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penis cake posted on 04/29/09 by Opie

Quick Q and A

Q: Why do natives hate snow?
A: Because it's white and on their land.


What is going on at this hockey game?

The best tea commercial ever.

The best porn acting I've seen. haha


A little boy and a little girl, both about six, are playing in the sandbox. Unexpectedly, the little boy farted, causing a little sand between his legs to shift.

She notices, and squeals with laughter, "How'd you do that," she asks.

"Easy," he exclaimed, "I just farted."

"Can I try it," she asks?

"Sure," he says, "anybody can do it."

So she strains, and concentrates, and grunts. Suddenly, there's a terrible explosion, the sides of the sandbox fly off, all the sand flies out.

The little boy rolls up the hill, he finds himself upside down against a tree. He groggily gets to his feet, runs over to where the little girl is out cold, flat on her back, spread eagle.

He lifts up her dress, peeks underneath, and loudly exclaims, "Just what I thought, dual exhaust."

- FFL -

[NSFW] - Lesbians.
[NSFW] - Teen sex.
[NSFW] - Rough sex.
[ SFW ] - Funny pictures.
[ SFW ] - Tupac is alive!
[NSFW] - Nice floppy tits.
[ SFW ] - Chuck Norris shirt.
[NSFW] - Cam girls are sluts.
[NSFW] - I want a lap dance.
[NSFW] - Her body is very nice.
[NSFW] - Find a hot fuck buddy.
[ SFW ] - Oh look retarded cats.
[ SFW ] - This horse will kill you.
[ SFW ] - Top celebrity meltdowns.
[ SFW ] - That is a big ass Cheeto.
[ SFW ] - Her tongue is like a snake.
[ SFW ] - Jennifer Aniston is still hot.
[ SFW ] - Not slap chop it's RAP CHOP!
[ SFW ] - A bunch of cool animal pictures.
[ SFW ] - Problems getting off during sex? Read this.
[ SFW ] - Someone pretending to be a a real super hero.
[ SFW ] - Britney forgot to tuck away her tampon string.

la la la la la posted on 04/27/09 by Opie

Quick Q and A

Q: How do you get a Jewish girls number?
A: Roll up her sleeve.

Crazy John Mayer fan.

Gas pump prank.

Self dunk.

Cow VS Train.

Looked like that hurt.


Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles and disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug consumption problem all over the world.

After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion that in order to better deal with the problem, that they should try the drugs themselves and then decide on the correct way to proceed.

It was therefore decided that a commission made up of some of the members return to earth to get the different types of drugs.

The secret operation is effected and two days later the commissioned disciples begin to return to heaven.

Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple:

"Who is it?"
"It's Paul"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Paul?"
"Hashish from Morocco"
"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"
"It's Mark"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Mark?"
"Marijuana from Colombia"
"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"
"It's Matthew"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Matthew?"
"Cocaine from Bolivia"
"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"
"It's John"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring John?"
"Crack from New York"
"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"
"It's Luke"
Jesus opens the door.
"What did you bring Luke?"
"Speed from Amsterdam"
"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"
"It's Judas"
Jesus opens the door.
What did you bring Judas?"



Great chat log.


Baby Hitler.


Nice helmet.


- FFL -

[NSFW] - Sluts.
[NSFW] - Cam girls.
[NSFW] - Busty MILF.
[NSFW] - Hot blonde.
[NSFW] - Naked teens.
[ SFW ] - Laughing baby.
[ SFW ] - NFL draft busts.
[NSFW] - Fuck real pussy.
[ SFW ] - Amish Gone Wild.
[NSFW] - She has great tits.
[NSFW] - Very hot brunette.
[NSFW] - Suicide girls are hot.
[ SFW ] - Crazy ASIAN dance song.
[ SFW ] - New rack on Google Maps.
[ SFW ] - Top Gun remake.. With cars!
[ SFW ] - Farts & Queefs. (Southpark)
[ SFW ] - Yeah but not from that hole.
[ SFW ] - ASIAN beatboxer. Really good.
[ SFW ] - This game is fun and annoying.
[ SFW ] - Taliban Soldier Song. Good stuff.
[ SFW ] - 100 ladies dancing to Single Ladies.
[ SFW ] - Blindfolded kickboxing looks like fun.
[ SFW ] - A whole bunch of great movie lines.
[ SFW ] - Let's bang our head on watermelons.
[ SFW ] - Heineken Walking Fridge (A new one)
[ SFW ] - Beyonce's real voice is freaking horrible.
[ SFW ] - Apparently this guy likes peanut butter.
[ SFW ] - Naked guy gets tased for being an idiot.
[ SFW ] - Popeyes ran out of chicken. Sorry niggers.
[ SFW ] - This is fucking cool. (Slow motion coolness)
[ SFW ] - Pay attention kids! Time to slit my wrist now.

shits weak posted on 04/24/09 by Opie

Note: OK, the forums are closed and now I can get back to the usual site stuff.

What the fuck?

Pig got shocked.

Sneezing in slow motion is nasty.

He said fucking. And then "OOPS"

Back flip on a bike.


Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' 'Eight', the boy replied.

The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?' The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.

We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike.

Right now, he can't do none of those'.

- FFL -

[NSFW] - Sluts.
[NSFW] - Hotties.
[ SFW ] - Nice ass.
[ SFW ] - Fun game.
[NSFW] - Sexy ASIAN!
[NSFW] - Big ass titties!
[NSFW] - Amateur orgy.
[ SFW ] - MLB 2k9 sucks.
[NSFW] - All natural babe.
[ SFW ] - I like all of these.
[ SFW ] - Birthday Song Dog.
[ SFW ] - Cool things in space.
[NSFW] - 1 Guy 1 Screwdriver.
[ SFW ] - SKEET Fighter.. haha
[NSFW] - Sex in the locker room.
[NSFW] - Get a date for the weekend.
[ SFW ] - Back to the future Hoverboard.
[NSFW] - Let's all fuck in the court room.
[ SFW ] - Muppets 11 (Oceans 11 Spoof)
[ SFW ] - How vaginas were called beavers.
[ SFW ] - So this is where babies come from.
[NSFW] - Every Stewardess should be a slut.
[ SFW ] - Red House Furniture is the best store ever!

ninja posted on 04/22/09 by Opie


Look how they edited Snakes on a Plane for TV.

This church looks like fun!



The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset.

You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!" And Paddy (for it was he) replied, "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened.

"Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

And Paddy began -

"Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use, just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same..."

Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued, "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

"Please, ..... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use"

- FFL -

[NSFW] - Nerdy girl.
[NSFW] - Hot blonde.
[NSFW] - Porn reviews.
[ SFW ] - Snuggie Porn.
[NSFW] - Sexy amateur.
[NSFW] - Internet bitches.
[NSFW] - College girl orgy.
[ SFW ] - I drink everyday.
[ SFW ] - Kid does Mr. Roboto.
[NSFW] - They crave the cock.
[ SFW ] - BBQ and a Foot Massage.
[ SFW ] - I love Jennifer Love Hewitt.
[ SFW ] - The best B-day present ever.
[ SFW ] - Dancing Chihuahua. I laughed.
[ SFW ] - Movie stars who die the most.
[ SFW ] - Steve-O is having a new show.
[ SFW ] - Thug Nigga is the best rap ever.
[ SFW ] - A bunch of bad unicorn tattoos.
[ SFW ] - Inappropriate Science Fair Projects.
[ SFW ] - Cop (IN BLUE JEANS) arrests journalists.
[ SFW ] - 5 Things You Didn't Know About Garbage.
[ SFW ] - What kind of idiot came up with this name.
[ SFW ] - Let Me Twitter Dat music video. Good stuff.
[ SFW ] - "Added menstrual blood to her employer's food"

weed day posted on 04/20/09 by Opie

Chucks last fight? (No Silva fight, it was horrible)

Aleksander Emelianenko (Fedor's brother) Vs Ricardo Morais

Kid Vs Beer Bong.

Pacman in real life.

You can't say cocksucker on TV.

Knees aren't suppose to bend that way.

Stripper FAIL!


An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.

The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.'

The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.'

The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.

The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, 'My hands are freezing cold.'

The girl replied, 'Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up.'

He did and warmed his hands.

The following day, the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.

He said, 'My nose is cold.'

The girl replied, 'Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up.'

He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving the daughter, and he said, 'My penis is frozen solid.'

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she says to her Mother, 'Have you ever heard of a penis?'

Slightly concerned the mother said, 'Why, yes, Why do you ask?'

The daughter replies: They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?

And a few FML

Today, my car got a flat tire. I jacked up my car, removed the flat and went to get my spare out of the trunk. Where my spare is supposed to be I found a note. It said "You're a bitch - John". John is my ex boyfriend. He borrowed my car the day we broke up, apparently he stole my spare tire too. FML

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML



Ad wars.

Chloroform always works. Available at Walmart.

Free deer!

Photoshop FAIL.


No words for this.

Lazy mom.

If I had a unicorn horn I would stab the shit out of people.

- FFL -

[NSFW] - Sluts.
[NSFW] - Big tits.
[ SFW ] - $9 Tees!
[ SFW ] - Sexy teens.
[ SFW ] - Sniper game.
[NSFW] - Webcam sex.
[NSFW] - Sick party tricks.
[ SFW ] - Good time waster.
[ SFW ] - I drink every day.
[ SFW ] - Dr. Phil prank call.
[NSFW] - Head Cheerleader.
[ SFW ] - Double cunt punch!
[ SFW ] - Holy shit she is hot.
[NSFW] - 1 man 1 jar. Oh lawd.
[ SFW ] - Unreal X-ray pictures.
[ SFW ] - Mario Kart: Death Race.
[ SFW ] - Breakup Warning Signs.
[ SFW ] - Hit a bird going 180mph.
[ SFW ] - This is a cool USB drive.
[NSFW] - Now this is a private show.
[ SFW ] - These pics aren't shopped.
[ SFW ] - XXX Brady Bunch? Awesome.
[ SFW ] - Women drivers. Enough said.
[ SFW ] - Yep, a great WTF music video.
[ SFW ] - How to pee with a boner hahaha.
[ SFW ] - This might make you quit smoking.
[ SFW ] - 21 of the dumbest criminals. (So far)
[ SFW ] - Con Air: Pinball's T-Shirt.. Good stuff..
[ SFW ] - Inglorious Basterds is going to be bad ass.
[ SFW ] - Cool suicide scene. Movie was dumb though.
[ SFW ] - I like how the Pop-Tarts are in the mug shot.
[ SFW ] - 100 Unintentionally Hilarious Spam Subject Lines.
[ SFW ] - Dodge the refrigerators.. Don't worry it gets hard.
[ SFW ] - Exclusive Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Footage.

penis sandwich posted on 04/17/09 by Opie

CH did this perfectly. Very funny!

Passing out on live TV is great.

The intro to Different Strokes re-edited.

It's like he said "Fuck it"

20ft back flip.

Poor wheelchair lady.

Star Wars and Macgyver mix up.

He's good at riding bikes.

Fuck My Life (

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and gave them a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

Today, I was at the aquarium with my boyfriend. I ran to my favorite section: the petting section and started petting a sea slug. My boyfriend eventually came up next to me and I jokingly told him "this feels a lot like your cock". When I turned to him, it was a random 10 year old boy. FML

Today, I saw an commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in on the dish and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commercial. FML


Biggest idiot ever.

Monsters VS Aliens

Like asking for a heart attack.



Oh look who joined the party.

Let's put lights in all frogs.

I would have done the exact same thing.

- FFL -

[ SFW ] - Nice legs.
[NSFW] - Big ol tittes.
[NSFW] - Porn for you.
[ SFW ] - Boxing game.
[NSFW] - Amateur girls.
[ SFW ] - Forget Waldo.
[NSFW] - 2 girls, 1 dude.
[NSFW] - I love fishnets.
[NSFW] - Facebook sluts.
[ SFW ] - Dancing hottie.
[NSFW] - Porn video sites.
[NSFW] - Hot cheerleader.
[ SFW ] - Hey Look a Squirrel!
[ SFW ] - Free iPod Diagnostics.
[ SFW ] - Squirrel MMA Figting.
[ SFW ] - Let's snort Jack Daniels.
[ SFW ] - LEGO Battleship is huge!
[ SFW ] - Ashton Kutcher VS CNN.
[ SFW ] - Crazy lady in a car chase.
[ SFW ] - Black light butt. Very nice.
[ SFW ] - A wolf loves pork. Strange.
[ SFW ] - Bacon can melt metal, neat.
[ SFW ] - Yeah OK this is fucking weird.
[ SFW ] - Hunting wolves in fucking eagles!
[NSFW] - So this is how you make a girl cum.
[NSFW] - Bad way to find out if she's cheating.
[ SFW ] - Things you didn't know about pirates.
[ SFW ] - ASIANS sing about being cool. Catchy.
[ SFW ] - Those Dominos workers were arrested.
[ SFW ] - Lindsay Lohan making fun of herself. Awesome.


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