Entensity.net - Updated Daily

� um posted on 08/28/09 by Opie

Check out this sequence of wildlife at a watering hole near Mexico...

Animals with a British accent.

What a cool teacher.

Fight in the stands.

Nixon's Long Lost Sextape
Quick Joke

So this guy goes down on his girlfriend. He says to her "Why is your pussy so big? Why is your pussy so big?"

She asks him, "Why did you ask that twice??"

He says, "I didn't"

- FFL -

[NSFW] - Holy tits!
[ SFW ] - War game.
[NSFW] - Naked ladies.
[NSFW] - Free porn DVDs.
[NSFW] - Sex and Facebook.
[ SFW ] - Pedobear at it again!
[ SFW ] - Very hot cock tease.
[ SFW ] - Zombie Apocalypse!!!
[ SFW ] - What the shit is this?
[ SFW ] - Ernesto the Flying Cat!
[ SFW ] - Complimenting Strangers.
[ SFW ] - Very strange music video.
[NSFW] - So wrong in so many ways.
[ SFW ] - Another idiot on Millionaire.
[ SFW ] - All girls should dress like this.
[ SFW ] - Kid Catches two fouls in a row.
[NSFW] - Haha she gets mad during sex.
[ SFW ] - Shit his Dad says is quite funny.
[ SFW ] - Read the reviews on this shirt. Haha
[ SFW ] - Kidnapped 18 years ago and found.
[ SFW ] - The new Batman game in 90 seconds.
[ SFW ] - Look how they steal shit at the beach.
[ SFW ] - 10 Commercials Before They Were Stars.
[NSFW] - Banging the neighbors fianc� and hair pulling.
[ SFW ] - LSU football players have it made. Cribs edition.
[ SFW ] - 15-year-old stripper's Grandma attacks cameraman.

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� oh yay it's porn day posted on 08/26/09 by Opie

W.O.W

He did it wrong.

MICHEAL JACKSON IS ALIVE!!!

I wish this would happen in real life.

Get naked or die!
Joke

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

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Holy shit! They're real!

Dumb as fuck.

Not sure what the hell he's doing..

Pixar and Dreamworks facts.

Nice ass.
- FFL -

[NSFW] - Hotties.
[ SFW ] - Perfect body.
[ SFW ] - Funny tattoos.
[ SFW ] - Come onnn tittie!
[NSFW] - Facebook whores.
[ SFW ] - Dog Thief in Training.
[ SFW ] - The MILF Era is over?
[ SFW ] - Skate falls and FAILS.
[ SFW ] - Coin tosses aren't fair.
[ SFW ] - Are you a freak in bed?
[NSFW] - Cam girls are the best.
[ SFW ] - Sexy chick with pink hair.
[ SFW ] - The Hangover Baby Carlos.
[NSFW] - She Never Makes It To School.
[ SFW ] - Bike Messenger vs. Inline Skater.
[ SFW ] - How cool, a computer power test.
[NSFW] - And mother of the year goes to...
[ SFW ] - How a USB Flash Drive is made. Neat.
[ SFW ] - Coroner rules Jackson's death homicide.
[ SFW ] - Puzzle game that should keep you busy.
[NSFW] - 19 YO Dorm Chick Gives Free Webcam Show.
[ SFW ] - Kid being Repo'd thinks he's Michael Jackson.
[ SFW ] - For anyone that loves to hunt ducks or geese.(skip to the 2min mark)
[NSFW] - Russian Teen Losing Her Virginity On Strangest Way You Have Ever Seen.

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� fflllllllll posted on 08/24/09 by Opie

Got site maintenance to do, enjoy the FFL.

- FFL -

[NSFW] - Naked teens.
[ SFW ] - Table dance fail.
[NSFW] - Yay for the orgy!
[NSFW] - Sex on Facebook.
[ SFW ] - Fun shooting game.
[NSFW] - Homemade sex tape.
[NSFW] - When Viagra Fails you.
[NSFW] - Damn, she's fine as hell.
[ SFW ] - Yay for half naked girls.
[ SFW ] - How to look dead sexy.
[NSFW] - College girl with nice tits.
[ SFW ] - Worst fashion idea ever.
[ SFW ] - Dexter season 4 preview!
[ SFW ] - Tattoo and naked girl. Yes.
[ SFW ] - Sex in a MRI machine is graphic.
[ SFW ] - Um.. What the fuck? (He likes poop)
[ SFW ] - I'm on a Mother Fuckin Boat shirt.
[ SFW ] - Top 10 Colossal Celebrity Wipeouts.
[ SFW ] - Small penis alert posters. (Revenge)
[ SFW ] - 8-bit trip. Very cool lego stop motion.
[ SFW ] - Magician helps with wedding proposal.
[ SFW ] - Pokemon masters division champ! haha..
[ SFW ] - Lollapalooza 2009: The World's Best Dancer!
[NSFW] - How to shatter a friends jaw with nunchucks.
[ SFW ] - Top 10: Signs You've Been Single Too Long.
[ SFW ] - Guy walks around Walmart farting. I laughed.
[ SFW ] - Bumblebee costume that actually "Transforms".
[ SFW ] - I grew up on the rough streets of Sesame Street.
[ SFW ] - Like figure skating, but with bikes. Pretty cool actually.
[NSFW] - Asian Teen School Girl Gets Stuffed In All Holes After School.

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� District 69 would be a good porn title posted on 08/21/09 by Opie

Using the Igun app with road rage.

Kid is a champ at parking.

Holy head kick!

90% of you will laugh.

Rally Car Vs Horse.

Beware of automatic doors.

Pedo bear in real life!!!!!!

He gets mad on the porn set... haha

Guess what's inside his belly..
Joke

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

'Emma come First. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, They come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one Lasta Time.'

The lady can't take this anymore, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig.' She Retorted indignantly. 'In this country, we don't speak aloud on Public Places about our sex lives.'

'Hey, coola down lady, ' said the man.

'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a Justa Tellin my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi"

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HEY REF!

DAMN NIGGA!

He will not get a ticket.

I would like this.

Those chickens are fucked.
- FFL -

[ SFW ] - I spy..
[NSFW] - Find sex.
[ SFW ] - Sexy Shirts.
[ SFW ] - Close shave.
[NSFW] - Banging body.
[ SFW ] - Man Vs Retard!
[ SFW ] - MR. FUCKING T!
[NSFW] - Nice natural tits.
[NSFW] - The hottest teens.
[ SFW ] - Damn that's a nice ass.
[ SFW ] - Paralyzed Skateboarding.
[ SFW ] - Muslim swimwear.. What?
[NSFW] - Hello girl with big boobies.
[ SFW ] - Too fat for the trampoline.
[ SFW ] - Before they had boob jobs.
[NSFW] - If you like girls with pigtails.
[ SFW ] - Autotune Musical. Pretty good.
[ SFW ] - James Cameron's Avatar Trailer.
[ SFW ] - Aww he gave birth to a creature.
[NSFW] - Dogs that investigate human sex.
[ SFW ] - WHAT LANGUAGE IS HE SPEAKING!?
[NSFW] - Nurse sucks him off during physical.
[ SFW ] - ASIAN commercials are always funny.
[ SFW ] - Saddest death scenes in kids movies.
[ SFW ] - This must be some ninja video editing.
[ SFW ] - Don't even know wtf is going on here.
[ SFW ] - Chuck Norris Destroyed the Periodic Table!
[ SFW ] - Eiffel 65 Blue + Move your Body on a piano.
[ SFW ] - Think you can play multiple games at once?
[ SFW ] - Sooo is Jay Leno's new show going to funny?
[ SFW ] - Need to know a good time to pee at the movie theater?
[NSFW] - Won't be long before Christina Model is taking 14 inch nigger dicks.

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� short and sweet.. bitch posted on 08/19/09 by Opie

W.O.W

Condom FAIL!
Quick Joke

The captain of a cruise ship says to the passengers and crew. "I have some good news and some bad news! Which do you want to hear first?"

"The good news everyone screams".

Well, replies the captain.... We are probably getting 14 Oscars.

- FFL -

[NSFW] - Hot teens.
[ SFW ] - Racing game.
[NSFW] - Hey, nice tits.
[NSFW] - Hot foursome.
[NSFW] - Amateur sex tape.
[NSFW] - FACEBOOK OF SEX!
[ SFW ] - Yep, hers are bigger.
[ SFW ] - Worst bass player ever.
[ SFW ] - Baseball right to the head.
[ SFW ] - 25 funny homeless guy signs.
[ SFW ] - Sex Scene or Murder Scene?
[ SFW ] - Ferris Bueller's Day Off remix.
[NSFW] - Spy cam on her masturbating.
[NSFW] - All girls should be this naughty.
[ SFW ] - Why you shouldn't text and drive.
[NSFW] - Do all girls rub their twat on tables?
[NSFW] - Blonde with long legs and a nice rack.
[ SFW ] - Keep the heat without the commitment.
[NSFW] - Blonde Wife Does Amateur Porn On The Side.
[NSFW] - Rebecca Gayheart And Miss Teen USA Sex Tape.

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� rape time posted on 08/17/09 by Opie

He was suppose to do SLAPS ONLY!

Ninjas Gone Wild

Sniper takes care of his gun.

To much power?

Don't rob this woman.

ASIANS riding pigs.
For guys that need help with girls, Do this:

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words 'fuck you, ' and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold... but not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say, "If you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No, she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny.

25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will ensure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny!

Images

DAMN NIGGA!

I like his boat.

Send yours here

Don't put babies in here.

Homemade flat screen.

Shouldn't have your Mom as a friend anyway.
- FFL -

[NSFW] - GET LAID!
[NSFW] - Teen sluts.
[ SFW ] - $9 T-shirts!
[NSFW] - Very nice tits.
[NSFW] - Naked cam girls.
[NSFW] - Very hot sex tape.
[NSFW] - She gives good head.
[ SFW ] - Ants fighting each other!
[ SFW ] - Online dating for farmers!
[ SFW ] - Get her to play with herself.
[ SFW ] - So this is what's in hotdogs.
[ SFW ] - He was killed by a giant rock!
[ SFW ] - Soldier couldn't take the mase.
[NSFW] - Asian teen gets virginity taken.
[ SFW ] - Women MMA.. haha Bitch is bad.
[ SFW ] - The Hubble Telescope pictures in 3D
[ SFW ] - He's selling 4 kids bikes. HMMMMMM.
[ SFW ] - Goddamn Shakira is hotter than ever.
[ SFW ] - Red-Band trailer for Legion is bad ass.
[ SFW ] - World's First LS9 Powered 2010 Camaro.
[ SFW ] - This damn game will keep you for awhile.
[ SFW ] - Hilarious outtakes from furniture commercial.
[NSFW] - Daddy, What Are You Doing With My Panties?
[ SFW ] - Get ready for Bible study this year in Texas.
[ SFW ] - Can you guess the most common passwords?
[ SFW ] - The 10 Funniest Jeopardy Bloopers Of All Time.
[ SFW ] - Woman tasered in front of her kids in New York.
[ SFW ] - Kid talks about those Vanessa Hudgens nudes. Pretty funny.

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� yeah yeah posted on 08/14/09 by Opie

Dane Cook OWNS Vanessa Hudgens at Teen Choice awards.

This guy shoots himself with a 40 cal pistol. (In the arm)

Very large cyst popped. Very gross.

Single ladies dance fail with a special guest.

Let's pee on our drunk friends.
Joke

Dear TIDE,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.

Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!About a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband...

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.Well, I gotta go - I have to write to the Hefty bag people.

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