Entensity.net - Updated Daily

� You're dreaming. posted on 03/15/05 by Opie

Hang Gliding fall. He sure does stay calm.

Call me crazy, but I think a retard is driving. (You'll see)

Dumbass.
JOKE!

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."

Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

"Harry, after a moment "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Harry: "Pockets."

Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Ms Brooks: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.

Harry: Bubblegum

Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: Shake hands

Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Harry: Yep.

Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Harry: Arrow

Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?

Harry: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."

Just a few images

Did Alanis Morissette pop into anyones head? God, I suck.

DAMN NIGGA!

Yep.

I'm surprised more of these haven't came up.
- FFL -

- Hot Model.
- Booby Flash
- The breast cam.
- Watch out dumbass.
- VAGINA song! (Video)
- Great moto crash save!
- How to dump your girlfriend.
- Michael Jackson soundboard.
- Jessica Alba *almost* naked.
- "Nigga I don't want two wangs!"
- Twisted new videos from Heavy.
- 50 Cent: Bulletproof Game Trailer.
- These guys do some great tricks.
- Let's give her a hand.. and a foot.
- Nice shoot 'em, 'til they die game.
- I wonder what race the kids where.
- Damn, check out that ass and twat.
- Reminds me of that Nike basketball ad.
- Malt liquor taste like a bucket of assholes.
- A new fun puzzle game to keep you busy.
- Only thing you rule at is eating the buffet.
- As the domain reads.. Crazy ass sex toys.
- How many would love to cuddle up to this?
- Pictures of dog bites! (Some shouldn't be here)
- Semen taste-enhancement dietary supplement.
- Remember the haunted painted that was on eBay?
- Frosted flakes! HAHAHA GET IT?!!!?... Nasty bitch.
- Office Hurdles: Should be in the Special Olympics.
- Snoop Dogg even has funny international commercials.
- Anyone remember that drunk Britney video? (BIG WOW!)
- You would think Earthlink would have something better to do.
- There's a Michael Jackson suicide watch site on the INTERNET.
- That Mosh girl again. (All the pictures, since that site was shut down.)

Note: I've gotten a few e-mails saying that a link contained a virus. Well when I post them, I don't get anything. (I don't use any blockers)

It's possible it came from a pop-up on the link. If something had a virus I wouldn't have posted it.

Anyway, contact the site owner and let them know.

Post Archives

� Ever looked at a website.. ON WEEED? posted on 03/11/05 by Opie

Very funny bit from Bob and Tom. This guy rules.

Best scene from Half Baked.

Another great Conan clip!

It's not shit.

Who needs an ATV when you're a redneck?
JOKE!

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jailand hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too."

OK images, listen.

DAMN NIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Be sure to eat your fruity pebbles.

That ice is crazy.

Everyone with a Jenga set will go try it.

What's around the corner?
- FFL -

- Whack it
- A Beauty!
- Sexy iBabes.
- Insane Videos.
- SEXY FREEBIES!
- I'd kill that doctor.
- Crazy office fight.
- Two whole days!?
- Also great for slugs.
- Kitty with two faces.
- Good company name.
- All New Red vs. Blue!
- Must eat steak. Now.
- Young hotties in lingerie.
- Claudia Schiffer in prison.
- Goth chick with nice tittas.
- Best ass on the Internet.
- Have fun with these mazes.
- Hardcore Midget wrestling!
- Vin Diesel can break dance.
- A horse that acts like a dog.
- Handicapped PRO!? Wrestling.
- This missile game is pretty fun.
- That P Diddy Pepsi commercial.
- Lots of girls should choose anal.
- Here's a brain exercise for ya.
- The old school cup and ball game.
- Come mere and give fifty a kiss.
- Old school game with a great twist.
- Pedophiles on the INTERNET? No way.
- I STILL don't get this type of "pleasure".
- Find people you went to school with, fool.
- Here's another one of those puzzle games.
- Tonya Harding looks like a swamp donkey.
- George Lucas has apparently lost his chin.
- "Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either."
- These ASIANS must be completely retarded.
- This starts out unfunny, but then gets really funny.
- "Then set himself on fire" As if he didn't do enough..
- The game (G, You knit?) wants fifty to suck his dick.
- They kick the SHIT out of this guy. (Close to the end)
- I'll take some brownies with man juice, hold the weed.
- J lo! Girl, don't you know what that fur came from? [/Black lady voice]
- I bet the murder victim is "ROLLING OVER" in his grave. OK, that was a bad joke.

Exs and girlfriend pictures next week. (Promise) Also I've got 2002 and 2003 "Best of" done. I just have to add the some new captions and junk on the 2003 ones. 2004 shouldn't be to much behind.

Post Archives

� weeeeeeeeeed posted on 03/09/05 by Opie

W.O.W time boys and girls.
THE REST!:

Stupid cop. Very stupid.

Why would you do that? Use one of those big ones.
Joke

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem:

"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me.
I love you,
Your Father"

The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son:

"Beloved Father,
Please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'.
I love you, too,
Ahmed"

At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.

A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son.

"Beloved Father,
I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes.
That's all I could do for you from here.
I love you,
Ahmed."

images...

NBA Picture fun!

Albino deer is sweet looking.

That'll learn em'.

DAMN NIGGA!

Kitty Porn is bad.

What's he scared of?

If you remember subseven, raise your hand.
- FFL -

- Nigga Plz.
- Girls Blog.
- Need hosting?
- Realllly Funny
- Banana Man?
- Who would hit this?
- Reno 911 is funny.
- Haha.. Black people.
- Victoria's new secret.
- Nice girls in this video.
- Canadian Breast Exam.
- This rodeo game is hard.
- Enzo Lamborghini video.
- Don't hate, masturbate.
- Test your reaction speed.
- Hit what you're aiming at.
- Porn scripts are the best.
- They're slowly taking over!
- She's stripping for you guys!
- Three cops tasered on video.
- This is just annoying. Bang bang.
- Any gamer should like this game.
- OH MY GOD! A BUTT CRACK. score.
- The youth gone wild! (Good editing)
- Oh my god. Why? This time it's a girl.
- 7 eleven shouldn't have commercials.
- Girls masturbate while driving? ME TOO!
- Smart people would have used a proxy.
- Looks like an ASIAN Old Navy commercial.
- Um. Um... Yeah. BEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER!
- Couldn't help it, had to post it again. Haha
- Straight out of HEE HAW with a lopsided tittie.
- Yet another [driving] game to keep you busy.
- Looks like I'll be taking a trip to Wisconsin. Meow.
- Amazing collection of Hip Hop videos from Heavy!
- Did the winner expect to walk out? My god people.
- GOD FORBID if this guy was black. You know I'm right.
- First three pages of Stallone's official screenplay to ROCKY 6!
- Chick from the featured galley video. (Scroll down to download)
- Why kidnap Russell Crowe when there's Brad Pitt? That came out wrong.
- Lots of "air" in the 2nd and 3rd video. She's hot too. (Don't click the other links)

Post Archives

� Judo CHOP. posted on 03/08/05 by Opie

Site Updates: Fixed a few bad links in the hotties section and added the pranks back to the downloads. Will try and get some good programs up as soon as I finish doing the "Best of" section in the features. It's time consuming.

I want this on DVD, ASAP.
Title = "Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky" Thanks guys.

I have a witty comment, but I'll pass. Just kidding... SHAKE RATTLE AND..

DO.NOT.HIT.WOMEN. Idiot.
ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Madame.
Madame Who?
Ma damn foots caught in the door

OH MY GOD THAT WAS FUNNY!

On the 8th day, God made images.

Would be a great sequel.

Hey guys, That's me looking for treasure.

+ COOL?

and DAMN NIGGA!

Safety first.

Hungry? Why wait, grab a... NEVERMIND..

Last words: GODZILLA!!!!!!!
Edit: Was informed of the edit at the bottom left and it's fake.

I think he missed.

Owned.

That is correct.

No idea.

I'd hit it with a weed-eater.
JOKE!

Two guys are sitting next to each other on an airplane. As the plane gets in the air, one turns to the other and says, "You know, the most embarrassing thing happened to me this morning. I went to get my ticket from the woman at the counter, who just happened to be the most gorgeous woman I've ever lain my eyes upon, and instead of asking for 'Two tickets to Pittsburgh', I said, 'Two pickets to Tittsburg'."

They shared a chuckle over this and the other man responded, "That's the damnedest thing. Something like that happened with my wife and me at breakfast this morning.

I meant to ask her to 'Please pass the Post Porridge,' but it came out, 'YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE.'"

- FFL -

- Pretty Girl.
- Knock Out fool.
- She lost her top.
- Typical dumbass.
- WEEEEEEEEEEEE.
- Two idiots fighting.
- Hot naughty teens.
- SEXY FREE STUFF!
- That weiner is fake!
- Very odd flash movie.
- Kid blows his nads off.
- Bullet bras hurt like hell.
- Jesus Christ, Supercop!
- Oh shit, what a dumbass!
- Nudity from camera phones.
- 3 3ast 3 3urious! Funny stuff.
- I bet PETA loves this machine.
- I'd go to this Superbowl Party.
- Re-post of that awesome parrot!
- If you're color blind, you'll like this.
- Wanta-be wiggers are even worse.
- You'll just have to watch this one.
- Holy shit, this mole is crazy looking.
- Sexy Anna Kournikova photo shoot.
- What is going on in this picture? (DN!)
- I'm a bit dumber for even posting this.
- Fox news with Jessica's "lickable" crap.
- This gum commercial is great. <3 PETA
- Banana Jobs are crazy in that sexy way.
- Caller ID spoof. Dunno if it works or not.
- Photoshop fun with some ugly goth bitch.
- I want one of these shredders for little kitties.
- How can you bully someone on the INTERNET?
- Fred Durst suing websites for $80 million? Idiot.
- I was going to buy, until I read the reviews. Shit.
- Haha I remember seeing this when I was younger.
- Be cool and meet some INTERNET girls in your area.
- They could have picked a better scene from this movie. (N.D)
- Hahaha.. Check out Head from Korn. (This time with pictures)
- She could be the oldest woman in the world? Cart-wheels for her!
- You kids are stupid to get addicted to cough meds. Just slit your wrist.

Post Archives

� The INTERNET is not funny. posted on 03/04/05 by Opie

The last of the Conan/Walker clips! Hope you guys enjoyed them.

I laughed my ass off on this scene.

And I thought I was messed up...

Something is going to happen!
Q and A

Q: What do you get when you cross JFK, Ernest Hemingway, Abraham Lincoln, and Kurt Cobain?
A: A complete skull.

Q: What sign does an epileptic Black person have around his neck?
A: I'm not break dancing.

Q: Why Did The Chicken cross the road?
A: Because a black guy was chasing it.

Q: What did usher say to the Jews?
A: Let it burn.

Q: What is Superman's greatest weakness?
A: A bucking horse.

Q: What is loud and obnoxious?
A: A woman.

Q: how do you feed a hungry Ethiopian?
A: Let them swallow.

Q:What's better than Honor ?
A: In her.

OK.. OK.. Images

Will these ever stop? No.

Who stole the cookie from far the...

Correct. Speaking of rect..

All those phone techs are morons anyway.

I should have added the sound huh?

Yeah sure buddy.

She never has problems finding TP for her bunghole.

I usually never post these dumb cartoons, but I liked this one.
- FFL -

- Damn it.
- Silly Asians.
- Fun pinball game.
- The world is doomed.
- Too gay for me to host.
- Face = C-, Titties = A!
- Best hockey goal ever.
- Naked aerobics anyone?
- Steve-O attacked by Lion.
- Street Fighter 2? Hahaha
- Office Space was great.
- Some girls are Mardi Gras.
- Free membership to porn.
- What is Victorias Secret?
- Very funny eBay auction.
- I like my bacon raw Bitch.
- Lara Croft grew some tittas.
- Some odd pictures be here.
- It's your Mom calling sweetie.
- HA HA Take that evil do-er!
- Here's another speaking thingy.
- Nipple slip on ESPN! Oh wait..
- This fighting game is actually fun.
- Urban combat vacation. I'm ready.
- Meet some nice whores in your area.
- Calvin and Hobbes comics from 86-95
- I just heard Head from Korn left too.
- Stop motion music video. Good stuff.
- He'll cut off his finger for just $790k.
- Check out that bottom right picture.
- Classic video of a stupid "hacker" girl.
- Man Can Sue Over Surprise Pregnancy?
- Uh yeah, that would be just plain stupid.
- Get drunk with breaking the seal? Get out.
- Can any of you girls pee standing up? haha
- Pranks calls are immature, yet very funny.
- Voicemail from Lindsay Lohan to Paris Hilton.
- Another example on why Rathergood rules.
- Haha you guys remember that QVC ladder clip?
- I can't stand people like this. (Re-post, but worth it)
- Heidi Klum video. Nothing else to say if you've seen her.
- GODDAMN DAMN IT STAND UP DURING THE NATION ANTHEM! (With video!)

Post Archives

� NO SUBJECT. posted on 03/02/05 by Opie

W.O.W clip for this week is Sydney Moon.

Fred Durst sex tape video, mirrored again. This could lead to the Hilton hacker?

Conan Walker clips! Here's part 2 of 3.

That's just nasty.

In case you missed the crash that's been all over the news.
20 Things to Do When You Are Bored in Class

Make a paper football and get someone to play with you. When they put their hands up into a little goal, flick the football at the teacher and immediately go back to doing your work.
Out of nowhere, or when it is quiet, say loud enough for the class to hear "When I say heeee-aay, you say hoooo, Heeee-aay" and see how many people say "ho"
At another quiet time, shout out "Marco" and then in a squeaky voice shout out "Polo seinior"
Practice your ty-chi. Wave your arms all around like your really know what you are doing.
Meditate. Humm as loud as you can and when your teacher says something about it, act all offended. "Do you have a problem with my religion, sir!?"
If one of your friends is drinking something, in the middle of a drink start chanting "chug! chug! chug!"
When the class is very quiet, say in a casual voice "Knock knock"
When the class is quiet, sigh and say "This class is really boring"
Shoot rubber bands at someone, when they accuse you look confused and point to the person to the left of you. After that, point to the person on the right of you ect...
If you are black start singing country music, if you are white start rapping.
Make as many paperballs as you can and set them on your desk in a giant pile. If anyone looks at you, look tough and nod at them.
If you are a male, start singing Britney Spears's "Hit me baby one more time" complete with raise the roof action.
Take everything out of your backpack and stack it on your desk. Take out a sheet of paper and take inventory of your stuff.
Take an empty gum wrapper and put it in your palm, then signal someone by going "pssssst. Hey!" Make them lean all close to you and get them thinking you have something interesting to say. Look around and then give them the gumwrapper.
See how many tiny paper balls you can set on the person in front of you without them knowing it.
Tie someones shoe's together and kick them.
Use a kick me sign. As a challenge, see how many people you can put a kick me sign on without them knowing it.
Start singing "Can you feel the love tonight" from the Lion King.
Fall asleep. When you wake up say shit like "I had a dream and you were in it. And you! You too!...
Blurt out chinese waiter talk. "SHICKEN FRIE RIE, SEVEN DOLLA"

OK, images too

Note the sign on the left.

Boobs on aisle 20.

Damn Nigga!

That house/store is crazy.

There's a mystery behind the black box.

Great parents.

That shouldn't even be called a penis.

Stinks?

Probably lives in Florida or something.
- FFL -

- Um.. Yeah.
- Big ASIAN tittas!
- Gold teeth bitch!
- SEXY FREEBIES!
- Who likes babes?
- Wanta be stripper.
- Yahoo 10 years ago.
- Message from Michael.
- David Chappelle's VD song!
- How to destroy the earth.
- Top 100 gadgets of all time.
- Girls this fat don't deserve sex.
- Live gameshow. Just watch haha.
- Still amazed at people on the net.
- You can pick up chicks in this ride.
- This is a very good sketch drawing.
- Need to see some pictures of STDs?
- You can tell if a fetus is gay or not?
- How can you miss such a huge typo?
- Paris and Kimberly try riding some bikes.
- Tornado chasers are fucking retarded.
- The Beast Movie. Release date: 6/06/06.
- I probably shouldn't have laughed at this.
- Wow, Winchester Police are fucking idiots.
- Here's that awesome cheerleading/bball clip.
- Any of you guys ever heard of Roy D. Mercer?
- OK, Just one more of the skittles speaker. Haha
- Midgets kicking themselves in the head is funny as hell.
- Need someone dead? HAHA, read the testimonials. hahaha
- ASIAN rap battle master. I like how they all start with "YO, YO, and yeah YO"
- Game no longer in G-Unit? Raise your hand if you care. Now slap yourself for doing it.

This post is dedicated to Matt aka Nometry. [ Late moderator on the Forums ]

Post Archives

� Chalk is not good. posted on 03/01/05 by Opie

*** Special Conan clips [MUST SEE] this week. ***

The Walker Texas Ranger clips on Conan are the best! Here's part 1 of 3.

This ISN'T the pee drinking chimp.

Best scene of this movie. 80's style baby!
Joke This joke has other forms, but this is better

Three guys rob a bank and need somewhere to hide out. They drive out to the middle of nowhere and explain their situation to a farmer. They ask if they can hide out there for awhile and the farmer reluctantly allows them to, on one condition; none of the guys can have any sexual contact with the farmer's daughter. They figure hey, that's pretty simple.

Later on that day, they finally meet the farmer's daughter. As it turns out, she's the most beautiful girl any of the bank robbers have ever seen. Later that night after the farmer's dozed off, they truck her ass. They gang bang her like there's no tomorrow.

When the farmer wakes up and finds the men asleep with his daughter he's furious. He orders each of the men to go to his garden and pick him one fruit or vegetable.

The first man brings back an orange. The farmer orders the man to drop his pants and bend over. In seconds, the man's feces are pushed in by the orange. In excruciating pain, he walks away.

The second man brings the farmer an apple. The farmer orders him to drop his pants and bend over. He does so, and as the farmer begins to penetrate his rear with the apple, the man bursts out in laughter. The farmer is confused. He questions the man, asking if he likes it. He asks if he's some kind of faggot. The man replies saying no, it's just that his friend is on his way from the garden... carrying a watermelon.

I'll takes Images for $400 Alex.