New Years Resolution: Steal more underpants. posted on 12/31/03 by Shane



Hmmm.



Right after Simple Life.

Quiz?

Tricky math. Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 30.
Add another 1000.
Now add 20.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 10.
What is the total?

Answer: Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.

Mary's father has five daughters:
Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answer: Nunu? Nana? Nene? NONO! Of course not. The fifth daughter's name is Mary. Read the question again.

Image Dump for December:



- FFL -

- Top 20 nude scenes.
- Terror Alert for kiddies.
- Man behind the motion.
- Type in your zip code.
- Crimes and more crimes.
- The Cousin of Bruce Lee.
- I really like these games.
- Remember the tray sliding?
- Fuck, I thought it was real.
- Watch out for falling objects.
- Aww wasn't that sweet. No really..
- Um it's pranks! Really G-A-Y ones.
- Someone please assassinate Michael so these flashes will stop.
- Canada pussy must smell better than some American.. I've said too much.

27 comments Immune to poon posted on 12/30/03 by Shane

Here's the last of the Celebrity Jeopardy clips.



Celebrity Jeopardy - Connery, Flockhart, Cage



Celebrity Jeopardy - Phil Donahue, Burt Reynolds, Marlon Brando



Celebrity Jeopardy - John Travolta, Burt Reynolds, Michael Keaton

Tonight I'll have some time to do lots of archiving (media zipped etc..) and and will make another post before the year is up with all my images submitted this month I havn't got around to posting. New features are almost done too.

13 comments My milkshakeduds bring the.. posted on 12/29/03 by Shane



Celebrity Jeopardy - Connery, Driver, Goldblum



Great for the tires.

What did 50 cent say when he got a sweater from Eminem for christmas?

GEE, YOU KNIT

OH MY GOD THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!

- FFL

- Word Perhect.
- Mario.. java style.
- Don't you just love Sydney?
- More of that Asain fatty.
- I'm sure this works great.
- Well spray paint my penis and call me Sally.

14 comments Lord of the penis.. Ha I typed penis. posted on 12/27/03 by Shane



More Celebrity Jeopardy and Teen Fight Club.. haha



Say meow 10 times.

All right remember the Elephant hanging in the post below? Well here's a more detailed story.



The story is here haha.

Tom had been in business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress.

He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a huge, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night... thoughtyou might like to come... about 5:00."

"Great," says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you!"

Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you... There's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem," says Tom. "After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops. "More 'n likely gonna be some fightin' too."

Tom says, "Well, I get along with people, I'll be alright. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Lars turns from the door. "More 'n likely be some wild sex, too."

"Now that's really not a problem," says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."

-----------------------------------

Two factory workers were talking.

"I know how to get some time off from work." said the man.

"How do you think you will do that?" said the blonde.

He proceeded to show her...by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging upsidedown. The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he was doing?

"I'm a light bulb" answered the guy.

"I think you need some time off," said the boss. So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory.

The blonde began walking out too. The boss asked her where she thought she
was going.

"Home," she said, "I can't work in the dark".

- FFL -

- Yummy.
- Marble game.
- What the fuck?
- Shake it like a..
- Rats love coke.
- Draw a pixel face.
- 10 ADS we wont see.
- Lord of the Right Wing.
- Wow this fool is strong!
- How well can you drive?
- An AK and a lawn mower.
- If hackers ruled the world..
- Who do the glasses belong to?
- Kind of late, too funny to not post.
- All right there has to be some full nudes.
- Shouldn't it be ice cubes instead of yellow?
- Lets be cool and make videos for our lovers muhaha.

Oh yeah good stuff coming before the year ends. (back to Mon-Fri stuff too, except New Years eve of course.)

37 comments Merry Christmas posted on 12/24/03 by Shane



Santa?

1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3. Santa has 31 hours to Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparision, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium size lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 14,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5. 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifigal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - if Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

- FFL -

- Jesus was born!
- Brain alphabet.
- This scared me at first.
- Japan loves Donkey Kong.
- A bit cruel wouldn't you say?
- Amateur boudoir photography.
- I boguht a big black one!!!!!!
- Saddam+Outkast=Bad flash movie.
- A bunch of gambling games to keep you busy.
- Wasn't this thing on Opera or something?
- Spelling game.. you get it right, stripping action.

22 comments Holy jezz posted on 12/23/03 by Shane



Bjork, Dave Matthews, Sean Connery.

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit.

She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000".

The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money.

The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."

"No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and sent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before.

Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them.

"Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."

The elderly woman did so with a little smile.

Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!"

- FFL -

- Sex Meter.. uh oh.
- Oops movies.
- So stupid I just had to post it.
- Escape from Neverland!
- Santa Live... boning the Mrs.. I keed.
- This is for Monica and her silly penguin loving ass.
- I didn't even know someone stole that mis-leading link infested site.

8 comments Yep posted on 12/22/03 by Shane



Conspiracy theory - Lincoln vs Kennedy

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Lincoln was shot at the theatre named 'Ford'.

Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by Ford.

Booth ran from the theatre and was caught in a warehouse.

Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And just one more thing:
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.



Which one's the straight guy?



Don't we just love Mrs. Mr. Jackson?



Can you see it?

- FFL -

- Hmm really?
- Face maker.
- Baseball game.
- Sex Dictionary?
- I'm under arrest.
- Let's talk movies.
- Christmas fighting.
- This game is hard.
- More Bush tardness.
- Pretty cool BMX game.
- Really neat golf game.
- Where's Little Joe at?
- I want to see this movie.
- Treygothistruckstolen.com
- Old school shit here. (Elf bowling)
- For all you goddamn dope heads.
- I remember having an eyeball fight back in school.

15 comments Here we go loop de.. posted on 12/20/03 by Shane

Yep updates have been less this week and it shouldn't happen again, I'll just make em' really short while Ups is working me 10 to 10 (after christmas).. Can't you fucks order your packages in like May? ANYWAY..



I think the image speaks for itself.. click fucker.

If you thought the subway picture was offensive, then you better not watch this. Continue with the Chlorophyll, Mr. WHINE-A-PHYLL.



All this crazy shit around Christmas.. It will be A-Ok.



Uh oh.



Don't know why this is so funny.



Cute baby.



Damn right.. turban-less whores rule. (or whatever those things are called)

Jokes

There was a women in labour for many harsh hours. When the baby was finally born the doctor gave the baby to the nurse who rushed away with it. the woman shouted for her baby but the doctor told her her baby will be back in a awhile. about 15 minuts later the doctor came back with the baby all rapped up in a blanket. he leant in to give the women her baby and as she put her arms out he quicky smashed the baby againts the wall, punched it's face in, and drop kicked it. the woman screamed MY BABY!! and the doctor said aprils fool! it was allready dead!

---------------------------------------------

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

"Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog called a PudgyPigeon. They say it's been trained to give blowjobs !"

"Blowjobs!", the woman replied.

"It hasn't been proven, but we've sold 30 of them this month," he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no more blowjobs for her ! She bought the frog. When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off.

The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.

In the middle the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.

"What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked.

The husband replied," If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone."

Lookie more shit



- FFL -

- STFU.
- Rip off.
- Donuts?
- Zelda rules.
- Trap O Claus.
- Kill the other.
- Shoot Gobbles!
- Merry Christmas.
- Target practice.
- Here ya go guys.
- Who's got the lighter?
- Star Wars Confessions.
- Is this a flying squirrel?
- Everyone gets one right?
- This must be kind of old.
- Talk about Christmas spirit.
- Holy Batman, it's Ping Pong!
- Can you guess the ending?
- Billy Hatcher.. and many eggs.
- Cool snowboarding game, don't pull a Sunny B.

28 comments short and not so sweet posted on 12/16/03 by Shane



I'll take Famous Titites for 200 Alex.



Wow I can feel hell from here.

More Saddam:





Sorry work is crazy this time of year, more stuff later.

140 comments That's G-A-Y Gay posted on 12/15/03 by Shane



SNL - Celebrity Jeopardy.. Turd Ferguson



The mouse that happens to be named Saddam gets...

Saddam fun:









- FFL -

- Warning signs of.. wait this is the whitehouse site.
- Look another Barbie collection.
- Kill terriorist.
- Love bump?
- Move the ball with the fan.
- Old scholl ninja turtles ruled.
- That is G-A-Y gay.
- GenitalDrive.
- Always wondered how they did that.
- Pull his finger.
- Pretty cool game.
- Weird gallery.
- Paris hilton sex tape.
- "I want to be a pregant man" -Bob.
- Little volleyball game.
- Holy shit, remember this?
- Lazy pants?
- Masturbation Synonyms.
- Haha.. what a retard.

29 comments Re: posted on 12/12/03 by Shane

Here's the rest of these:









The one with Matt Damon.

- FFL -

- Lesbian scenes that are rated.
- Crazy letters!
- Finding Nemo?
- Finger up the butt?
- You guys like painted boobs?
- Spray paint on a web site....Wow.
- These guys are dorks. The girl is kinda hot though.
- Nudie puzzle day.
- I got them all wrong.
- Mouse over the images.
- Be sure you check out the beauty kit one.
- Sumo Wrestling rules.

23 comments Quick, hit the lights! posted on 12/11/03 by Shane





Devil GOAT!



More Kids books... that were banned.



Nice present there grandpa.



Use duct tape to tape your friends's keys around a pole. (Use two rolls.)

- FFL -

- Font fighting?
- Kill the evil fly.
- Make em' strip.
- Kind of like Mario.
- Great commercial.
- Crazy Egg fighting.
- Yeah fuck those H2s.
- Cool snow sculptures.
- Put a little Windex on it.
- Cornman to the rescue!
- Someone's tittie fell out.
- What's the point of this?
- Wow, this is really retarded.
- On-line Orgasmic Simulation.
- You japs are off. I keed I keed.
- We wish you an EVIL Christmas.
- The Walmart hoes here look like they where hit with a bag of nickels.

9 comments Just tell your parents your were getting stoned... posted on 12/10/03 by Shane





That parrot is not Brain Fellows!

Animated GIF fun



Oh yeah and..


Daddy like.

Sorry no time for FFL. (tomorrow=double time)

10 comments Tiny Tim got shot by Tupac posted on 12/09/03 by Shane







Is that a snapping turtle?

Note to SNL lovers: Next week I'll start posting the Celebrity Jeopardy clips.

Not only is vodka good with red kool-aid orange juice it's great for..

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves the adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking,let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry

6. Using a cotton ball,apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziplock freezer bag, and freeze for a slushy, refreezable ice pack for aches, pain, or black eyes..

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the mixture to aches and pains...

11. Make your own mouthwash by mixing nine tablespoons powered cinnamon with one cup vodka. Seal in an airtight container for two weeks. Strain through a coffee filter. Mix with warm water and rinse your mouth. Don't swallow.

12. Using a q-tip, apply vodka to a cold sore to help it dry out.

13. If a blister opens, pour vodka over the raw skin as a local anesthetic that also disinfects the exposed dermis.

14. To treat dandruff, mix one cup vodka with two teaspoons of crushed rosemary, let sit for two days, strain through a coffee filter and massage into your scalp and let dry.

15. To treat an earache put a few drops of vodka in your ear. Let set for a few minutes. Then drain. The vodka will kill the bacteria your ear.

16. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

17. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

18. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

19. To remove cigarette smoke in your home or office mix one part vodka and three water and spray the clothing, then launder and let dry.

20. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.

21. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

- FFL -

- Pussy art.
- My kind of game.
- Fast racing game.
- This confused me.
- Timmmmmmmy porn.
- A new Sober Santa.
- Let them sing for you.
- Ugly Christmas lights.
- Santa on a snowboard.
- People customize their pistols.
- How you like this breakout game?
- Still don't get the whole EMO thing...
- Oh my god it's a magical horn honker

14 comments Chilin' at tha Motel 6 posted on 12/08/03 by Shane





Yes, we need to respect Porn Stars more.



Why didn't they have shows like this when I was younger?



I hope you like Brian Fellows.. One each day this week.


A large group of lingering Taliban soldiers is moving down a road when they hear a voice from behind a sand dune:

“One U.S. Special Forces soldier is better than 10 Taliban!”

The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle erupts, then silence.

The voice then calls out, “One U.S. Special Forces soldier is better than 100 Taliban!”

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and, instantly, a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The American voice calls out once more, “One U.S. Special Forces soldier is better than 1,000 Taliban!”

The enraged Taliban Commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons, rockets and machine guns ring out as a huge battle rages. Then silence.

Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and, with his dying words, tells his commander, “Don’t send any more men! It’s a trap—there are two of them!”



I've only let two girls drive my truck.. Wonder why.

- FFL -

- Elgoog.
- Steal gold.
- Kill Bill...Gates.
- Chris Kattan rules.
- Got a spoonguard?
- Addicted to Jesus?
- Asian kid images 1.
- Asian kid images 2.
- Karaoke.. Metal Style.
- Don't step in the bullshit.
- I get this shit all the time.
- Really cool 3D Snowfight game.
- Sounds like the StrongBad dude.
- Cakes and Pies.. Cakes and Pies.
- Cuss your teacher out in Spanish.
- Where's the huge bitch sound at?
- Wow, look at these Lord of the Ring extras.
- Too bad ours don't have stuff like this in them.

21 comments Howdy sucka. posted on 12/05/03 by Shane





I'm so in the Christmas Spirit. (SNL Style)



On the left, Andrew Dice goes off on CNN... On the right, Ha ha ha dork.

"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.

"Hey Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Merry Christmas Buddy"

- FFL -

- How cool is this.
- Chris Farley rules.
- This made me wet.
- God Bless Mike's Angels.
- Holy shit again? Get a hobby.
- 12 STD'S of Christmas. Uh oh..
- Get the balloons with evil clowns.
- Paris Hilton sex video - Barbie Style.
- Quite a few of these types of games.
- Beer is good for you.. Don't let this fool you.
- Gyroball..these games are too hard for Shane.
- Why Photoshop and Flash are ruining this nation.
- Also works by pushing "I'm feeling lucky" in the US google.

Don't be lazy like me, SUBMIT MORE SHIT!

22 comments Mom said Goldfish are good for you, I lost my pet. posted on 12/04/03 by Shane





Hey look the Starwars kid is on Southpark.

You Know you grew up in the 80's if....

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE".

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.

3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Belair"

4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.

6. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.

7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.

8. Two words: M.C. Hammer

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock".

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales".

12. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

17. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, She! lter, House)

18. You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it.

19. L.A. Gear....

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.

21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books. Ramona completed in 1st grade.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing.

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off...

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

27. You took Lunch Pails to school.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

29. You still get the urge to! say "NOT" after every sentence.

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.

32. You thought Sheera and He-Man should hook up.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were in-line skates.

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.

42. You remember Popples.

43. "Don't worry, be happy"

44.. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.

45.. You wore socks scrunched down.

46. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"

47. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

48. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.

49. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"

50. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales"

51. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.

52. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

53. You remember New Kids on the Block! when they were cool.

54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell", the ORIGINAL class.

55. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THRU THE HEART.

56. You just sang those words to yourself. (didn't you)

57.You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.

58.You cut your t-shirts in half and wore it with your homemade Levi shorts..(the shorter the better)

59. You remember when mullets were cool!

60. You had a mullet!

61. You still sing "We are the World".

62. You used to bake shrink a dinks.

63. You cooked your favorite meal in your easy bake oven.

64. You had to have every G.I. Joe that came out.

65. You had a POW-GO-Ball.

66. You thought Kirk Cameron was hot.

67. You had the latest Atari.

68. You owned and wore the Micheal Jackson Glove.

69. You loved the game of Hide-and-seek.

70. You wore Peace earrings.

71. You either feathered your hair or had high bangs.

72. Your first doll was the Cabbage Patch Kids.

73. Your bed had all the Care Bears on it.

74. You went to Chuckie Cheese.

75. You remember that you could ride your bike in the street and not wear a helmet.

76. You knew that boys/girls had cooties.

77. You loved to play heads up 7-up on rainy days at school.

78. You wanted every day to be show and tell.

79. You thought dodge ball wa! s the best "sport" at school.

80. You remember getting your first kiss on the play ground.


34 comments Lookie Lookie I found the pus... posted on 12/03/03 by Shane





Haha on the left SNAP.. on the right white boy can dunk!

Blonde and Football

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind the bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she said, "especially the really tight pants and all of the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What on earth do you mean?"

"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was:

"Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"



Oh now!! He strikes again!



Look in the back.



Enjoy.

- FFL -

- Kill judge Judy.
- Adult games!!!!
- It's harry potter.
- Snowboarding game.
- Fishhunter.. I guess.
- I'm so going to hell.
- Do you hate britney.
- Down with Microsoft.
- Jesus is watching you.
- New Paris Hilton video.
- Batman got his ass kicked.
- You're a witch, get the kids!

8 comments Try new AOL version 894! posted on 12/02/03 by Shane



Barney rules now.



Lets poke Leopards with sticks!

A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping with music and dancing but every once in a while the lights would turn off.

Each time after the lights would go out the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."

"Why not? " the nun asked.

"Well, there is a statue of a naked man in there, and his most private part is covered only by a fig leaf.

"Nonsense, " said the nun, "I'll just look the other way. "

So the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of the stairs, and she proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again.

However, they did stop just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "would you like a drink? "

"But, I still don't understand, " said the puzzled nun.

"You see, " laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink?

A bear and a rabbit were in the woods taking a crap next to each other.
The Bear looked a the rabbit and said "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
"Not really" said the rabbit. So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass with him.

Tarzan and Safe Sex

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.
Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said, "Oh,... Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong,... but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes and laid down on the ground.

"Here" she said,... "you must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch.

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.
Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?"

"Tarzan check for bees!"

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass.

Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?"

The shepherd, always the gentleman, said, "Sure!"

The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said, "352."

This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."

The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others. When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"

More Crap



- FFL -

- Yummy.
- Bananas.
- German kitties.
- Pacman movie.
- Mr. Picassohead.
- Drop water ballons on people.
- First one to translate wins a dollar.
- Dancing Cartoon... Pretty stupid.
- Pretty cool spaceship/shottong game.

15 comments Well.. shit. posted on 12/01/03 by Shane

Road runner is being all gay so I'm having to use a proxy to post here, So if you're on rr and the site is lagging, use a proxy. I'll upload the rest tomorrow (media/images)..

I'll have last months post and last seasons dailybabes up tonight when I get home. (Assuming rr fixed is lag-ness)

For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater her are some survival tips.

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts
7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians
10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins
15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

35 Ways to Piss Off Your Girlfriend:

1. Say "yikes" after she returns from the hairdresser.
2. When she complains that your friend keeps staring at her chest, tell her it's no big deal.
3. Mock the way she throws a Frisbee.
4. When she complains about her family, agree that they do indeed suck and add your own reasons why.
5. Try to convince her that silicone isn't dangerous.
6. Tell her women shouldn't be allowed to be priests.
7. Space out instead of watching for people while she's peeing in an alley.
8. Mumble under your breath whenever Camryn Manheim (The Practice) and other overweight actresses appear on TV.
9. Call her "cute" and pat her head.
10. Raise your eyebrows when she chooses ice cream over frozen yogurt.
11. Shudder when she shows you her feet.
12. After dropping her off at home, drive away before making sure that she's gotten indoors safely.
13. Call her out when she tries to hide a fart.
14. Suggest you give each other massages. When it's your turn to give her one, tell her you are "too relaxed."
15. During a good laugh, punch her on the arm like she's a guy.
16. Point at a mentally challenged person and say, "Look, that must be your ex-boyfriend."
17. Check her Caller ID to see who's been calling her.
18. Gag whenever a maxi pad or tampon is on a TV commercial and it soaks up that blue liquid.
19. When she yells at you, ask her if she has PMS.
20. Then tell her that she should get a prescription for Sarafem.
21. Make fun of her for going on a diet. Then poke her stomach like she's the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
22. Lose her ATM card.
23. Before she even starts to parallel park, offer to get out and direct her.
24. Don't hold her hair while she pukes.
25. Don't buy her a Valentine's gift even though she said, "It's a stupid holiday. We don't need to celebrate it."
26. Ask her if she’s wearing her ‘Stop Smoking Nicotine Patch.’
27. When the Bounty Picker Upper Paper Towel commercial comes on tell her your going right out and buy per a dozen rolls.
28. Ask her if she would like to meet your mother, when she says yes, say, “That’s good Mommy needs a good laugh.”
29. Ask her if you can have sex with her sister because you want to prove she’s better.
30. Tell her you hate CATS !!
31. Ask her if you can put nudes pictures of her up on the Internet.
32. Forget her birthday, when she gets mad, just say, “Well I thought it would remind you that you are getting old.”
33. Ask her to shower with you then ‘Pee’ on her feet.
34. Ask her to shave her pussy if she ever wants oral sex from you again.
35. Start commenting about good-looking women all around you whenever you go out.

- FFL -

- Battle tanks!
- Porn? uh no.
- Soccer game.
- The GNAA. haha.
- Offensive images!
- Paris is magic now.
- Protect your food.
- The 118 Experience.
- Internet might go down.
- The best paper airplane.
- How Dexterous Are You?
- Is your name used a lot?
- Oh yeah Christmas Lingerie.
- Stuff to know about college.
- This some type of Alien porn?
- Wipe the frost off the windows.
- Is this game suppose to be hard?
- I think I'm going to get my titties scanned.
- We had a fight break out in Toys R' Us here.
- Run before this little witch cast a spell on us!
- Stress Relief by shooting a paintball gun? AK47 does me fine.

7 comments