posted on 05/16/07 by Opie
Losing a shirt prank.
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class.
She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.
She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' ".
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?".
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: "Holy Shit! A talking chicken!".
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
Send yours here!
- FFL -
- Air sex.
- Kyra Kool.
- Nice facial.
- Pretty hot.
- Hug a hater.
- Mini Bill Cosby.
- Virtual catfight.
- Hellooo Jessica.
- MJ calls Sanjaya.
- The perfect ass.
- Maxim 100 2007!
- Must watch porn.
- Emergency Eatery.
- Want to be black?
- Creamy fruit chick.
- Balls Of Fury trailer.
- Watch TV on your PC.
- Celebrity tombstones.
- Is this a male a female?
- Coolaid the clown.. Yep.
- Never seen a car like this.
- Pirates of the Great Salt Lake.
- Take a look at these T-shirts!
- Two asses are better than one.
- Karate + Gymnastics = Gymkata.
- Where can I get one of these at?
- I would have this guy as my lawyer.
- Never seen a sexy mechanic before.
- Really hot chick being a cam whore.
- Pornstar has an emotional breakdown.
- Sleepless In Seattle, The horror movie.
- Stickman version of Spiderman. (Game)
- 10 things you've never seen in a webcam dance video.
» oh hells
posted on 05/14/07 by Opie
Q and A
Q: What do flamingos have in their front yards?
A: Plastic Mexicans.
Oh not again. (Legal threat)
Midget on cops.
What in the hell are these faggots doing?
I think this is old, but whatever.. (Funny stuff)
Lose weight in Photoshop.
Madonna still has a nice rack.
Start a fire with steel wool and a battery.
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
She's dressed in dirty jeans, a greasy T-shirt with holes in it and wearing worn out flip-flops exposing her cracked heels and filthy toenails.
When she yells at the kids, she exposes her yellowed, crooked teeth with more than a few missing.
The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"
The woman stops screaming long enough to say,
"Hell no they ain't!The oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the Hell would you think they're twins?
Do you really think they look alike?"
"No," replies the greeter, "But I just find it hard to believe that someone had sex with you twice."
- FFL -
- Sexy abs.
- $10 Tees.
- Fill her up!
- Bikini Babes.
- Naked lunch.
- Gisele is hot.
- Perfect chick.
- Ride that dick!
- She likes chocolate.
- I love sweaty Lyrca.
- Endless zombie game.
- Sneak Peak VS Angels.
- David Hasselhoff drunk.
- Return of sick wrestling.
- Sweet teen swallowing.
- Lindsay Lohan nipple slip.
- South Park Compilation.
- Drunk girls have all the fun.
- I give myself great handjobs.
- The answer is not always C.
- Watch out for this clever trojan.
- Black people will love pickles now.
- X-rated version of Addams Family.
- West Africans really love their cannibalism.
- Free blow-job! (I'd use a spam e-mail addy)
» Cheetos and Handjobs
posted on 05/11/07 by Opie
Q and A
Q: What is a crack head's favorite song?
A: I wanna rock!
Kid playing with a cobra.
How to get free chips.
Lizard Vs Rat!
Hypnotized chick has an orgasm on stage.
At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?" Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick ".
Aww.. Mini E-fan.
I knew it.
No wonder they're good.
Bruce Lee rules.
I guess it's a shadow of one on them.
Feeling left out?
Suppose to be art..
- FFL -
- Nice rack.
- Nice toys.
- This is weird.
- Ghetto Ninja.
- Suck my dick.
- All Ass, All News.
- Kermit is on drugs.
- For Star Wars fans.
- Hi girl that can't sing.
- Veronica.. Very nice.
- Check out these Tees!
- A new Derrick Comedy.
- Another addicting game.
- Gang initiation ceremony.
- What the hell is he doing?
- Wanna scare your friends?
- She wants more man juice.
- The original Wonder Woman.
- Busty babes at the autoshow.
- Spiderman for Wii looks awesome.
- Armless, one-legged man outruns cops.
- ASIAN attempting anal for the 1st time.
- A sperm donor has to pay child support?
- Lucy Pinder practically naked for the win.
- Girl gets fucked hard and takes a cumshot.
» hey, nothing.
posted on 05/09/07 by Opie
Q and A
Q: How come Mexico doesn't have a Navy?
A: Because card board doesn't float on water.
Goddamn that Seal.
A kid goes up to his father and asks, "Dad what is sex?"
His dad was afraid of this day for a while so he told his son to ask his grandmother.
He goes to his grandmother, who's husband has been gone for a long time now and asks, "Grammy, what is sex?"
She took him away, had sex with him, and he now knew what sex was.
The kid goes back to his father and tells him what happened.
His father screams, "YOU FUCKED MY MOM!"
The little boy screams back at him "NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!"
They both ran away crying...
Send yours here!
- FFL -
- Mini Mom.
- Dirty maid.
- Black booty.
- Live sex cams.
- I like long hair.
- Techno tease.
- Webcam sinner.
- Elisha Cuthbert.
- Latina Mamacita.
- It's shower time.
- Some more Heidi Klum.
- Free DVD quality porn.
- World of Warcraft Cops.
- Hello lawsuit on hospital.
- How to block the cock block.
- Forbes most expensive weed.
- Take a look at these T-shirts!
- The twins between the snake.
- Crazy bitch sucks and swallows.
- The dangers of double penetration.
- Perez Hilton vs. Superficial Friends.
- Why cover those with your hands?
- How to satisfy a chick in 60 seconds.
- Learn the alphabet with Patrick Stewart.
- Snake vs Goat. (With black commentators)
- I love how black start running laps when excited.
- Protect the planet by shooting ships with large bbs.
posted on 05/07/07 by Opie
Glad everyone enjoyed "The Green Dress Girl". I have admit I feel sorry for her now... Just kidding.
In case you missed it Friday, Here it be.
Anyway just some jokes and FFL today because I drank myself retarded this weekend.
Also don't forget about the Daily features over there --->
Q and A
Q: What's the definition of worthless?
A: 7 ft tall black man who can't play basketball.
50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of ''It''s a Small World'' incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you''re on rough seas.
7. Shave. (Especially if you''re a woman.)
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, "Admiral".
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I''ve got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now. Damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious literature to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You''re one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do," and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it''s getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"
- FFL -
- Good lawd!
- Lesbian fun.
- Married life.
- Nice outfit.
- Sexy blonde.
- Beach babes.
- Super Sparta.
- Hellooo Holly.
- Nice cock tease.
- Tattoo removal.
- Wonder Women.
- This plant is crazy.
- Do it for the booty.
- Cool tornado video.
- Mario.. Game Over.
- Rush Hour 3 trailer.
- Blonde on blonde action.
- Tiger Woods farted on TV.
- I have a rubber fetish now.
- Want to see great T-shirts?
- Family Guy vs Street Fighter
- Pornstar slut wants more $$$.
- Bruce Willis drunk at a Mets game.
- 50 cent vs Thomas the tank engine.
- Jessica Simpson shows her cleavage.
- I guess some sharks had a good feast.
- Musicians unlock mystery melody in chapel.
- You are the sun and you burn everyone up.
- Jesus wouldn't be reincarnated as a faggot. (He would be black)
posted on 05/04/07 by Opie
Q and A
Q: How do you stop a clown from smiling?
A: Hit it in the face with an axe.
Rhino Vs Zebra!
This guy can fight in real life.
The most movement Hawking will ever do.
He is very sneaky.
De La Hoya saying what will happen.
I want to build a dinosaur!
Shake it baby!
The Green Dress Girl
Click the image for the photoshop gallery, thanks to EF (forums).
In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.
Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong... I can't feel my legs!
Doctor: Yes, we've had to amputate both your arms.
Oh and Britney Spears topless?
Looks like her..
- FFL -
- $10 tees.
- PS3 Elite!
- No mistake.
- Bipolar baby.
- Handy subtitles.
- Teenage tease.
- Wonder women!
- Fly by wire sport.
- I'd help her rub that.
- Rachel Bilson fucked.
- Webcam cutie Jamie.
- Whore fucking a car.
- Who likes High heels?
- His wife was a goat..?
- A site for limp noodles.
- Sisters in suck action.
- HD-DVD processing key.
- Galilea Montijo is a hottie.
- Bus slams into front of store.
- Some new Yucko the Clown.
- Girls at the Playboy mansion.
- Two guys boning a cute teen.
- Nothing better than a thick ass.
- Psycho crashes German sex party.
- Green Dress Girl has a myspace too.
- Cartoons and porn are a great combination.
- CS map of his school.. uh oh. And he's ASIAN!
- "From Africa" would be a better name for AIDS.
- 18yo amateur schoolgirl getting dirty on her webcam.
- Got Vista and can't view videos? I'll add this to my page soon.
» daily spank
posted on 05/02/07 by Opie
This bitch is crazy.
Extreme waxing of the twat. Yes, I said twat.
A man was in a long line at his local Tesco store. As he got to the check out he realised he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.
She asked, "What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did.
She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, "One box of large condoms, Checkout 5."
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill.
When he got up to the check out, he told the girl that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the check out for him.
She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did.
She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Checkout 5."
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the check out he told the girl he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did.
She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the intercom and said.................
"Mop and bucket to Checkout 5".
Send yours here!
- FFL -
- Hot Palmy.
- Size Matters.
- Miranda Kerr.
- Go Go Gadget.
- Quick Orgasm.
- Vintage shirts.
- Oh that Arnold!
- Anna Nicole Smurf.
- Heeeey You're Gay!
- The voice of Pikachu.
- Some math sex jokes.
- More girls making out.
- I like her naked outfit.
- MILK sucking that root.
- Lube + Hot chick = fun.
- Another good 300 parody.
- Undies worth getting into.
- Extra "work" at the office.
- Even zombies like to fuck.
- Really awesome sculptures.
- Sexy girl in a sucking orgy.
- This is an odd fighting game.
- Keeley Hazell lingerie pictures.
- I'd watch the weather for this.
- Murder in Brazil caught on tape.
- Gay dude doing "Gospel Aerobics".
- Apparently this is the best car ever.
- I beat these guys had sex after this.
- Oh look it's the Green dress girl again.
- Another "Dear Sister" spoof with Lost.
- Must be some new fire department porn.
- Dog dancing to Indian music or something.
- Ass Face - Something stinks on Capitol Hill.
- Pam Anderson Baywatch hotties and video.
- This girl is 15 and already appears to be a whore.
Note to Green dress girl: Forum members have been doing some fun stuff to your picture.