Entensity.net - Updated Daily

� Weekend fun. posted on 08/28/04 by Opie

I guess she doesn't understand.
JOKES!

#1 Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly."

So Little Johnny asked, "Why the fuck didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

#2

A man and a woman are in divorce court fighting over custody of their children. The Judge can't be swayed either way so he decides to give each of them a minute to give their best argument as to why they should be given custody.

The woman starts and says to the Judge: "Your Honor, I carried those children for the 9 month pregnancy. Then I went through the pains of labor to bring them into this world. I should be given custody because of that."

The man stands up to speak and says: "Your Honor, if I put a dollar bill into a soda machine and out pops a soda, Who's soda is it? Mine or the machine's?"

#3

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."

#4

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

#5

Two guys are sitting on a plane. Both have a black eye.

One guy leans over and asks the other guy how he got his black eye.

He goes "well, it was sort of a mixup of words, I was at the ticket counter and the ticket lady was hot as hell with some big tits. So instead of asking for a pair of tickets for the cities, I ask for a pair of pickets for those titties. Then she socked me".

So then he asks the other guy how he got his black eye, he replies, "I was eating breakfast with my wife and instead of telling her to pass the oat bran, I said 'you ruined my life you fucking dumb bitch'."

IMAGES!!!!

That's showing her.

That white music features Celine Dion

I love the Panthers.

Yep, it's a blond.

Hey now Ms Spears, I'm trying to shit.

Yikes!

Goddamn computer.

Can you spot the gay in this picture?

I'd eat it!

I use to have McDonalds parties.

Pimp.

Train won.

She's got legs and she...

What else do you need?
- FFL -

- Here ya go.
- I don't get it.
- Dress like a ho.
- Wizzle, Yo Bizzle.
- Reef girls are hot.
- Porn for the blind.
- Enrique is a fake?
- Crayola goes racist!
- Hell yeah, I'd pay for it.
- This chick is hot as hell
- What a dumbass driver.
- Make your own sex toys.
- Tons of porn right here.
- Dead couple to be married.
- Some kids are really stupid.
- No more raping white girls.
- Do you like sausage pizza?
- Goddamn, I was even gagging.
- Dan Quayle speech outtakes.
- Pretty cool Pontiac commercial.
- Don't know why, but this is cool.
- OOPS, he missed the money shot!
- What the fuck kind of gallery is this?
- I'll take signing lessons for 400 Alex.
- Classic article from a dumbass parent.
- This is for you cat fans. (HUGE SARCASM)
- Someone mail this bitch some toothpaste.
- This guy should be in a mental institution.
- You guys hear about the Dave Matthews shit fest?
- Oh dear god.. Pictures of a sex change. (Very graphic)
- I would hate to come across this dude in da streets.
- If you get naked I'm sure you'll get a lot of money.. whore.
- This girl is fucking crazy. Hit it, then run. (Click the mirror links until you find a working one)

Site will be done next week!

Post Archives

� I watch a lot of ABC Family posted on 08/24/04 by Opie

HOLY FUCK! (Graphic)
Lou Costello Tries to Buy a Computer from Bud Abbott (with apologies to" Who's on First.........")

ABBOTT: (behind the counter at: Super Duper computer store): Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see! when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a my proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2. 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great, with what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue "1."
!
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows!"

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping, you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??

ABBOTT: Click on "START".........

It could go on.... haha

IMAGES!!!

Go Kerry.

Motorcycle crashes are deadly. (Graphic, you pussy)

What the hell?
- FFL -

- R Kelly style.
- How sad is this?
- 3D TITTIES!!!!!!
- Olympic Babes.
- Side a gay please.
- Saddam shop fun.
- ABC puzzle game.
- Damn, bad daddy.
- That looks painful.
- Deep Sea Creatures.
- Cam girls and stuff.
- Make em' get naked!
- Dirty Sanchez rules.
- Live air traffic monitor.
- Goddamn that R Kelly Sr.
- Check out all the courses.
- Hey baby! Check this out.
- This Asian cop is bad-ass!
- Here's more of that chick.
- Hard, but fun invisibility game.
- I'm scared of the Internet now.
- Not sure what the point of this is.
- I've posted one of these before, but here's more!
- See what your dumb name looks like in Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Post Archives

� Ok! You like to see homos naked.. posted on 08/23/04 by Opie

This is why post have been weak lately....

Holy shit it's Batman!

The person driving is 15.
Funny E-mails:

From the submit page:

"You are some stupid fucks... I f I caught u do that shit to a beaver I would KICK YOUR ASS COCKSUCKERS"

Apparently he thinks us (just me) killed the beaver.I must say, this is way I hate ignorant people.

From dolfonb@unitedaerodynamics.com

"do you really hate niggas?"

Yet another dumbass that doesn't seem to get this site.

Not chocolate. (Since she's Asian and all..)

He has a pair.

Sucks for him.

I guess I need to start watching..

Paintjob.

Where's that jew going?

A fantastic game to play at church!!!!!

Hmmm.. I want more dirt porn.

I want some good titties in that shirt.

He did this with a knife.

Wheels on the track go...

Looks good eh?

Hey Tom.
Plugs: Dirty Downloads, Crazy Boner, and Shocker

- FFL -

- Female huh?
- Spot the Virgin.
- Cool crashin' video.
- Oh look Ass jewelry.
- This Pizza place sucks.
- Just read the headline.
- Photoshopin Celebrities.
- This bitch has as implants.
- 0-100mph-0.. That equals bad-ass.
- Exorcist curse? Get a real job hippy.
- Stupid invention. Four thumbs down.
- Oh dead God.. It's a retard!!!!!! hahaha
- Exorcist spiderwalk.. I can do that shit.
- If you watch it a few times, you'll laugh.
- Racism over the Internet is getting bigger.
- Now that's just nasty and very unsanitary.
- What the fuck, you people are weirder than me.
- Oh snap! Somebody got caught. (Click the "Next" link for more dummy.)
- I seriously hate this fucking song. (The clubs don't.. You know what I'm talking about)

Post Archives

� Hey sweeties!! posted on 08/19/04 by Opie

Just figured I'd say thanks to those that have been patient with the less post a week. It will all be worth it though, with some help from some forum members the layout itself is almost done. I just have to change a few things and add all the new stuff I've been wanting to add.

Should be done next week, but I'm not sure yet...

What would make someone even think about this?
Log:

[sexor] I went shopping last night at like 1am. the place was empty, and this old woman, just making polite convertation, said to me: "where is everyone??".
[sexor] I replied: "In bed, same place you and I should be!"
[sexor] Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look