..)
posted on 03/27/06 by Opie
He's no Spiderman.
A better version of the boob slip.
Guy walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
His girlfriend stops reading as he says "honey this is the pig I screw when you have a headache."
His girlfriend looks disgusted and says "I think if you look again you will notice that is a sheep, you idiot"
And the guy replies "I think if you look again you will notice that I am not talking to you”
Kiss the ring bitch!
This image isn't right at all.
Someone needs to wake up and smile.
Who's gots the lighter!?
Great boob job. That was a sarcastic comment.
- FFL -
- Poor Duke..
- Sheep pool.
- Best friends.
- Melissa Kellar.
- Miranda Kerr.
- Salvia abuse.
- Crazy skydiver.
- I like that dress.
- College sex party.
- Death wish frenzy
- Wow, those are legos.
- "Outrageous" moments.
- These titties are nice.
- Somebody likes squirrels.
- She's naked and blonde.
- Anti-rape female condom.
- Vinsanity!!! Vince Carter
- Eliza Dushku is a hot one.
- Who's he kidding, he's gay.
- This guy wants to be black.
- Innovative ideas for suicide.
- These kids are fucking gone.
- Some thoughts on underwear.
- Fighting game with super heros.
- Check out the new type of wheel.
- Black people's take on Leprechauns.
- Funny video about the drug business.
- Man killed a kid for walking in is yard.
- Another maze game, it wont scare you.
- Well, my dick counts as another person too.
» Wud up g
posted on 03/22/06 by Opie
Note: Fucking Internet was out Friday/some today, so thank Time Warner.
The sequel to Brokeback Mountain.
Now, this is an ass.
So that's what happened to him.
He's a clever one..
He'd get money if he held a sign that says "Rides 5 dolla"
A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot..
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said,
"New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman began to laugh about the situation
considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Keith!"
- FFL -
- Rain pain.
- Strip Poker.
- Hot beer girls.
- Gangsta (c)rap.
- I like her boobs.
- Toothbrush porn.
- Can boobs grow?
- Hey, I'll hold those.
- Homemade fireworks.
- Hot college slut strips.
- Salma Hayek dancing.
- Nice MySpace profile.
- Check out the videos.
- Why not just say "shit".
- Big tit MILF shows it all.
- Watch out for that tree.
- I need to get some bees.
- This is Italy's richest man.
- Making threats on MySpace?
- Make your own subtitled movie.
- Miss Universe losses her dress.
- I finally hit one over the fence.
- Pretty cool Sony Bravia commercial.
- Teacher gets his pants pulled down.
- In case you missed that puke video.
- People shouldn't play with their food.
- They put up a hidden speed bump and...
» yo yo yo
posted on 03/20/06 by Opie
Note: The usual on W.O.W (Later today 3/22/06)
That's some shit.
Watch the guy on the bike.
I don't get why people like this...
Kobe Tai Tutorial: Packing 101
One day Fred and Pete are out duck hunting with Fred's new dog "Riley". Fred tells his buddy that Riley is the most amazing dog he has ever seen when it comes to hunting ducks.
"How so?" asks Pete.
"Well, I look at Riley and I say "Riley, go get 'em" and he hauls off into the marsh, then comes back and tells me how many ducks are out there by the number of times that he barks at me."
"Okay, watch!" Fred tells Riley to "go get 'em" and about 10 minutes latter, Riley comes back and barks 6 times. Just about that time 6 ducks fly out from the marsh.
Fred tells Riley to "go get 'em" again and he comes back a while later and barks 4 times. 4 Ducks fly out from the marsh.
Pete says – "Holy shit! This dog is unbelievable. Can I buy him from you, name your price!"
"I don’t know Pete, I kinda like the dog, I don't think I can sell him."
"How 'bout $5,000?"
A few weeks go by and Fred runs into Pete down at the local feed store.
"How's my dog been treatin’ you?" says Fred.
"Aw, I had to shoot that damn dog 2 days ago."
"WHAT! Why did you shoot the dog?"
"Well, I took him out last weekend to the marsh for duck hunting and sent him off to the marsh just like you would and he was gone for almost an hour. He came back a runnin' as fast as he could out of the marsh with a stick in his mouth, went up to my leg and started humpin' me like I was the prom queen or somethin' and shakin' that stick all about. I thought he had rabbies or somethin', so I shot him."
"You dumb ass, he was tryin' to tell you that there were more fucking ducks than you can shake a stick at!"
This is just sad.
Her nipples are not hard.
Not sure what the hell she's doing..
- FFL -
- Great galleries.
- Virgin violence.
- What the shit?
- Crazy lady 101.
- Best game ever.
- Basketball game.
- Tiger rolling deep.
- Sex on the beach.
- Hot news reporter.
- Young Angelina Jolie.
- Worst porn site ever.
- They sure seem sad.
- KKK Music? No thanks.
- MDX Picking up hotties.
- A long video about 9/11.
- Jane Lloyd. (This is good)
- Bras that have a message.
- This aging disease is crazy.
- How to get free gas. (Classic)
- Rank the movies you've seen.
- Ripe TV casting video. (Hottie)
- This game kept pissing me off.
- Very cool Mod case for Doom3.
- 24/7 free porn streaming channel.
- So this is the guy that sings this.
- The newest crazy tech from Sony.
- Those stupid racist twins have a website.
- This is why I always keep a pistol in my truck.
- About halfway through something odd happens.
» I'm my #1 fan
posted on 03/17/06 by Opie
UFC.. with cats. Very funny.
Jack and Chuck together.
I'm glad they didn't miss.
Oh my god!!!!... So fake.
Look at this cool brush.
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"
"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me. I'm celebrating."
"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.
"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I switched cocks," he replied.
She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"
- FFL -
- Hot girls.
- Napster ad.
- Crazy crash.
- ASIAN girl slap.
- Real-life flubber.
- Macgyver again!
- Save the sheep!
- Asian goth girls?
- Naked ice skating.
- St. Patrick's Day Love
- Hahaha.. stupid bitch.
- Dang mang, she's hot.
- Spy vs Spy Halo 2 style.
- Fucking in the bathroom.
- Ok, this guy is just crazy.
- What a way to lose it though..
- Hanging out with hottie Laetitia Casta.
- Jennifer Connelly has some big ass titties
- Must love Jaws. (This gets very funny towards he end)
- List of some people on Myspace that died. (Pictures + stories)
» I got nothing...
posted on 03/15/06 by Opie
Just kidding, THIS IS THE REAL W.O.W video.
Dells are only good for porn.
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, “ When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, “take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “ Eat me” .
12) The Virgin Mary is not called “ Mary with the Cherry,.
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
Sounds like a good time.
- FFL -
- Crazy legs.
- I smell porn.
- Google Mars.
- Hottie horror.
- What the why?
- Fun in a Dell box.
- French maid outfit.
- Donut burger.. nasty.
- If Microsoft made Ipod.
- How did he walk away?
- Natalie Portman tribute.
- It's the Nutty Professor.
- Neve Campbell likes girls.
- A bunch of good galleries.
- Latino with big ass titties.
- No more chef on Southpark.
- Do you take it up the ass?
- Jessica Alba may sue Playboy.
- Getting hit with a potato gun.
- Probably the best juggling video.
- 31 very bad masturbation ideas.
- Holy shit! It's a MINI MICHAEL!...
- If you like boobs, raise your hand.
- Two lesbians doing "IT". OOHHHH!!!
- Now that's a video game collection.
- Actual pussy scent... YES IN A BOTTLE!
- You are going to hell with me for laughing.
- I liked this one: "Can you get AIDS from eating your own cum?"
- Forget the story, doesn't she look like one of those "real dolls"?