» Here I go dawg.
posted on 04/12/06 by Opie
Kind of short, because of porn day.
Enjoy hell with me. (If you laughed)
Dogs are crazy.
Supposedly a true long (but good) story
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the three hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The six bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind.
This leaves only the three bars I left today, as my instructions from the management are to leave three soaps daily.
I hope this is satisfactory.
Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added three little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet.
I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
Please remove them.
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wednesday so the relief maid left three hotel soaps which we are instructed to do by the management. I took the six soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the three complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday.
Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience.
If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal
attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty.
I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another three bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of three bars on the bath-room shelf.
In just five days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap.
Why are you doing this to me?
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps.
If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.
I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave three bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately.
Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here?!
All I want is my bath size Dial.
Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them.
The 24 Camays which had been taken and the three Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets.
Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the three daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
- On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
- On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
- On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
- Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
- In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
- On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
- On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.
One more item: I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
- FFL -
- Cool game.
- Burger babe.
- Jenna's boobs.
- Big ass titties.
- Skate wipeouts.
- Bride agency. No.
- So, this is candy?
- Top 10 Terrorists
- Now this is a boat.
- Football is coming.
- Check out this ride.
- Sex in the bathroom.
- Homemade sex tape.
- ASIANS caught fucking.
- Check this out pussies.
- ASIAN girl going to town.
- Harry Potter hottie heaven.
- Why get kicked in the nuts?
- You have to be bored to make this.
- Jessica Simpson wants to be a Mom.
- You should just kill yourself if you pay.
- Remember the cop that shot himself in the foot, in a class?
» OOPS, I'm late.
posted on 04/10/06 by Opie
Jingleheimer Junction! (Funny SNL skit)
K-fed Carebears remix.
APPARENTLY she wanted that "Nigga cum"
Yes, that's a hippo.
Look both ways.
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts"
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."
This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.
When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."
"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"
The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it started!”
- FFL -
- Got porn?
- Dell Porno.
- Death date.
- Adriana Lima.
- Mile high club.
- We got worms.
- This is a dude?
- Topless carwash.
- Neat-O pictures.
- Midgets dancing.
- Gig I-Ram is fast.
- Great galleries for ya.
- That's a neat sex toy.
- Teens with clean lips.
- Lesbian mud wrestling.
- That's a big ass rabbit.
- 100 yard football pass.
- I want to be a teacher.
- Simpsons movie teaser.
- I believe that says scat.
- Red head with big boobs.
- Perfect for golden showers
- $238.50 for a fucking box.
- Insult those foreign people.
- American Pie: The horror movie.
- Power Ranger + cool music = fun.
- "I don't want this on the Internet"
- I'm not even going to touch this joke.
- Can't show Brokeback Mountain in prison.
- Top ten things we like about basic instinct.
» A lot today.
posted on 04/07/06 by Opie
Hockey + glass = pain.
Paintball in the mouth.
Don't play with fire.
Good Christina Model clip.
You guys remember that "lickable" picture posted on Monday? Well looks like Breyers icecream didn't get that joke and here's what the sent me:
I did take the image down because it DID have their Logo on it, but it's quite ignorant to think that people would actually think that is a real advertisement.
Good luck with that...
Those are weird.
Sent: Wednesday, April 05, 2006 6:31 PM
hey dude.. ive been watching your W.O.W every wednesday. but i cant wait a week for it to come up.. so do you mind if i use your account for bangbros.com.. i wont mess with it.. just want some good porn, and they have got the best.. thanks
common dude.. let me just jack off nicely
Anyway "LOSER MIKE" from the forums found his Myspace:
Here's the Myspace link
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000.
The bank officers says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, parked on the street, in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5000, and the interest, which is $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5000?"
The blonde replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for $15.00?
- FFL -
- Cool Ads.
- I KNEW IT!
- 2D Hockey.
- Girls fighting.
- Beautiful Girl.
- Amateur sex.
- Petra Nemcova.
- Flying a bit low.
- Gatorade is porn.
- Fantastic couple.
- Anti-Grav laptop.
- Get a pizza or die.
- Horny slut contest.
- You guys will love this.
- What the hell is this?..
- Chainsaw dildo chicks.
- Cat with two tongues.
- Not just for teenagers..
- Drive Through troubles.
- Carmen Electra Workout.
- Buying porn. (Manshow)
- This baby looks too real.
- Young couple fucking. (Hot)
- This dude is a fucking idiot.
- Aww, he took after his Dad.
- Games sure have changed...
- A bunch of "Owned" pictures.
- This water scooter looks cool.
- Face first on a hardwood floor.
- Southpark ripping on Family Guy..
- A few months old but funny as hell.
- The South Park/Tom Cruise War of 2006.
- Another reason for girls to stay on the phone.
- Haha, these guys deserve an prize. (Block of cheese?)
- Run Windows on a Mac. Now Macs may be worth something.
» Busy as a Nigga eatin' chicken.
posted on 04/05/06 by Opie
W.O.W is outside today.
(Yep, all for today.)
posted on 04/03/06 by Opie
Apparently ASIANS can't say "clock". (Very funny)
Be careful now.
Drunk animals... Damn that Nature.
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
Nope, no more booze for me
Sorry, but you're not really my type
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
Those boobs are crazy.
Get this girl a diaper.
Lick image removed, Stay tuned for ALL the Legal threat e-mails and junk, haha
- FFL -
- I like her.
- Hot babe.
- Big boobs.
- Invisible door.
- He missed, yay.
- Bottle cap bikini.
- How'd she do that?
- Oh look a Princess.
- N64 kid has DJ skills.
- Check out this Hummer.
- This made my side hurt.
- These titties are perfect.
- Biggest Wet ASIAN tits.
- Hot chicks getting wasted.
- This is an odd looking baby.
- What an excellent porn title.
- Two Armadillos getting busy.
- What the hell are they doing.
- His arms don't look right at all.
- This artist can trim my bushes.
- Most new clocks change itself...
- Classic: White boy at the Apollo.
- Brunettes get lubricated in Tropics.
- These cunts should shut up and fuck.
- Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegate.
- Google Romance...(In case you forgot)
- Undertaker and Monday Night Football.
- Uh oh.. a 9/11 movie coming to theaters.
- Teenager getting breastfed.. Silly asses...
- Shakira's Hips don't lie video. (I'd so do her)
- Kiefer Sutherland is playing another Jack Bauer character.