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� I'm moving to Canada... Lies. posted on 12/15/04 by Opie

Today is animal cruelty day! Just kidding.

The only good thing about this is that the kids got caught. Story

Edit: For fuck sake people, read this post., Don't just go clicking the images..
*WARNING, VERY GRAPHIC* I'm serious.

Chainsaw + Pig - Head = Crazy. See part two of the video here.
Note: Before you start crying or whatever, you should know that I don't support this type of behavior. The people that did it are just ignorant, but for all you know they were going to eat it. Psst.. Bacon.

Also if you know these people, contact PETA.

Now for some humor...

Everyone remember the Huge Bitch Series? Well I've updated the page and added a new one:

Part 12 baby!
- FFL -

- Nice hat.
- Dimebag fans?
- Weed candy?
- Weeeeeeeeeee.
- Ah what the fuck?!!!
- Awww.. How sweet.
- Gay pimp is well, gay.
- Elisha Cuthbert is hawt.
- She fucking blocked me.
- That is a big ass shark.
- This shit is Awesome baby!
- Money art is retarded, but neat.
- Wanta feel like a kid with downs?
- Olsen Twins sneak peak panty shot.
- A shopping game gone gay... and stuff.
- Dress like Bin laden and you'll get shot.
- She must use Tara Reid's plastic surgeon.
- It would be funny if that kid was black or mexican.
- Google must have a team of "thinking shit upers".
- I promise you that this didn't bother the Ups driver.
- Here's that really fucked up rape scene from Irr�versible.
- Wrong bag dude. The fags screaming makes this hilarious.
- OK I'll post this again. 12 STDS of Christmas. You might remember from last year.

I'll have another post for ya tomorrow to close out the week.

Post Archives

� I HAVE A COMPUTER posted on 12/15/04 by Opie

Just letting you know I'll have stuff for the rest of the week, so stay tuned...

Note: This new post server has some problems, just be patient. Thanks

Here's the money shot for W.O.W.
Plug Sign up, complete a free trial offer (Blockbuster, eFax, and PeoplePC are easy), refer some friends to do the same and you get a free 40GB Apple iPod Photo.

"I'm going to pull the pin with my mouth"

That had to hurt, dumbass.

Just wait, it gets good.

Redneck Roller Coaster
JOKE!

This guy was walking past a cliff, and he saw a pretty cute girl standing at the edge. He wonders whats up and he goes up to her and asks "What are you doing?"

She replies, "I'm about to kill myself."

The man says " Oh, well before you jump off could you give me a blowjob?"

She says "Sure". After the man received the blowjob he ask her "Why are you going to kill yourself?"

She replies "My family disowned me for becoming a transvestite."

Black people being shipped is wrong.

Umm...

Bad grandma!

Damn Nigga!

OOPS!

That sucks.

Where's Dark Vader?

Students say "WTF" often.
- FFL -

- I'm horny.
- Give me porn.
- I like his name.
- Playdoh Master.
- SEEDS OF HATE!
- Mario World spoof.
- That's great. Idiots.
- Another sperm game.
- Kylie Minogue's Pussy.
- Hot girls in evil jeans�
- Meet girls in your area.
- Crazy comic cartoons.
- Why is the face blurred?
- A Mule vs a Mountain Lion.
- Stoners make great flash.
- Dude, you're not Steve O.
- No more sweets for this kid!
- It's time to drunk up bitch!
- How to impress the babes.
- Reminds me of Home Alone.
- How to be an Evil Overlord?
- They're wrestling and naked.
- Hey, I like big ass titties too.
- No dressing up as black people.
- Husband picks up a prostitute.
- Some crazy videos on this page.
- How to cook faggots. Seriously.
- Out of control playstation. haha
- Neckbelts? Was a great idea huh?
- How can you stop looking at porn?
- Yeah, you're not black Ms. Portman.
- Gay and fat people go well together.
- Christmas deadliest day for Americans.
- I'd rather answer questions. (Kidding)
- God told me to make a website. TA DA.
- Still looking for that damn Paris video?
- Scratch the prize card to see if you win.
- Stupid bank. Very long, but good story.
- Remember when Blockbuster got sued?
- I think I need one of these for some reason.
- Is there man juice in her panties? Find out!
- Don't get your license plate caught on camera.
- Kid born without a face. (Click "Start Video" up top)
- Fuck Wal-mart.. That was a pun. HA HA HA HA
- I'm so nervous. (Skip to around the halfway point)
- You know you have a small dick when they write a story on it.

Post Archives

� I like to meet midgets posted on 12/10/04 by Opie

1977 crash. A bad one.

You can't say fuck on TV dude.

Worst sex ed video ever.

Listen for the squeak after she does "it" haha.
Will these pictures ever get old? Nah...

Yep, still funny..
JOKE!

A teacher was playing a game with her class. She said "I'm holding something behind my back. It's red and you can eat it."

A little boy puts his hand up and says, "Please Miss, is it a tomato?"

"No," replied the teacher, "It's an apple, but it shows you're thinking!"

She continued, "I'm now holding something behind my back. It's yellow and you can eat it."

A little girl puts her hand up and says, "Please Miss, is it a banana?"

"No," replied the teacher, "It's a lemon, but it shows you're thinking!"

Just then, little Johnny at the back, giggling putt's his hand up and says, " 'ere Miss, I got one for ya! I'm holding somefin' under the table. It's straight and 'ard, two inches long and got a round red bit at the end!"

The teacher says, "Johnny, don't be so vulgar!"

Johnny says, "It's a match Miss, but it shows you're thinking!"

I'll take some faggots to go.

Hmmmm

See, he knows about the joke.

Still not sure why these are funny.

I hate PETA. I left a surprise for them in the FFL.

I need to try this diet. You know, because all the hatemail consist of me being called fat, greasy/bald, a virgin, stupid, "never touched pussy", never seen pussy, sick, disgusting, going to hell, and of course gay. I love it.

The spongebob robber pictures have surfaced!
- FFL -

- Cool Gadgets!
- Funny Audio.
- Drawing fun.
- PORN MUSIC!
- Neato lenses.
- Great last name.
- Celebrity Ducks.
- Snowboader fighting.
- Find yourself a hot girl.
- Free porn for your soul.
- Snowglobes are fun.
- Celebrities on the street.
- Last two men on earth.
- It's time to drunk up bitch!
- Lite version of heavy
- "Slow-speed chase" haha
- I oddly want some hardees.
- Watch this while eating guys.
- Lesbian teachers. That's great.
- Ice Breakout with silly penguins.
- Avril Lavigne as a hooters girl.
- Why would you zap your nuts?
- Mini Kiss. Looks like a little ba-by!
- I thought she looked pretty good..
- By far.. The funniest porn site ever.
- Grover freaks me out for some reason..
- Looks like black babies are shit outa luck.
- Funniest priceless skit ever. (Old re-post)
- Diet pills may make you have gay children.
- Fox does a story on that stupid myspace site.
- Team American sex scene. Yep, with the puppets.
- Christmas countdown calendar. Oh yeah, with titties.
- You guys like lesbians? If you're on 56k, don't bother.
- JESUS SAVES! I still crack up watching these on TV.
- Sexy wife wants to surprise her husband with some kinky sex.
- If you like cats, I wouldn't click here. They have a PETA is ASIAN?
- I swear anyone that thinks that this is funny is a complete idiot.
- "What's that song?" Change it to something else in the box up top.

Post Archives

� yo posted on 12/08/04 by Opie

W.O.W. (Part 2 of her)
I had a guy e-mail me telling me he went to school with her. Well, here's a (supposedly) 8th grade yearbook picture:

Hmmm..

LEARN HOW TO EAT PUSSY! OH MY GOD! Yeah, that's sarcasm.

You regulars should know I'm a huge Dave Chappelle fan. Well here's the info on the 2nd season on DVD:

Chappelle's Show - Extras and other detailed info for 2nd Season DVDs
Posted by David Lambert
12/05/2004

2 weeks ago we published our news story bringing you more details of the DVDs for Chappelle's Show - Season 2 Uncensored. Now we have the final details in from Paramount Home Entertainment.

The Feb. 8th release will be on 3 discs, as we mentioned, containing 13 episodes (it looks like the 3 special eps that ended the season - two "best of" clip shows and a "music jump-off" show - are not included) and running 275 minutes (that's a change from Paramount over the previous time given, which had said 308). In addition to the main first-run episodes from that season, we have a nice list of extras:

* Audio commentaries by Dave Chappelle and series co-creator Neal Brennan
* Two unaired Charlie Murphy Hollywood Stories
* The Rick James extended interview
* Extra stand-up from Dave Chappelle
* Over 1 hour of bloopers and deleted scenes

Video is full screen format. Dolby Digital English Stereo and closed captioning for the hearing-impaired are the language-related options. Estimated street price is around $30 in the USA, according to Paramount, and Amazon agrees with that general range per their pre-order listing selling at $27.29 if you order now.

Note: This was posted in the forums. Speaking of forums, stop e-mailing me asking for a fucking account. I'll open them when I get good and goddamn ready.

- FFL -

- Wha?
- Fun little game.
- Boobies on eBay!
- Ah hell.. I entered.
- Playstation vs Porn.
- Sexy babe galleries.
- Gollum Masturbating.
- Christmas games. Oh joy.
- Yankee fan.. Go figure.
- OK goddamn it, I want you.
- Fake drummer. Good stuff.
- SEE SANTA MOSH! hahahhahaha
- Free porn passes and sex videos.
- Shit, I love these sick animations.
- Holy shit, Best Buy blows assholes.
- Big deal, I shit on escalators all the time.
- Stupid eye chart that retards will laugh at.
- Female Employees french kiss all the other employees at work.

Post Archives

� I'm magic. posted on 12/07/04 by Opie

You guys though I was going to post Monday huh? Suckas!

Now bend over, I will now show you a magic trick. I will make my weiner disappear. ta da

I need some lessons!
Rest be videos dude..

Don't stick your arm in there Mr. ASIAN man.

Bike, Rollerblades, and another Bike OUCH!

What kind of fucked up fetish is this?

He's a cool rapper, but embarrasses himself quick.
Joke that will make you laugh. (Unless you have downs.)

The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I promised my husband that I would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed And the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably Wake up, I cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in and I told him "Midnight." He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh shit," cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

- FFL -

- Got alcohol?
- PUNCH-OUT!
- Porn is your friend.
- WAKE UP ASSHOLE!
- Hot and Sexy Videos.
- Eh.. What the fuck?
- No cartwheels bitch!
- A collage of sex clips.
- Fuck her or chuck her?
- This is Karen. hahaha
- Those foxes are crazy.
- I like the postage cost.
- Naked girls jump roping.
- Great background music.
- No anal for her! hahaha
- Now that's just disgusting.
- It's like a talking google. Cool.
- Classic Man Show boy video.
- All these bidders are suckers.
- Find stuff to do over at heavy.
- I'll take whores for $500 Alex.
- Daily diapers! Kill me now please.
- Make your own grillcheese face!
- Crazy lady doesn't like golf balls.
- That's a shitload of credit cards.
- All snowboarders should try this.
- Man these animations are funny.
- Fawk you! Good shit waiting for you.
- Here ya go boys. Lots of goodies here.
- I feel like a fruit just by watching this.
- HA HA! I'm going to cast a spell on you guys!
- Off Ogrish, so most likely real. (Dead baby alert)
- He pulled you over because you were ASIAN. der..
- I could go with some black jokes right, but I'll shut up.
- Blonde wants to giver her boy friend a blow job but....
- If I was drunk I would think it was a panda bear. Weird..
- V-unit! They are badass. (P.S. Check out the troll guy on the left)
- Wonder if this back warmer works. Made in Canada so I doubt it. (I keed)

Post Archives

� boobies and jellybeans posted on 12/03/04 by Opie

Very graphic footage aftermath of a street bike crash.

LOOK! An ASIAN David Blaine!

Thief at work.

The beginning of this commercial is great.
Q and A

Q: What do you call 50,000 black people jumping out of a plane?
A: Night.

Q: Why can't Jesus play hockey?
A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

Q: Why do black people only chill and kick it?
A: Because they don't like to hang.

Q: A black guy and a Mexican jump off the Empire State Building. Who hits the ground first?
A: The Mexican, because the black guy had to stop on the way down and spray paint "mother fucker" on the wall.

Q: Why do police dogs lick their ass?
A: To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth.

Q: Why can't Sam ride a bike?
A: Because Sam has downs.

"Girlfriend" Funny song, check it out.
JOKE!

A man walks into a store and asks the clerk where he can find the tampons, so he can pick some up for his wife. He is directed to the appropriate "nasty women stuff" isle. He returns a few minutes later with a bag of cotton balls and a roll of kite string. The clerk hesitantly asks, " I know it's none of my business, but weren't you looking for tampons?"

The man replies, " Yeah, but then I remembered the last time I sent my wife out to get me cigarettes and she came back with a pouch of tobacco and some papers because it was cheaper. So this time she can roll her own."