» Weekend fun.
posted on 08/28/04
I guess she doesn't understand.
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their
local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board,
of the 10 most wanted men.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the
photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly."
So Little Johnny asked, "Why the fuck didn't you keep him when you took
A man and a woman are in divorce court fighting over custody of their children.
The Judge can't be swayed either way so he decides to give each of them
a minute to give their best argument as to why they should be given custody.
The woman starts and says to the Judge: "Your Honor, I carried those children
for the 9 month pregnancy. Then I went through the pains of labor to bring
them into this world. I should be given custody because of that."
The man stands up to speak and says: "Your Honor, if I put a dollar bill
into a soda machine and out pops a soda, Who's soda is it? Mine or the machine's?"
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by
writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,"
and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against
a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for
his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Two guys are sitting on a plane. Both have a black eye.
One guy leans over and asks the other guy how he got his black eye.
He goes "well, it was sort of a mixup of words, I was at the ticket counter
and the ticket lady was hot as hell with some big tits. So instead of asking
for a pair of tickets for the cities, I ask for a pair of pickets for those
titties. Then she socked me".
So then he asks the other guy how he got his black eye, he replies, "I was
eating breakfast with my wife and instead of telling her to pass the oat
bran, I said 'you ruined my life you fucking dumb bitch'."
That's showing her.
That white music features Celine Dion
I love the Panthers.
Yep, it's a blond.
Hey now Ms Spears, I'm trying to shit.
Can you spot the gay in this picture?
I'd eat it!
I use to have McDonalds parties.
She's got legs and she...
What else do you need?
- FFL -
don't get it.
like a ho.
- Wizzle, Yo
girls are hot.
for the blind.
is a fake?
yeah, I'd pay for it.
chick is hot as hell
a dumbass driver.
your own sex toys.
of porn right here.
couple to be married.
kids are really stupid.
more raping white girls.
you like sausage pizza?
I was even gagging.
Quayle speech outtakes.
cool Pontiac commercial.
- Don't know why,
but this is cool.
he missed the money shot!
the fuck kind of gallery is this?
take signing lessons for 400 Alex.
article from a dumbass parent.
is for you cat fans. (HUGE SARCASM)
mail this bitch some toothpaste.
guy should be in a mental institution.
- You guys
hear about the Dave Matthews shit fest?
- Oh dear
god.. Pictures of a sex change. (Very graphic)
- I would
hate to come across this dude in da streets.
- If you get
naked I'm sure you'll get a lot of money.. whore.
girl is fucking crazy. Hit it, then run. (Click the mirror links until you
find a working one)
Site will be done next week!
» I watch a lot of ABC Family
posted on 08/24/04 by Opie
HOLY FUCK! (Graphic)
Lou Costello Tries to Buy a Computer from Bud Abbott
apologies to" Who's on First.........")
(behind the counter at: Super Duper computer store): Can
I help you?
Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
No, the name's Lou.
I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
I told you, my name's Lou.
What about Windows?
Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
Do you want a computer with Windows?
I don't know. What will I see! when I look in the windows?
Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Software for Windows?
No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
I just did.
You just did what?
You recommended something?
For my office?
OK, what did you recommend for my office?
Yes, for my office!
I recommend Office with Windows.
I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just
say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a my proposal. What do
Word in Office.
The only word in office is office.
The Word in Office for Windows.
Which word in office for windows?
The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with
some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
Yes, you want Real One.
Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none
of your business. Just tell me what I need!
If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2. 3 & 4. Can
I watch them?
Great, with what?
OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What
do I do?
You click the blue "1."
I click the blue one what?
The blue "1."
Is that different from the blue "W"?
The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
The Word in Office for Windows.
But there's three words in "office for windows!"
No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left.
It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
And that word is real one?
Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even
part of Office.
Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping,
you have anything I can track my money with?
That's right. What do you have?
I need money to track my money?
It comes bundled with your computer.
What's bundled to my computer?
Money comes with my computer?
Yes. No extra charge.
I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Isn't it illegal to copy money?
Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
They can give you a license to copy money?
Why not? THEY OWN IT!
How do I turn my computer off??
Click on "START".........
It could go on.... haha
Motorcycle crashes are deadly. (Graphic, you pussy)
What the hell?
- FFL -
sad is this?
a gay please.
- ABC puzzle game.
girls and stuff.
em' get naked!
- Live air traffic
- Goddamn that
R Kelly Sr.
out all the courses.
baby! Check this out.
Asian cop is bad-ass!
more of that chick.
but fun invisibility game.
scared of the Internet now.
sure what the point of this is.
posted one of these before, but here's more!
what your dumb name looks like in Egyptian hieroglyphics.
» Ok! You like to see homos
posted on 08/23/04 by Opie
This is why post have been weak lately....
Holy shit it's Batman!
The person driving is 15.
From the submit page:
"You are some stupid fucks... I f I caught u do that shit to a beaver I
would KICK YOUR ASS COCKSUCKERS"
Apparently he thinks us (just me) killed the beaver.I must
say, this is way I hate ignorant people.
"do you really hate niggas?"
Yet another dumbass that doesn't seem to get this site.
Not chocolate. (Since she's Asian and all..)
He has a pair.
Sucks for him.
I guess I need to start watching..
Where's that jew going?
A fantastic game to play at church!!!!!
Hmmm.. I want more dirt porn.
I want some good titties in that shirt.
He did this with a knife.
Wheels on the track go...
Looks good eh?
, and Shocker
- FFL -
- Spot the Virgin.
- Cool crashin' video.
look Ass jewelry.
Pizza place sucks.
read the headline.
- This bitch
has as implants.
That equals bad-ass.
curse? Get a real job hippy.
- Stupid invention.
Four thumbs down.
dead God.. It's a retard!!!!!! hahaha
spiderwalk.. I can do that shit.
you watch it a few times, you'll laugh.
- Racism over the
Internet is getting bigger.
that's just nasty and very unsanitary.
the fuck, you people are weirder than me.
snap! Somebody got caught. (Click the "Next" link for more dummy.)
seriously hate this fucking song. (The clubs don't.. You know what I'm talking
» Hey sweeties!!
on 08/19/04 by Opie
Just figured I'd say thanks to those that have been patient with the less
post a week. It will all be worth it though, with some help from some forum
members the layout itself is almost done. I just have to change a few things
and add all the new stuff I've been wanting to add.
Should be done next week, but I'm not sure yet...
What would make someone even think about this?
[sexor] I went shopping last night at like 1am. the place was empty, and
this old woman, just making polite convertation, said to me: "where is everyone??".
[sexor] I replied: "In bed, same place you and I should be!"
[sexor] Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look
Drugs are fun!
I'd hit it.
Must be a new caption trend.
Yes, he is.
My god, look at those titties.
Happy birthday baby.
Fun with movie posters.
Girls peeing outside is funny for some reason.
That looks like fun!
I think he ate some glue.
Nipples at the Olympics!
Damn that ugly tree died.
Four guys are standing on top of a tall building. One black man, one oriental
man, one white man, and one indian man (native american).
The oriental man yells "This is for my people!" and jumps off.
The black man goes "This is for my people!" and jumps off.
The indian man yells "This is for my people!" and pushes the white man off.
- FFL -
like the pun there.
- Jaws in 30 seconds.
- Tons of images off IRC.
boobs and nasty.
- Lets all go do
That bitch cut me.
a nerd convention. Yay.
the hell is this about?
doubt she's really a soldier.
- Half ASIAN.. Half Gorilla.
- Aww a classic site.
(Gay alert haha)
Chick's Tongue in my mouth.
cool would it be to fuck in there?
swear, this is so goddamn retarded.
figure.. Check out his friends haha.
gave her the sex-pet-name of "Lefty".
sucks my left nut.. Wait a second..
already knew most of these, because I'm cool.
They should of shot the guy recording this.
can't be good. Somebody casted a spell on him.
knew that is was good for my penis.. This is not news.
whales attack a dumbass. No, he's not black either.
previews of cam girls. (Don't sign up or anything, just watch)
Now since this is the Internet, you should know it's staged.
Check out the first image. What a tease, but now you're famous ON THE INTERNET!!!!