How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below) posted on 06/15/04 by Opie

How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)



Best Bud commercial ever.
Fun Fact: Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.



What a bum.



I'd hit it.



Why can't this wigger bitch look like this more often?



I used to do this in 3rd grade. (Both years)
Q and A

Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A. A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q. How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
A. Give it a nipple.

Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.

Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.



Sucks to be in jail.



I just can't put my mouse on it...



I told you I wanted NO PICKLES!
Owned!



Doggie, skeet, balls.



That's sweet.



Smokey knows.



I don't know how he got in there.



Yahoo is racist.
Another joker

Theres this guy and hes stranded on an island with a pig and a dog.

Hes been out there for a while and he's getting kind of horny, but whenever he tries to get it with the pig, the dog always bites him in the ass.

So one day, this guy sees the most beautiful girl drowning out in the ocean. He swims out and saves her, brings her back to the island.

Now this pretty girl, clothes tattered, hair shimmering with seawater, goes to her savior. "You saved my LIFE! I owe you everything! I'll do anything for you." The guys like anything? The girls says" ANYTHING!"

The guys says "Can you take my dog for a walk?"

70 comments Yo, pass that cheese posted on 06/14/04 by Opie

I'm back from Six flags, it ruled. Also I've ben noticing the server bogging down as of late and that is because more RAM is needed. I put the order in so it will be fixed shortly.(Edit: Added)

You should also know that some post may be big, some may be small. Don't waste your time bitching, it's useless. I'm trying to get the older sections back up to date such as the downloads, tutorials, and features.

ANYWAY..



Iraqi getting shot. Going to bitch at this one?
Q and A

Q:What do you call a White guy surrounded by five Black guys?
A:Coach

Q:What do you call a White guy surrounded by ten Black guys?
A:Quarterback

Q:What do you call a White guy surrounded by 300 Black guys?
A:Warden

Q: What's a similarity between women and rocks?
A: You skip the flat ones.



Quack. (This is shopped)
Log (This is a different one)

[Cthon98] hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
[Cthon98] ********* see!
[AzureDiamond] hunter2
[AzureDiamond] doesnt look like stars to me
[Cthon98] [AzureDiamond] *******
[Cthon98] thats what I see
[AzureDiamond] oh, really?
[Cthon98] Absolutely
[AzureDiamond] you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
[AzureDiamond] haha, does that look funny to you?
[Cthon98] lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
[AzureDiamond] thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
[Cthon98] yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
[AzureDiamond] awesome!
[AzureDiamond] wait, how do you know my pw?
[Cthon98] er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
[AzureDiamond] oh, ok.

A doctor was in the delivery room delivering a baby.

He pulls the baby out and slams it on the table, as the mom looks at him he laughs and says just kidding it was already dead

- FFL -

- Batter up.
- Haha OMFG!
- Homo pants.
- Bulldozer fun.
- Celebrity porn.
- Only at Denny's.
- Naked bike ride eh?
- Fake or fake boobs?
- Realdoll vs. Superbabe.
- Starbucks commercial.
- Victoria's Secret mess up.
- Penis penis penis.. In a jar.
- What? Negroes? Get out.
- What a dumb little cursor.
- What's wrong with this guy?
- Lose weight by "cutting a rug".
- Dang, another Internet thug.
- Minnie Mouse fetish or something?
- Dumb Midi songs with animated gifs.
- I wish I had milk in my tittas, I'd squirt ya.
- I love me some beating off to Nuns baby.
- I don't know. You figure this fetish out.
- It wasn't me, it was the one armed man!
- I wish I was cool enough to do lighter tricks.
- Funny Photoshop fun from SA members. (20 pages)
- I don't think so Tim. Be good to them and they wont cheat.
- This is funny when the girls walk by. The rest is mocking TV shows.
- I need 9000 ladybugs for this porn experiment. (Read the comments too)

64 comments GAMES ARE FUN! posted on 06/11/04 by Opie



Don't know about you, but I'm sport'n wood.



HEY! There's a stage there, someone should move it.



They should join the circus.
Q and A (Seems to be a new E-trend)

Q: Why is interrogating a Mexican like pool?
A: The harder you hit, the more English you get out of it.

Q: How do you stop a black person from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: What do you call a black man in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico ever do good in the olympics?
A: Because any of them who can run, jump or swim are already in the U.S.

Q: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Star Trek?
A: Because they wont work in the future either.

Q: What do you use to blindfold an Asian?
A: Dental floss.



She must be French.



Flying dog. Crazy.



Fo' Bizzle



Would be funnier if I had this 5 months ago.



Super size mine please.



Hold on a sec, Mom wants to join in.



Jews beware, we've teamed up.



Nice pool table.



This isn't funny.. IT'S PURTY!



OOPS at the news.



I'm Mr. Bucket.. Balls pop out of my mouth.
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel reservations.

So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday and his wife flew down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile... somewhere in Houston, a woman had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister for many years and had been "called home to glory" following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2002

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking ng forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!

Who Doesn't Belong?




Plugs: Dirty Downloads!, Mr. Pitt, My Free Pay Site, Boffensive, Nude

- FFL -

- Good wife guide.
- SPUGGBOB huh?
- Crazy music video.
- Helen Keller jokes.
- Holy fucking raisin.
- Big gay Bubba. Haha
- Kind of like spiderman.
- Do you yahoo? hahaha
- What a stupid invention.
- Ok, my penis hurts now.
- Kung-fu and sex. Yummy.
- I love to fucking cuss. Shit.
- Mickey Mouse motherfuckers.
- Damn already? He just died folks.
- OOPS.. more dead baby jokes.
- Someone give this guy a rainbow.
- This is more corny than my poop.
- Old commercials.. Ah the memories.
- Only an Asian would have this name.
- I think she's going to kill herself, Neat.
- Feeling down, depressed, or just plain stupid? Kill yourself.
- Why would you want to stop? It's fun while covered in Jell-O.
- Here's some nerd-e-ah-tic people. (Yes, I made that word slash up)
- This PETA commercial makes me want to beat my meat. (That was some sort of pun)

72 comments Pickles and Celery posted on 06/09/04 by Opie



"Saw" looks like an awesome movie.

Yep, Q and A time

Q: What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
A: The PGA tour.

Q: What does a Keebler elf and a white man have in common?
A: They both make crackers!

Q: What's black and blue and floats?
A: A white guy who told too many black jokes.

Q: How do black women fight crime?
A: By having an abortion.

Q: Why do white people go to black people'ss garage sales?
A: To get their stuff back.

Q: What do you call a white guy running track and field?
A: Second.

Q: What is the first thing a black guy sees when he parks his car?
A: Red and Blue lights.

Q: Why do black people not like to go on cruises?
A: They already fell for that trick once.

Q: What's red and crawls up your leg?
A: A homesick abortion.

From the e-mail sent:

"Wife's ex friend accidently downloaded her naked pics of herself on my computer.

Wife's ex friend stole and forged checks from my family.

Wife's ex friend naked pics have floating around.

Family got the money back from the bank, internet got a all over look of this bitch.

owned"



I'd hit it
- FFL -

- Cough.
- He's purty.
- Suicide help.
- Do your thing.
- Peter Brady band.
- Slurpee time killer.
- Who let the dogs out?
- 9k for some fucking shoes?
- Internet people are weird.
- Haha @ Bush. Audio edits are fun.
- ROFL COPTER! The music rules too.
- I hope I don't ever get hemorrhoids.
- Virtual Woman. Make her get naked.
- Gator wrestling under Accounting/Auditing.
- One small doggie.. It needs to..GET IN MY BELLY!!!
- Cool Tae-kwon-do stuff. (Cool Asians.. They still crazy)

Rest of the stuff tomorrow fuckers (If I have time), then I'm off to Dallas.

83 comments Cheez-its and Raisins posted on 06/08/04 by Opie

Did you know that scientists have discovered that AIDS is not a disease?

It's a miracle, it turns fruits into vegetables.

Yikes! It's Q and A time.

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
A: Fo' Drizzle.

Q: What is black, has 4 legs, and goes ho dee doe?
A: Two black guys running for the elevator.

Q: What do 3 million abused women do wrong every year?
A: They don't fucking listen.

Q: What's the first thing a woman does after coming out of the abuse shelter?
A: Cook dinner if she knows what's good for her.

Q: What did the black kid get for Christmas?
A: My bike.

Q: What do you get when you cross a black person with an Octopus?
A: Who knows, but it sure can pick cotton.

Q: What's the difference between sand and abortion?
A: You cant drink sand.

Q: What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in a pile of leaves?
A: Raisin Brand.

Q: What's faster than a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with your VCR.

Q: Why are there more black people than Indians?
A: We haven't played Cowboys and Black people yet.

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.

Q: What's 11 + 46 + 14?
A: A threesome with Michael Jackson.

Q: What do you call a little mexican?
A: A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay.

You guys have to do better than this:

Q: What do Caucasians and toilets have in common?
A: They're both white and smell like shit.

We need to make fun of white people more, all I get submitted are old redneck jokes, about fucking each others sister.



He scared that brotha white.



Spray some Windex on it and shut up.



Well, he is a ref for soccer.



and THEN he spells it.. haha
One more..

A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"

"Africa," says the parrot.



Mmmm Britney.



Big ass tittas.



Yes, those are 20 dollar bills.



Where's the purty rainbow in the back?



Oops.



Somebody in this picture is happy.



It's a Yahoo whore.
Why not a corny one?

A Pirate walks into a bar and he has a steering wheel hanging from his crotch.

This dude asks him "Hey dude, Why do you have a steering wheel on your crotch?"

The Pirate replies "ARRR its driving me nuts."

- FFL - (Right click , "save target as" on the vids)

- Shrek 1. (DIVX)
- Sniper practice.
- Holy shit a pencil.
- This cop has skills.
- Picture of everything.
- Care to explain this one?
- These puzzles are CRAZY!
- Another Pingu game. I like it.
- You got served! (In parking)
- Fuck a personality? I'd hit it.
- What the fuck.. Nasty asses.
- P-DOUBLE has 16 Friends!!!!!
- Directors Cut. (Photoshop fun)
- My name is Bob an I'm a Viagraholic.
- Something funny from Canada.. Weird.
- Uh oh it's white trash.. For real this time.
- It's a camera in jail.. No porn action yet..
- If you really need a manual you should try porn.
- I'd love to meet the guy that tested these out.
- Hey, another one of those cool Urban Legends things.
- If someone did this to me I would be in jail. (Nasty shit)

107 comments burp posted on 06/07/04 by Opie

Just some links for you whiny fucks today. I'll have time to go through the other stuff tonight. (There's quite a bit)

- FFL -

- About time.
- Where's Waldo?
- Dead Celebrities.
- Cool pool game.
- Asshole dad alert.
- Transformers rule.
- Crazy Asian toilet.
- Stuff about pussy.
- New flossing method.
- What the hell.. grrrr.
- I smell a suicidal girl.
- My banana brings the..
- What's a girl to do? haha
- Password = qcrew. (Porn)
- Where's the part for genitalia?
- Don't get crushed by the Elephant.
- Someone give this girl a blue ribbon!
- This is so R Kelly, but you'll still laugh.
- Hack your cell phone... and fuck it up.
- Kind of like that movie The Rocketeer.
- Hey check it out, it's a little walking tire.
- These guys can play the drums. Go them.
- Possibly then dumbest thing ever written.
- Want to piss off the RIAA? Album dump here.
- Who would want to watch a dead person rot?
- Maybe they should try fixing that cancer thing first.
- Cyber sex logs. I'm in about 3 of them, they owned me.
- Hey kids! Now you can write to your very own prisoner.
- Funny thing is that I still get e-mails for this fucking tape.
- Guys acting like retards. Probably not much acting going on.

61 comments HAHAHA I HAVE INTERNET!!!!!! k. posted on 06/04/04 by Opie

Ok this is really Tuesday's post and I will have to go through the rest tonight and the weekend. THEN get yet another big post for you guys.(Monday) Here's an idea on the stuff I have to go through.

Now I'm off to work, then get drunk....

Q: Why are aspirins white?
A: Because they work.



In your face bitch!



Troy's top 10 nipple slips.



I wish I had more hands... (Turn speakers up)



Haha.



Turtle wax.



Looks like someone hit her with a bag of nickels.



How are those staying? (Image from a postcard)
- FFL -

- YEAHHHHHHH.
- Random tittas.
- What the... gay.
- Funny Star Trek flash.
- Is this for real? No way.
- God DAMN bedwetters.
- Nail them to the wall instead.
- Stoner site. (Alt + F4 to close)
- A towel and glove works the same.
- Oh look, yet another odd porn fetish.
- I still hate spiders. If I saw these, I'd kill em'.
- He looks like one of those Cabbage Patch dolls.
- Is this game for kids with downs or something?
- This will guess your number.. I sense voodoo at work.
- How is that revenge? I watch gay porn. (If both chicks are hot)
- 5 dolla hoe.. I mention she's 13 and retarded? That can't be good.
- First girl to buy this and e-mail me a picture of them wearing it gets a shiny gold star.

102 comments Read me posted on 06/02/04 by Opie

Bad weather down here in Louisiana and I don't have my internet. (Doing this on dial-up)... New stuff as soon as it passes. Should be back on when I get off work.

Yes, this is the reason for no post today and probably tomorrow too.

Edit I still don't have any fucking internet connection except this shitty dial-up. It’s “supposed" to be back on before 5pm Friday, so we'll have to wait and see.

Anyway since I already had Tuesday's post done (I was about to upload before the power went off) I'll just go through the stuff you guy's sent in the past few days and add it to that post. Hopefully I can get you something to mess with for the weekend. If not, e-mail time warner and tell them to fix S'port La's goddamn cable.

P.S. I haven't checked my e-mail in over two days, so be patient and stuff. Also, I'll be banning the idiots making those stupid comments in this post. You can believe whatever you want, why the hell would I care?

155 comments So this baby seal walked into a club.. posted on 06/01/04 by Opie



This is too funny.



On the left.. Old bombing. - On the right.. Clean up on aisle Six.



On the left.. I hope this is a joke. - On the right.. Dumb kids.
Hey KIDS! It's Q and A time (Get your legal pads out)

Q: Why is the world like a bag of jelly beans?
A: Because no one really likes the black ones.

Q: How do you get all the Ethiopians into a Phone Booth?
A: Throw in a can of beans

Q: How do you get them all back out again?
A: Run past them with the can opener!

Q: What's black up close and white far away?
A: A cotton field.

Q: What was the last thing that went through Kurt Cobain's mind when he shot himself?
A: The roof of his mouth.

Q: Whats red and blue and doesn't like sex very much?
A: A rape victim.

Q: How do you make a black guy wear a condom?
A: Put a Nike logo on it.

Q: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada?
A: They can't run that far.

Q: Why Do Black People Get So Tall?
A: Because they're Knee-grows!

Q: Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
A: He's black.

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

Get click happy with these images






Try this one your friends.

You: There are three black roosters on a perch, sitting in a row, how many wings do they have all together?

Friend: 6

You: Right, now how many feet do they have all together?

Friend: 6

You: And Beaks?

Friend: 3

You: Now a white cat walks by, how many hairs are on its tail?

Friend: How the hell should I know?

You: Well, it seems that you know to much about black cock, and not enough about white pussy.

Plugs: b0g, Naked girls., Get ripped Abs

- FFL -

- G.A.Y.
- Metal cat.
- This is fun.
- HAHA What?
- Scar is Hitler.
- Badger.. Kerry.
- Shoot Mexicans.
- Can we say idiot?
- E.T. phone poon.
- Park the Caravan.
- Death by Caffeine.
- I like the headline.
- Crazy Asian flash.
- Pretty cool animation.
- How to tune a guitar.
- WE GOT A SQUIRTER!
- X gonna give it to ya.
- Two words.. Fuck that.
- Lord of the Raised Sword.
- Coke and porn, what a mix.
- Slip N Slide. (Ass and Tittas)
- Wanta buy a slave? (Saved)
- I wish I was as cool as him.
- Whoa, how cool is this site?
- Super Mario.. The True Story.
- Ogre Porn! (Don't click the links)
- Dead babies. (Graphic and stuff)
- What's that image on the left about.
- Check out this super cool rap video.
- Gay site of the day award goes too..
- Uhh what the hell kind of fetish is this?
- So this is where all the white trash goes.
- I guess he really choked his chicken huh?
- Some of you idiots be sure to try this out.
- She wants to be three inches tall. Weirdo.
- Be sure you try this on homeless people first.
- That chick at the top looks like Jessie Spano.
- Here's some great tips on how to kill yourself.
- I guess this site is for "less fortunate" people.
- Naked cartoons. Not my thing, but some are funny.
- Nasty shit 1. and - Nasty shit 2. (Graphic and stuff.)
- End of the world is coming? Read it through. (I smell Bullshit)
- We have a professional baby-sitter here, and check out her boyfriend.
- Comedy Central tops all the soundboards with all the Chappelle goodies.

122 comments