Vacation is fun. posted on 05/31/06 by Opie
W.O.W time (Even though I'm on vacation, you cunts)
A person reviewing people in an insane asylum walks around and is pleased with what he sees. He starts to review patients to see what they will do when they get out.
He walks up to the first guy and sees him throwing a football around. He automatically knows that he wants to be a football player.
He walks up to another guy and sees him throwing a baseball around. He could automatically tell that he wanted to be a baseball player.
He walks to the next cell and sees a man with his dick in a bowl of peanuts. He flips out and asks what he is doing. The man replies "I'm fucking nuts, I'm never getting out of here!"
- FFL -
- Nip slip.
- Hot chicks.
- Halle Berry.
- BJ in public.
- Agent 7-11.
- Moped crash.
- Sexy red head.
- One clever dog.
- No gum allowed.
- Little hot blonde.
- Fucking weather.
- Playboy Germany.
- Wormhole extreme.
- Oh look, free porn.
- Online Mafia game.
- Lesbians with toys.
- This is just retarded.
- Neo versus Robocop.
- That dude got stuck.
- Salty chocolate balls.
- Webcam girls are fun.
- These posters are funny.
- Pedophiles should be shot.
- Vietnamese love hot dogs.
- Make a spider with money.
- Putting a baby in the dryer.
- Before and after pics of Artie.
- Lohan and Hilton wax statues.
- 13 years old.. 210 lbs. HA-HA.
- I want to get drunk with Kiefer.
- Playing video games for a living.
- Girls pumping gas pedals are hot.
- This game will give you something to do.
- I can't believe what I'm reading and I popped a boner.
More videos and goods Friday.
» Holiday = quick
posted on 05/29/06 by Opie
Hughes VS GRACIE
My he's a fast climber.
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating."Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating, " her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs, " her father answered. So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.
"Well, we're not having any of that gay shit in our garden!"
- FFL -
- Hot Babe.
- Talk show fight.
- Solve the crime.
- Hot News chicks.
- What a lucky guy.
- Amateur sex video.
- English foot fetish.
- British accent guy.
- Three naked chicks.
- Two girls having fun.
- Free hardcore videos.
- Hockey dad gets him.
- Stars.. Then and now.
- That baby looked fake.
- I wasn't expecting that,
- Try licking on this fellas.
- GTA 4 finally announced.
- No shorts allowed in Iraq.
- Cindy Margolis in Playboy.
- Another Star Wars movie?.
- Someone set her ass on fire..
- This is why skydiving is skery.
- Two cops gunned down in store.
- This is how you drive a stick.. Girls.
- I don't care what you say, you're gay.
- "NO LOWBALLERS OR GYPSY SCAMMING!!"
posted on 05/26/06 by Opie
Get out of my life!
In the movie he's suppose to say "I'm the Jaugernaut bitch!"
This dude is fast.
These guys are funny.
Stacy Keibler is hot.
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language.
After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals?
For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time.
If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis... fifty times"
Watch out guys.
I wonder if that's an error?
Life of a bird.
- FFL -
- Hot babes.
- Sexy MILF.
- WEED thief.
- Hot videos.
- Jessica Alba.
- Taylor Hicks.
- Hooter chick.
- Bad bike crash.
- Star Trek fans?
- Invisibility cloak.
- Sybian orgasms.
- The perfect job?
- Mouth to mouth.
- Free porn videos.
- He-man gone gay?
- Man sets wife on fire.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar.
- No legs? No problem.
- Secret STUFF part 1.
- Secret STUFF part 2.
- Great underwear for girls.
- Tractor pulling gone wrong.
- She is fucking a giant rabbit.
- See-through clothes are fun.
- It's probably because he's black.
» Your favorite day..
posted on 05/24/06 by Opie
A guy was on his way to work and he brushes past a chick the the most perfect tits in the world. He quickly says sorry and sheepishly asks "If I give you $10 can I bite your tits" She looked disgusted and said "NO!"
The guy thought about what he had done wrong and the next day on his way to work he saw her again "If I give you $100 can I bite your tits" but again she goes "No!"
The next day the guy asked for the entire months pay and he says to the her "If I give you $4000 can I bite your tits" She looked doubtful so he showed her the handful of notes."Okay but not here"She takes his hand and pulls him into an alley way on the side of the street and the guy gets down to rubbing kissing and licking her tits...after about 5 minuetes she gets bored and says "Well are you going to bite them"
The guy grins steps back and says "Nope" and he walks away...
Which would you choose.
PETA wont like this one.
Edit: It seems the image above is hurting some of your feelings, I guess you forgot about that cat video. I'm not supporting it, just posting it to show the idiots of this world.
He will kick your ass.
Her skull is trying to escape the skin.
- FFL -
- Row faster.
- Booty shake.
- Big ass colon.
- Flexible couple.
- Drunk chicks rule.
- Nice hockey fight.
- 3 minute porn clip.
- Cripple breakdance.
- What a great couple.
- Pac Man... the movie.
- Ninja turtles like porn.
- Webcam Girls Gone Wild.
- A non Chuck Norris fan.
- The best party of my life.
- Horny Asian lolita w/ iPod.
- Almost died playing WOW.
- People scaring each other.
- Puppy waking up. (AWWW)
- Sports heartache and pain.
- I bet she has a cup of crack.
- Playstation 3 looks awesome.
- Tom Cruise sure can dance.
- Midget porn is so much fun.
- You guys want some of this?
- It said FUCK OFF on TV. Yay.
- How did Jenna get Jameson?
- Not sure what the hell this is.
- Scientists created an artificial penis.
- This happened awhile ago, still funny.
- I wonder if these were "black brothers"?
- This page would be so much better if it was real women.
» I like peas
posted on 05/22/06 by Opie
Snorting wasabi is bad.
Gets him 11 life terms.
These kids have a bright future.
Assassination of Inejiro Asanuma (Not sure if posted before)
She is out for the count.
In your dreams..
A rich white man threw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors, including Leroy, the only black guy in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating BBQ and flirting with the women.
At the height of the party, the host said, "I came home from a business trip and I found a 10 foot alligator got in my pool and I can't find anybody who will come and take him away. I'd give a million dollars to anyone who would do the job!"
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! He was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Kung-Fu master.
The water was churning and splashing in the struggle.
Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the surface. He slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was staring in disbelief.
The host says, "Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."
"I don't want it," said Leroy, panting.
The rich man said, "Leroy, I have to give you something, you won the bet!"
So Leroy replied, "I would be satisfied if you gave me the name of whichever one of these white motherfuckers it was that pushed me in the pool."
- FFL -
- Oh, I like.
- Perfect titties.
- 4D stunt team.
- Porn clip for you.
- Where's the beer.
- Homer's Beer Run.
- Sex on the beach.
- Great ASIAN singer.
- Free hardcore videos.
- Because I got high...
- USB beverage chiller.
- W.O.W gone wrong...
- Barby (barbie) is bad.
- This is ugh.. Different.
- Pedophiles are stupid.
- I would pee in her butt.
- New X-men clip part 1.
- New X-men clip part 2.
- Jamie Lee Curtis fucked.
- A true stoner restaurant.
- Oh yeah, she's hot. Yep.
- Hybrid grizzly-polar bear.
- When Mike Tyson was cool...
- 11 years old and having a baby.
- I want to get my hair did there.
- This entertained me for to long.
- Britney and her baby, yet again..
- Cool explosions (videos) and stuff.
- So that's where Judy Winslow went.
- James Bond game, but with a bunny.
- Some of the hardest tackles in the NFL.
- Strictly for Ebay & bargain addicts only!
- Only scene worth watching in Wild Things.
- Fast & the Furious 3 ending spoiler. (Shopped)
- That would suck to find you're a chick. (Kind of)
» Friday short
posted on 05/19/06 by Opie
Loveplug, also being a huge dumbass.
Knocked out the old man.
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!
The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.
That's a concealed weapon.
Old but never posted here.
What a racist magazine.
Why is he doing that shoe?
- FFL -
- ORLY virus.
- Paula Abdul.
- Adriana Lima.
- She is naked.
- Halo 3 Trailer.
- Hardcore videos.
- Girl in the woods.
- I want some of this.
- 9/11 pentagon video.
- Hot babe in fruit orgy.
- Babies are like facets.
- Girl gets her ass kicked.
- Rehab at the Hard Rock.
- I think this is racist porn.
- Pretty gun shooting game.
- Menstrual blood paintings.
- Jamie King and whip cream.
- Doing a donut, then the cop.
- Colbert roasts President Bush.
- This girl has an awesome body.
- Not sure what the hell this is for.
- Watch 24! (Some other shows too)
- Jennifer Connelly's hottest nude scenes.
- Mary Jane arrested for drugs. (Seriously)
- Mounting a Lamborghini on his mansion wall.
- I think he even cried in a different language.
- In case you forgot about that dude with titties.
- Class - If you could kill anyone, who would it be?
posted on 05/17/06 by Opie
Who doesn't love the Carlton dance?
That ball didn't hit him... then the toss.
This bitch is weird.
Retarded people sure can get down
A man walks into a bar one afternoon and says to the manager, "I see your sign 'Piano player needed,' and I want you to know I'm your man.
I packed them in down there at the Cadillac Club until the IRS shut the place down.
Not only that, I write ALL my own material so you won't ever have to worry about paying royalties to ASCAP or BMI."
"You see the piano." said the manager, "Play me a tune."
The piano player rocked out with a boogie-woogie that had the manager stomping his feet.
"That was great," he said, "What do you call it?"
"I call it 'Let me Fuck you in the Ass Until your Hemorrhoids Bleed!'" said the pianist.
"Well," said the manager, "uh....that certainly is an unusual name for a song. Let's hear another one."
The piano player played a haunting melody that brought tears to the manager's eyes it was so beautiful. "What do you call that tune?" said the manager.
"I call it 'Open your Mouth Wide and Swallow it ALL When I Come.'" said the pianist.
The manager replied, "Your playing is great, and I'd like to hire you, but would you be terribly offended if I asked you not to announce the titles to your compositions?"
"Not at all," replied the pianist, "You pay, I'll play."
That evening, the crowd went wild when the piano player did his first set.
When they finally let him take a break, he rushed to the john for a long overdue piss.
On the way out, one of the patrons button-holed him and said, "Wow! you play great!! But tell me, do you know your fly's open and your penis is hanging out?"
"Know it? HELL...I wrote it!"
- FFL -
- KKK dogs.
- Stupid kid.
- Nice tanlines.
- That is shitty.
- Tittie bounce.
- Web cam chick.
- Cute french girl.
- She likes bears.
- Hot teen bikinis.
- Drinking old milk.
- This is just silly.
- Big ass chainsaw.
- PETA video. Hooray.
- Fun in the bathtub.
- Bush is never ready.
- Take it all off. Thanks.
- That was a nice slam.
- This isn't mean at all.
- This car has real bling.
- Flap the wings bitches.
- Check out this waitress.
- What to eat in the desert.
- Britney shouldn't be a mother.
- Some greatly edited cartoons.
- David Blaine can get the ladies.
- I think her fat swallow that bikini.
- Oh look Christina is a honkey again.
- Bear eating a monkey makes Headlines.
- Fountains at the Bellagio. (They are gay)
- This bitch is weird, with nice tits. (Kind of)
- Pink taco isn't bad unless they serve pussy.. cats.
- If this goes through a bottle of water will be 18 dollars.
- Chris Farley dead (pictures), because he was fucking stupid.
More stuff coming Friday too...