Entensity.net - Updated Daily

� Ever just pee your pants for fun? posted on 02/25/05 by Opie

EDIT Looks like Fred Durst's cellphone was hacked too.

Oh and the next post will be on the 1st. (Since everything this month will be archived)

With me it's Britney Spears and Ricky Martin.

She doesn't seem to bright anyway.

DAMN N.. What a second...

DAMN NIGGA! It never fails..
JOKE!

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.

So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Let there be more IMAGES

They should have just got a Superbowl slot.

He gets the joke.

Did she shit on herself or what?..

Creative knife holder.

I bet it's name is lefty.

Can also be used for..

One of the funnier pictures.. haha.

No witty comment needed.

Damn that Pope.. (SHIT!.. Goddamn lighting)

Wang snack.
- FFL -

- Holy Crap.
- Grid game.
- Hot naked girl!
- Resident Evil game.
- Cyclops baby born!
- Funny I, Robot spoof.
- Bad-ass tennis court.
- Very cool skiing game.
- Check out this hernia.
- Trailer for Deuce Bigalow 2!
- Denise Richards in lingerie.
- Pick the blonde or brunette?
- Drunk girl flashing her titties.
- House of Cosbys? What the...
- HAHAHA He called the shit poo!
- Lesbians cheat on each other?
- Kenny Rogers fans? Just kidding.
- This art painting made me laugh.
- This game should keep you busy.
- Check out these funny prank calls.
- Video of one of those huge burgers.
- Some of the best pictures on eBay.
- Anyone needs some great hosting?
- Holy fuck this black dude is part horse.
- Some girls are nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.
- Why would a hot girl need a blowup dude?
- Paintballs and thredmill go great together.
- This guy argues with his girlfriend too much.
- Remember that guy that puked on Live TV?
- Sticky notes and Super Mario on glass is cool.
- Huge Star Wars 3 spoilers. (Images included)
- Mirror of the GGW W.O.W clip from a last week.
- World's fastest knife. I'll wait for the gun version.
- A chick with big muscles and a large clit/small penis.
- Her ass is weird looking and she's a bit crazy. Run away.
- Great way to keep dogs from eating the furniture. (If dogs had fillings)

P.S I decided to wait until next week to post the EX/current girlfriend pictures submitted. If you want to get into the next post send those suckas here.

Post Archives

� Reading Rainbow posted on 02/23/05 by Opie

I personally jacked off to this one. Just kidding.. (OK I'm not)
Plug: Sign up, complete 1 trial offer (RealRhapsody, Video Professor, and eFax are FREE and EZ to do), refer some friends to do the same and you get a badass Computer. 100% Legit!

IMAGES!

I guess that would be the short bus. Idiot.

DAMN NIGGA!

A lot of blow.

Call me crazy, but does he need those lift boots?

Thursday is going to be a sticky day.

I re-wrote the Ninja turtle theme song:
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Teenage mutant ninja niggers
Teenage mutant ninja niggers
Teenage mutant ninja niggers
and a jew in a half shell, WHITE POWER
They're the worlds most fearsome fighting jews
[ we're really nazis ] Teenage mutant ninja niggers
They're jews in a half shell and they're black
[ hey, suck a dick ] Teenage mutant ninja niggers
When the evil Hitler attacks
These nigger boys don't cut him no slack
Teenage mutant ninja niggers
Teenage mutant ninja niggers
Al Gore taught them to be ninja jews
[ he's a dumbass rat ] Teenage mutant ninja niggers
Leroy leads, Coon ta ki ta does machines
[ that's a fact, bitch ] Teenage mutant ninja niggers
La shonda is COOL but rude
Then there's that stupid jew
Teenage mutant ninja niggers
Teenage mutant ninja niggers
Teenage mutant ninja niggers
and a jew in a half shell, WHITE POWER

If you think about it.. The original song is racist too, you know with all that "TURTLE POWER" shit.

P.S. The above was just a joke. Typed up by a retarded immature idiot. (Me) It doesn't even make sense, right?

JOKE!

A man entered his favorite restaurant and sat at his regular table. After looking around, he noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby all alone. He motioned the waiter over and asked him to send their most expensive bottle of Merlot over to the woman, knowing that if she accepted the bottle, she would be his.

The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender. She regarded the wine, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants". After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return this to the woman. It read:

"For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off.

Just send the bottle back bitch."

- FFL -

- Avoid the walls.
- Butt train USA!
- Who likes lingerie?
- Rockets are cool.
- Funny pranks calls.
- This ASIAN is crazy.
- Her first anal. Awww.
- Wanna get laid tonight?
- Haha nice driving dude.
- I think she was faking it.
- She likes the nice hospital.
- Another very cool drawing.
- He's got crabs. Or just one.
- Josh Smith does a great dunk.
- A drug to prolong drunkeness?
- New Durex ultra thin condoms.
- Possibly the dumbest site ever.
- "Nigga my man will beat yo ass!"
- Everybody likes cam girls right?
- Anyone remember this Geico ad?
- Bust as many balloons as you can.
- It's not cool to fake being a lesbian.
- Goddamn this game is pissing me off.
- Horrible music, hot girls in the video.
- OK girls, enough with hurting the weiner.
- A lot of flash movies for ya to check out.
- I can't believe anyone would wear this shit.
- Don't watch this if you're high on something.
- This is an awesome movie trailer. Check it out.
- Glad the guy taking the pictures wasn't hurt.
- Guy beer bongs a pint of Jack. I call bullshit.
- I like this body paint stuff. (3 pages at the top)
- WOW, a wrestler without any legs. Ankle lock!
- Planes shot down people these people. Crazy.
- Spock gets freaky with some hot young ladies.
- Yeah, I'd rather pay more for a preowned copy.
- Very stupid flash, probably why it's posted here.
- In case you still haven't seen Ms. Nicole's titties.
- This ebay auction actually got a laugh out of me.

Post Archives

� OK listen. I don't want to make sex... posted on 02/21/05 by Opie

Note: I'm on vacation this week, so post wont have as much as they normally do. So save your bitchy e-mails

This guy is great. Everyone should laugh at this.

Best commercial ever.
The Paris Hilton phone thingy (Hacked)

Story: Paris Hilton's cell phone hacked! (Click the image for the pics)

Story: New bugs bunny? No.
QUICK JOKE!

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.

The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

Few more images?

DAMN NIGGA!

Speaks for itself.

Bigger balls than me? No... OK, yes.

Nothing better to do huh?

Either shit or blood. Huggies bitch.
- FFL -

- Italian Babe.
- Schweeeeett!
- Gamers are funny.
- Hairy girls are sexy.
- 50 Cent Inferno video.
- Lots of girls at the beach!
- I like these flying games.
- True hotties at your door.
- Cheerleader girl getting off.
- Top 10 Dumb criminal acts.
- I knew that tittie was fake.
- Old school Paris Hilton picture.
- Maryland vs. Duke riot pictures.
- Now this is fucking base-jumping.
- OK, What the hell.. Disney porn?
- Two heads a re better than one.
- Clowns are crazy anyway, but this?
- Funny Reno 911 clip. (The dog one)
- Paris Hilton acting in a new Horror movie?
- Check out these painted soccer chicks.
- Women Sue Over Gorilla's Breast 'Fetish'.
- What a great new fragrance to hit the stores.
- Strippers... uh stripping and making out on a pole.
- Amazing Office Space meets Super Friends Video!
- Great drawing in paint. (Make it speed up on the left)

Post Archives

� < insert witty subject > posted on 02/18/05 by Opie

He's no Peter Pan.

Funny commercial.

Snoop gets hit by a bottle.

TITTAS! No sound, except something I added.

He can do the yo yo thing good, but why the thong?
Story behind this picture:

"One of my roommates refused to help me clear off the driveway last month. So, I stuck enough snow under his car that when he went to go to work the next morning he'd have to dig his car out. Turns out that his battery froze because of it and he was 4 hours late."

More images..

Read what it says.

Cheese grader?

Big ass Liger.

Linkin Park sucks now.

$10? Damn that's cheap.

Unless that's an "A" I dunno what she did. (Someone translate)
Update: "She committed murder. Second line's her name"

I'm going to invent a string tucker.

That's "The Game" from G-Unit.

Crazy ASIANS.

Children of the Corn?
JOKE!

A Chinese guy walks into a bar and orders a drink.

"Hey nigga!" he yells to the black bartender "get me a beer!"

The bartender walks over. "What did you say to me?"

"You heard me the first time nigga, I said get me a beer!"

So the black bartender says "You know, that ain't right man. How'd you like it if I walked in and treated you like that?"

So, they agree to trade places and test the black bartenders theory.

The black guy walks in, sits down and shouts "Hey Chink, get me a drink"

The Chinese bartender walks over and says "I'm sorry, we don't server nigga's in here".

- FFL -

- LSD style chess.
- Sex or Ice cream?
- What a shitty shirt.
- Camgirl fans go here.
- Fun helicopter game.
- Wonders of the penis.
- Dumbass burglar alert!
- Hot American Idol girl.
- Get the ball in the box.
- Kung-FU Porn! (Top left)
- True hotties at your door
- A site with info on drugs.
- Shower? That sounds wet!
- You can't kidnap fat people.
- Train runs right through a semi!
- Life on Mars. This site is crazy.
- More of those Jesus captions.
- Find yourself a date you loser!
- Christian Rap is the Shit! Haha
- GTA considered "murder training".
- She may need those teeth back.
- Rabbits lived 55 million years ago?
- Brave little dog and a big lion. (Sex)
- 6 legged frog in China.. HOP AWAY!
- What the hell kind of cartoon is this?
- Some idiots will take this story serious.
- DRINK THE JUICE! (Wait for the ending)
- W.O.W clip from two weeks ago mirrored.
- That stupid singing fat kid made it on TV.
- This fucking pinball game will just piss you off.
- If you notice the Jamster Frog has a small penis.
- Microsoft comes of with a leetspeak program. Sad.
- What is a 72 year old being a bus driver for anyway?
- Check out what type of animals you can actually buy.
- Now I wonder how many of you will go buy a tarp now.

P.S Don't forget to send those EX or current girlfriend pictures if you want them posted next week.

(If she's 18+) Send them over to submit@entensity.net

Thanks!

Post Archives

� Hi. posted on 02/16/05 by Opie

W.O.W = You guys like lesbians?
JOKE!

Michael invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Michael's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Michael and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Michael and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Michael volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Joanne and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Joanne came to Michael and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Joanne said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Joanne, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Joanne. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

The other videos?

White girl dance lessons.

Drugs aren't good ya speed-head.

You'll just have to watch this one.

She's in the wrong business.
Something retarded.. ta da

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

The answer is at the end of this post

On your mark, get set, IMAGES!

DAMN NIGGA!

Yay for Hilary.

Good idea.

I'd rather see titties.

Every guy is a pervert. I have trophies.

This pissed a few of you off huh?

Where's the wheelchair. OOPS.

Not sure what's going on here.

Let's all go to hell.
- FFL -

- Pimp my tank!
- Hacking game.
- Godaddy rip-off?
- DeNiro is on the case!
- Well, this is different.
- How's it going Mr. Poo?
- Practice makes perfect.
- Jaw-Dropping Video Clips.
- Good-bye to his computer.
- Surfs up! Oh and girls too.
- Weird girls that are fat rule.
- Sexy, naked and wild babes!
- Fuck abstinence you faggots.
- Michael Jackson split screen.
- I need some of this drug! (Illy)
- Dennis Rodman doesn't like fur.
- Adult fantasy resort? Sign me up.
- Holy shit! Look at this retarded pig.
- Somebody painted on a Bush statue.
- Something you don't see everyday.
- So maybe cats don't feel it? Meow.
- Here's some more of Ms. Ewa Sonnet.
- Haha, this little guy fucks everything.
- Any of you girls ever try a curling iron?
- It will be OK.. We'll still have Bruce Willis.
- This kid must be the devil or something.
- This porn clip looks a little too tranny to me.
- Corporate Ladder game. (Like Donkey Kong)
- Would be even funnier if this guy was black.
- FREE whack off juice! (Sample of Astroglide).
- "That holes only for niggers too" This girl rules!
- Well, here's a nice story about cancer. No joke.
- I wonder if that eyeball cleaning lady would like this?
- If the another paris tape is out, I'm sure it will be here!
- Name her baby for 2mil. On another note, COME ONNNNN TITTIE!
- I sure hope he doesn't die. That would be awful for all the children.
- Oh hell, Here's the ASIAN version of that ri[goddamn]diculous song.
- Funny, I know someone that did this to her EX. I probably shouldn't have typed that. haha

^ Answer to the retarded thing above ^

He opens his mouth and says, "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses".

Post Archives

� Doogie Howser, M.D posted on 02/14/05 by Opie

Click here if todays post title made you wet.

Somebody needs some training wheels.

Haha.. Black people are too funny in "flicks" as they call it.

Good clip from a stupid show.
V-day

Jacked from the Funnies section

Awww.. Isn't that sweet.
JOKE!

A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fucking checking account"

To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?"

"Listen damnit, I said I want to open a fuckin' checking account right now."

"I'm sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!"

The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem," the man said, "I just won 100 million bucks in the lottery and I want to open a fuckin' checking account at this damn bank!"

"I see sir," the manager said, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"

Boot

Step 1.. Realize it's a shitty day.

Step 2.. Take more pictures for the INTERNET.

Step 3.. Success!
Story:

"O.K. here's the story. Last night I was trying to sleep, just tossing and turning and couldn't stop thinking about this damn thing. "What am I going to do!?!?!" I search the net for a good couple of hours not really finding what I needed. I didn't even know what the damn thing was called so at about 1:30 a.m. I got my ass up and took a pencil and paper over there to get a better look at the damn thing and write some info down about it. (When I first discovered it on there I was so pissed I just left and didn't even inspect it) I wrote down a few things like the name of it, ect...

Then I wanted to get a good look at the rod that went through the tire. I looked at the inside of the wheel and noticed there wasn't a rod that went through at all...just a hook that grabbed the inside of the rim. SWEET!!! or so I thought. I reach around and grab that big circular pad and pulled it back a bit, and it felt like it could just slip right off...no go, almost, but no matter how hard I pulled the shit it wouldn't budge!

BUT...i had an idea. I needed a buddy to help.

I could pull the pad away just far enough to get OEM lug wrench in there and unbolt the rim from the hub!!!! TAH DAH!!!!!!"

No images here

The stick poking made this image.

Damn Nigga! YAY.

Story with this DAMN NIGGA! picture.

Leave it to the guys over at SA. Haha.

Anyone have a lighter?

A giant penis is taking over the US.

How to tell if someone is gay.

He's a biter.

What's a guy with a Benz doing on AOL anyway?

No pain.

Hmmm.
- FFL -

- Deer vs Trains.
- Lindsay Lohan.
- Like a sea of STDS.
- Pop goes the implant.
- Star Wars nerds pictures.
- Girls kissing is always fun.
- Good place to hide some nuts.
- A different Valentines Day video.
- Seinfeld fans might enjoy this.
- Angelina Jolie is a Home wrecka
- Great Virgin mobile commercial.
- Failed drug test with fake penis.
- Outtakes from a few Pixar movies.
- Undersea hotel resorts. Fuck that.
- Thongs, bikinis, short skirts and more.
- They have .co.ck domain names now.
- Oh dear god. That's hard to swallow.
- Easy bake oven... For your computer.
- I didn't know people still put up posters.
- Open directory of.. You guessed it. Porn.
- And I thought fat porn was gross as it is.
- Sexual Harassment.. Well worth a repost.
- Even though this is an old story, still funny.
- Sponge Bob like you have never seen before.
- Tsunami Cartoons. (Yeah, offensive to some)
- Pretty good blonde joke, not the best though.
- Move the boxes to the dots. Another time killer.
- More of those comics. (The Man with no Penis)
- This bitch came straight from the Discovery channel.
- I love it when these porn girls make fools of themselves.
- Build a tower better than the computer. Pretty addicting.
- Good thing black people wait like a month to bury the dead.
- A stupid kid mistakes parents having sex for abuse. He shot his Dad.
- VERY GRAPHIC video of animals being skinned alive. Fucked up with the dogs.

Post Archives

� Why do they have sidewalks in the ghetto? posted on 02/11/05 by Opie

Stop crying I'm sure he survived.

Unless you put a dog in front of him. GRR.

Just wait until the end.

All girls should remove their shirt like this.

I think this goat has narcolepsy.

You gonna answer that?
Plug: Sign up, complete a free offer (Bargain.com, eFax Plus, and RealRhapsody are all free and easy), refer some friends to do the same and get a free laptop or $1,000.

Fan stuff Finally got around to posting this

Drunk around friends is fun.

He's ASIAN and put a Nazi sign on her. FUN-NAY.

Er.. Looks fake, but still worthy.

Fan stuff is always great. Send more here.
JOKE!

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.

So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant, and she preceded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us, "said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"

"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?"

Let there be IMAGES!!!