Alrighty posted on 02/29/04 by Opie

I'm sure you noticed the downtime today and maybe last night? I'm working on moving the site to one of my other servers. This bandwidth provider has shit for brains.

I was hoping this bullshit was over, which was the reason for shitty updates last week. Just be patient, I'll have some stuff for ya Monday.

Also still trying to get sections updated and new stuff added, but my time has been limited. Hopefully I'll get in the mood this week..

18 comments Quick! Hit the lights! posted on 02/26/04 by Opie

Why do women fake orgasams?

Because they think men care.



Weak stomach? Don't bother watching... I'm serious ha ha.



It's big dude... Chicks love it.



Worst Nascar crash of all time. (Mike Harmon)

OH MY GOD THIS IS FUNNY!

Why did the cow cross the road?

To go to the moovies!!!!!!



Who's sucking who's titties?

-

They're on the beach.. better wrap it with the new condoms.



Damn that sucks.



It will still fail.



Fuck this shit mommy!



New Gay marriage poster.



KFC chicken and basketball players. Hmm..

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Full paris video again for people that can't scroll



- FFL -

- Poot.
- Well shit.
- Elvis rules.
- Strip poker.
- I hate Disco.
- Got cotton?
- Scotty is stupid.
- Neat racing game.
- Safe for work porn!
- Animal puzzle game.
- It's no Ninja Turtles!
- Shoot some chickens.
- Oh no!.. A racist site!
- Motorcycle accidents.
- Someone likes goatse!
- That monkey is CRAZY!
- Get the ball to it's home.
- Can't google do this too?
- I don't like this game, hard.
- Pretty cool sand sculptures.
- What the fuck is this about.
- How I learned the alphabet.
- Kill everything, very fun game.
- Some puzzles to keep you busy.
- Protection from space creators?
- If it's your step brother it's ok dude!
- Howard off the air? Who cares haha.
- Want to watch some surgery videos?
- Modify just weed-eater sounding cars.
- I used to smoke in the boys bathroom.
- Should of taken some chasers. (Game)
- 3D Submarine.. I want to shoot the fish.
- Oops, more of those boob flashy things.
- How many times can you pull the trigger?
- Like who wants to be a millionaire, but harder.
- I want a slave, preferably a midget on stilts.
- Yet another version of the pingu game.. (Bloody!)
- Pain in the butt workout.. I want to try it.. well watch.
- Funny that London said this.. Must be from the nonexistent dentist there.

For all you assholes bitching about updates click here please. Don't waste your time bitching , I don't care about your pathetic input. The site had some problems this week and I bought another server for you assholes.

You should learn how to appreciate this site. (AND LEARN HOW TO FUCKING READ) Site updates will go back to normal next week since I have everything worked out now.

That is all and I'm sad Black History month is almost over.

57 comments Hey posted on 02/26/04 by Opie

Got the new server set-up and getting some shit together..

paris video down (best copy out, I'll leave it up for a bit)

I'm surprised people are still asking for this

Oh and don't bother linking it on other sites, it won't work. I'll edit this post once this dns entry updates.. hence the dead images below.

24 comments Show me your titties! posted on 02/25/04 by Opie



Wow, what a bitch.

My other server is coming..

Dummy terms: Post will contain more stuff. Oh and I'll mirror the paris video since people are STILL asking for it.

44 comments Two in the Pie, one in the Eye. posted on 02/24/04 by Opie

Not much funny stuff on the net lately .. Wait except of course for Rick James. My face is still red.

P.S. Don't forget to get Season 1 on DVD. I'm going to Suncoast today and getting it.

Oh and I'm still waiting on my domain accounts to be filled. So whenever that happens I'll get another server just for post shit and post can get back to normal. I also might just get off my lazy ass and update some sections like I said I would...



Just look. You'll like.



Family Guy rules. OH YEAH!!!!!



So.. How about a blow job?



Watch out cracka!

This guy seriously needs his ass kicked.

This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it.

"Hey, what's that?"

"A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist."

"Can I try?" The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room.

"Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!"

"Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?"



Don't they make bathrooms is Asia?



Ever been this drunk?



Something is different... hmmmmmm

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the cashregister, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

- FFL -

- Fortune cookie.
- How's that rat?
- Spaceship game.
- Shoot some skee.
- Run over people.
- Crazy Asian line.
- Car wreck pictures.
- These girls like meat.
- Jimmy K.. rocketman.
- I'm Rick James BITCH!
- I have twin girlfriends.
- Shoot down the castle.
- Celion has gotten skinnier.
- Hangman.. I mean Hangaroo.
- Fast and the Furriest. (Game)
- Make the witch dodge pumpkins.
- How could you think this is real?
- Why would you want to buy this?
- Evanescence My Immortal video.
- Your name been in the News lately?
- Cods on coke.. Next on Ricki Lake.
- Old school (movie) streaking game.
- Oh my god. Will go in my collection.
- Dr. Fagin, you're needed in surgery.
- How well do you know your games?
- Apparently this guy has a small penis.
- Battleship in flash. (Worth a re-post)
- A pacman version that will piss you off.
- Goddamn, is that a beard growing on her?
- I need to see one of these fashion shows.

40 comments Donkey Bong posted on 02/20/04 by Opie



Part three.. What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!



Paris hilton tape!!!



Forum images.



I actually caught this fish yesterday (20 inch Bass).. I was playing ER by trying to revive her and when I pushed her stomach this little brim popped out and scared the shit out of me. Bastard.



Bunny Ranch in a clever disguise.



Hey dude your house is a flamed.



He really pinned him huh?



Fox and the Hound part 2.



What's missing here?

Log

Steven: Why doesn't anyone like me? Is it because I'm Jewish?
Zack: Wow your Jewish? My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
Steven: Really?
Zack: Yeah, he fell off a watch tower.

- FFL -

- Yay for Justin.
- Counter Stick v2.
- Control the Matrix.
- I want a red balloon.
- Internet people are off.
- How to put on a condom.
- A toy I would of have bought.
- View Earth of Space.. Neato...
- Vibrator that goes with a PS2?
- Mother fucker.. Attorney at Law.
- Find the ball. Crazy Asian version.
- I think go stick my thumb up his but.. By crocy.

40 comments 50 first..thumbs down posted on 02/19/04 by Opie

That movie was stupid.. Anyway..



Part two of Rick James... BITCH.



Read it twice.



PCP is a hell of a drug. [/rickjames]



What a great place for a field trip.



Idiot.



He's got the whole world in...

Random Questions (Some good, some bleh)

1. If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked?
2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?
3. What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
4. Why is the word abbreviate so long?
5. What is the speed of dark?
6. What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
7. Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
8. If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
9. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
10. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
11. What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
12. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
13. If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?
14. If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?
15. When people lose weight, where does it go?
16. If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
17. If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
18. Life is hard compared to what?
19. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
20. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
21. Is there reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
22. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
23. If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
24. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
25. If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?



- FFL -

- Strip-Tac-Toe.
- Gum chick gallery.
- Breakout-like game.
- Cool Dodgeball game.
- The rat likes cheese.
- I need change for a 5.
- License plate generator.
- A very nice Jigsaw puzzle
- Stop hangovers. I hear it works.
- Another Paris Hilton link.. Full version.
- Never lose with Pepsi's iTunes giveaway.

24 comments Return to the Blue La...POON posted on 02/18/04 by Opie

Goddamn hatemail haha!

From: "Eric B."
Subject: UP Late

Yah i gotta say i hate your site.

Reason #1. The first night found it was about midnight and i stayed up untill 5am browsing links and such. Fucking asshole, i had to work the next day but hey i learned how to fuck with Wal-mart. But fuck you anyway ill probably get banned for that shit and the next closest one it an hour away gotta love NH.

#2. I woke my family up listing to movies and shit because it was java and i couldnt turn the vol. down (it was all the way down on my comp) bad reason

#3. Its 2:30am now and i feel like i have only browsed 5% of the content here...what are you trying to do make me an insomniac?!

#4. You have way too much spare time to make this site.

ok there i hate you bahhhhh

Thanks, You really made me laugh.



Part one of Rick James... BITCH. The rest will follow the rest of the week.



Will these ever stop?



Ha, pissed ya off.



I didn't even read the shirt.



This happened to me once, it was beer though. Fuckers..



DVD? Can't wait.



I'll take Tards in a jar for 600 Alex.



How tall? Oh that tall!



Rain, rain don't go away.

Jokes are FUN-NAY

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

------------------------------------------

An office manager had money problems and had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill. He thought he'd fire the employee who came to work late.

The next morning, both employees came to work very early. So the manager thought he would fire the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.

Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break. Strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day. They both ate at their desk.

Then the manager thought he'd wait to see who would leave work earliest, but both employees stayed after closing. Jill finally went to the coat rack and the manager went up to her and said, "Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off."

Jill said, "Well, you'd better jack off, because I'm late for my bus."

------------------------------------------

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby were a man?

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing -your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe y! ou should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure thenjust perform oral on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral se! x on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you.
The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home.
Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A! : Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help.
You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perfo! rm oral on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as Much as you should - he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish!
Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral on him and cook him a nice meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep never giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

- FFL -

- Bad porn?
- Crazy Limos.
- Google logos!
- Ebonics is fun.
- Like connect 4.
- Bush is a bad mofo.
- Uh oh another version.
- Have some fun at 711.
- Do you have my stapler?
- Not sure what the point is.
- Well I actually like this one.
- Elvis's limo conditon is used.
- What a fag. (Gay shit alert.)
- I may wear my seatbelt now.
- Amazing! No really who care?
- Torrie and Sable Playboy pictures.
- Put my bid in if that water has pee in it.
- What the hell.. Batman Returns all over again.

Post may be weak this week, enjoying my vacation. Keep an eye on the updates for section updates though. It's what I'm devoting most of my time too while I'm home.

Another thing is that it looks like I'm going to end up needing another additional server (Yep that makes 3). If you want to help me out and Donate some cash using Paypal. (verified only please) It would help out a ton.

I'll also give some of my own bandwidth for the paris tape if I get quite a few donations. If you've been here enough you know I hardly ever ask.

20 comments You guys want some cookies?! posted on 02/16/04 by Opie

See this page for this part of this part of the post.

AND... here are the goods:

Another thing that can't be done

Take a pen in each of your hands, and simultaneously draw a square and a circle.

Impossible.



I use to lick those fences.



She wanted it, but couldn't take it. Not safe for work



More JJ fun. (Two images)



I love fishsticks.



Yeah learn English fucker.



Best singles ad I've ever seen.



What a shame..

One day, a man was strolling along the beach when he happened upon a woman with no arms or legs laying on the beach. As he walked by, she started crying, so he asked her, "Why are you crying?". She responded that she had never felt the warmth of a man's hand before. So the man felt sorry for her and walked back and he put his hand on her cheek.

He started to walk away again when the woman started crying again. "Why are you crying now?" he asked. She replied that she had never been kissed by a man before. So, the man walks back and gives her a little peck on the lips.

Before long, she starts crying again. "Now why are you crying?!" he asked. She replied that she had never been screwed before.

So he walked back angerly, picked her up, threw her into the ocean and yelled, "YOU'RE SCREWED NOW, BITCH!"

- FFL -

- Huntin' rabbits.
- Blah, who cares.
- It's about Jews!
- I like this clock.
- Crazy Asian shit.
- Defuse the bomb!
- Collapse the balls.
- Pretty cool game.
- Doesn't surprise me.
- Some kind of movie.
- Will this be on DVD?
- Listen to her farts!!!
- Need to pass a drug test?
- How was she in the sack?
- How do I order from Japan?
- How much is a million dollars?
- It's over Ken, Fuck you bitch!
- This is a bad ass DVD box set.
- Graphics amaze me on this game.
- May come in handy, online manuals.
- Haven't you always wanted to do this?
- I'll let you French guys explain this one.
- Central American Idol. (Remember him?)
- What's your #? Oh it's 867-5309 [/melody].
- Where's the two quarters guy lunchbox at?
- This guy looks like a fruit and he likes throwing spaghetti.

P.S. I may leave this up top for an extra day, If I do double postage on Wednesday.

42 comments Alright.. P-Time posted on 02/14/04 by Opie

The wait is over, first I would like too many of you are stupid thinking I'm just going to e-mail you the tape. Funny thing is, I never said I would. Tards...

Anyway here are the first mirrors and a big thanks go out to these guys:

Don't link to these pages, link here. Pages will be changed a lot.

- Mirror 1 - Full version, either one will do.

No these aren't misleading links those other fucking sites are doing.. Quite pathetic.

You guys want to hear a funny joke?

I'm still getting e-mails for the video... Be right back going to hang myself..

90 comments (16828 views)