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7/04/24: Archives all updated!
» Later than usual posted on 08/11/06 by Opie

Remember "The Ultimate Showdown"? This is the Orgy version.

She gets mad at him.

Just wait for it.

Some cool ways to open beer.

How to use a fleshlight.


A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Someone sent in a game

If you live near a park or someone who has ducks this will provide you with hours of entertainment.

I’m not talking about the little kind that fly in the wild, I’m talking the big white ones that you see in parks.

Here’s what you do. Get a roll of kite string and tie a piece of bacon fat to one end.

Tie it on real good. Let out about 20 or 30 feet of string and tie the other end to a tree near the ducks.

Bacon fat will slide right through a ducks digestive system without any harm to the duck.

A duck will eat the end of the string and it will pass through him in about 20 minutes.

The next duck will come along and eat it.

Same process. The fun is to see how many you can get on your string.

- FFL -

- Gold dildo!
- Free galleries.
- Zombie Storm.
- Pumpin' pussy.
- Girls Gone Wild.
- My baby is black.
- Hard in the butt.
- Are you healthy?
- Teen gang bang.
- Silverback Gorilla.
- Supersize Special.
- Haha, just watch.
- These are drawings.
- Girls playing with balls.
- Uh oh, jammin' the Elton.
- I could never be a Mormon.
- World strip poker is coming..
- I want to pillage your village.
- A blood shower would be fun.
- This looks like fun until the end.
- 18 y.o girlfriend giving a blowjob.
- How to make your GF drink cum.
- This little German fucker is crazy.
- Going to call major horseshit here.
- Killed his Mom, then preserved her.
- Why would they a need a toilet map?
- Be very cool by making shadow figures.
- Angelina Jolie's naked nipples and upskirt.
- It would suck to have a birthmark like this.
- This is a bad ass spider. Where's my bug spray.

» Witty comment posted on 08/09/06 by Opie


There's a flag up.

Quick Q and A

Q: What do cinder blocks and 300 lb women have in common?
A: They both get laid by Mexicans.

Q: What do women and condoms have in common?
A: If they aren't on your dick, they are in your wallet!


An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was probably just another false alarm and stayed put in his bed. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."

- FFL -

- Awwww.
- Paradise.
- Anal Sex?
- Sex tapes.
- Funny shirts.
- Keeley Hazell.
- I like them big.
- YouTube is mean.
- All the Kings Men.
- Disposable douche.
- Wild teen sex party.
- Drunk Avril Lavigne.
- Try and make goals.
- Cool ice car. (No pun)
- I rake in all the women.
- Fingering is so much fun.
- The simplest electric motor.
- I would like to be in this car.
- Teen slut loosing her virginity.
- Fantasy Football made easier.
- And I was looking for fellow rapist.
- I would like to visit Pee Pee island.
- Nobody cares if you're hit by a car.
- Why can't she just show everything?
- Learn how to dance Miami Vice style.
- Jacking off with a mask and snorkel on.
- Carson Daly looks like a white Ethiopian.
- Holy shit, where the hell is this beach at?
- A laptop with protection. (Special effects?)
- Haha sad but there were 21 people in that vehicle.
- Remember those guys that lit that turtle on fire? Busted.

» My sons Walker and Texas Ranger posted on 08/07/06 by Opie

Hey fuckers!! Read this!!

If you see something like this. <--Click that dumbass.

Don't be dumb and click yes. I'm working on getting it straighten out, because it's not suppose to do that. You should only get a few pop-ups a day which of course is needed for server bills.

Any questions, feel free to e-mail me.

Double back flip on a dirt bike!

Some X Games crashes.

Britney is weird. (I'd still do her)

Nice parking job.

Watch out for the bus.


A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer.

She sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side...You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, get the fuck away from me."

Joke #2

Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas—are sitting around a fire. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, “Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands.”

The Arkansan replies, “Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its head off, and spit the poison into a spittoon 15 yards away.”

The Texan stays quiet, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

- FFL -

- Fresh Babes.
- MILF Gallery.
- Famous homes.
- Funny T-shirts.
- This scares me.
- Dog's eye view.
- Carli Banks strip.
- Free porn for you.
- Funny Barbie story.
- Horse racing game.
- Bump keys are crazy.
- A bunch of hot chicks.
- Snakes on a plane bitch!
- I remember her from TV.
- Girls getting naked. Etc..
- Snakes on A Plane: Phobia.
- Declassified Soviet material.
- Added to "People to kill" list.
- Can people not drive Mustangs?
- This doesn't make much sense.
- Big real titties in a tennis match.
- Take a guess on which clip to watch.
- A parody of Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy".
- Look at all these fucking caterpillars.
- This could be called a 96. (Thai chick)
- The UK would have something like this...
- I like these titties. They're fake though.
- Doug Funnie dubb over. (Under the videos)
- Head-on Apply directly to the forehead. (AHHH)
- This is funny because in 6th grade a dude did this at school.

» abcdefghihk... posted on 08/04/06 by Opie

Shooting people with a paintball gun then...

So I guess that half a brain joke isn't needed.

Funny crash. Idiots.

Great chopper ad.

Golfball prank.

Uh, cheap shot.


A guy goes to his doctor because he’s been having problems remembering things. After a battery of tests the doctor says, "Unfortunately, I have bad news, and I have very bad news."

"What’s the very bad news?" the man asks warily.

"Well," says the doctor, "our tests show that you have cancer and only have three weeks to live."

"Oh, my God!" says the man. "Well, what’s the bad news?"

"Our tests indicate that you also have Alzheimer’s disease," says the doc.

"Well, I can always look on the bright side," says the man. "At least I don’t have cancer!"


Would it be racist to draw a black guy in the sand?

Half dog half horse.

No shit.

I'll take the ass.

Cool cake.

Several has said this is real, I call bullshit.

Ms. Lohan is quite the little bitch.

- FFL -

- Facelift.
- Sex is good…
- Train Graffiti.
- Fighting is cool.
- Teen cameltoe.
- Sexist T-shirts.
- Sex with a robot.
- No G.I.L.F for me.
- Amateur sex vid.
- Shoot the bottles.
- This game is neat.
- Anna Kournikova.
- Gold plated porsche.
- Smack my bitch up.
- Mel Gibson is a Jew.
- Tearing that ass up.
- Hello Melissa Midwest.
- Young lesbians are fun.
- Pam and Brett sex tape.
- A new "call on me" video.
- Eww, The Grudge 2 trailer.
- Fighting games are always fun.
- Send free text messages online.
- Next Door Nikki on Jerry Springer.
- Cutting a video card so it will fit.
- This just in.. Penelope Cruz is CR-AZY!
- Pot smokers are stupid. Here's proof.
- Jessica Simpson in a see-through dress.
- We need commercials like this in the states.
- Samuel L. Jackson will send you a motha fuckin' message!

» Whack day posted on 08/02/06 by Opie

W.O.W time

Nasty sex, but APPARENTLY something was funny.


A man walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms.

Paying for them, he bursts into laughter and walks out of the store. The next day he comes in again, again buys condoms, and again walks out laughing.

Thinking this is somewhat strange, the pharmacist asks his assistant to follow the man if he comes back. Sure enough, the man comes in the next day and walks out laughing.

This time the assistant goes after him, returning 20 minutes later.

"So did you follow him?" asks the pharmacist.


"Where did he go?"

"Your house."

- FFL -

- I'd hit it.
- Ass blaster.
- Perfect body.
- DDR freestyle.
- Exposed Girls.
- Get $400 free.
- Snake skin car.
- Twin sisters fucked.
- Alizee is fucking hot.
- Teenage sex goddess
- It's a meat cake. Nasty.
- Celebrity skin and some.
- Swedish girls and water.
- Buy some crazy T-shirts.
- Never pay a ticket again.
- May be a Sopranos game.
- This bitch must be stupid.
- Hot teens getting dressed.
- You can do it hottie dance.
- Faggots don't do yard work.
- Mel Gibson is going to rehab.
- There isn't a 9/11 conspiracy.
- Dating tips from John Tucker.
- Most popular Myspace chick.
- Go back to your home on Whore Island.
- Haha, look at this tattoo removal product.
- Man destroys town with armored bulldozer.
- China has gone mad and killed all their dogs.


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