Funny Shit [Q and A]

Q: How do you kill a retard?
A: Give him a knife and say "Who's special?"

Q. Why is the Afghan air force so easy to train?
A. You only have to teach them how to take off.

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.

Q: How do you break up the "Million Man March"?
A: Fly overhead with helicopters and drop job applications.

Q: What do you call Vietnamese guy that wants to be black?
A: Vinegar.

Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine?
A: They both don't work and always take your money.

Q: Why are there only two pallbearers at a black guys funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.

Q: What kind of bees make milk?
A: A: BOO-BEES

Q: What do you call a black lady who complains?
A: A Nagger.

Q: What's the difference between bigfoot and a hard working black man?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: Did you hear about the black who died yesterday on Rt. 80?
A: He stuck his head out of the window at 100 mph and his lips beat him to death.

Q: How do you kill 50 flys?
A: Hit a Somalian in the face with a shovel.

Q: How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles?
A: Trust me.

Q: How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, it's a woman's job.

Q: Who are the two most famous black women in history?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mutha Fucker.

Q: Who is the best Jewish cook?
A: Hitler.

Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
A: The back of my hand.

Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Q: How man Sorority members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture.

Q: Whats the difference between 9/11 and the Tsunami?
A: About 97,000 more people I don't know or care about.

Q: What's white and goes up?
A: A snowflake with downs.

Q: Why do black people only have nightmares?
A: Because the last one that had a dream got shot.

Q: What did 50 Cent say to to his grandma after she knit him a sweater?
A: Gee, You knit?

Q: Why do you tend not to ask out the chick at the bar with the black eye?
A: Because you already know the bitch doesn't listen.

Q: Why can't Jesus eat m&m's?
A: Because he has holes in his hands.

Q: What would happen if you cut off your left side?
A: You would be all right.

Q: Why do girls like Jesus?
A: Cause hes hung like this *Hold arms up like Jesus on the cross*

Q: Why don't the Indonesians take showers anymore?
A: Because they are washing up on the beaches!

Q: Why is February Black History Month?
A: Cause it's the shortest month of the year.

Q. Why cant Mexicans have a barbeque?
A. The beans keep falling through the grill

Q: Why is hockey so racist?
A: Because it has bunch of white guys hitting a BLACK puck around.

Q: Why do black people need to use moisturizer?
A: So they don't crack up in the heat.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A baby.

Q: What does a black person and a soda machine have in common?
A: They both take your money and give you coke in return.

Q: What happens when a Mexican and an ASIAN make a baby?
A: A car thief who can't actually drive is born.

Q: Why were there only 600 Mexicans at the Alamo?
A: They only had two cars.

Q: How did Jews leave the concentration camps?
A: Through the chimneys!

Q: How do you blind an ASIAN?
A: You put a windshield in front of him.

Q: How many black college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but he gets 6 credits for it.

Q: Why can't Mexicans be firefighters?
A: They can't tell Jose from hose B.

Q: What do you call a fat kid with no arms?
A: Depressed

Q: What does a retard say to his dog?
A: Down, Syndrome!

Q: What would be the funniest thing to put in a black church.
A: The clapper.

Q: What's red and screams?
A: Skinned baby in salt.

Q: How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

Q: What do you call a black pilot?
A: Nigga with altitude.

Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: Put a windshield in front of her.

Q: What do you get when you cross JFK, Ernest Hemingway, Abraham Lincoln, and Kurt Cobain?
A: A complete skull.

Q: What sign does an epileptic Black person have around his neck?
A: I'm not break dancing.

Q: Why Did The Chicken cross the road?
A: Because a black guy was chasing it.

Q: What did usher say to the Jews?
A: Let it burn.

Q: What is Superman's greatest weakness?
A: A bucking horse.

Q: What is loud and obnoxious?
A: A woman.

Q: How do you feed a hungry Ethiopian?
A: Let them swallow.

Q:What's better than Honor ?
A: In her.

Q: What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
A: The black Jew has to sit in the back of the oven.

Q: What's the difference between a woman's period juice and quicksand?
A: You can't gargle quicksand.

Q: Why don't more black women have blonde hair?
A: How stupid do you want them to be?!

Q: What do you throw a drowning black man?
A: A rock.

Q: How many fags can you fit on a chair without stacking?
A: Four, If you flip the chair upside down.

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian kid taking a shit?
A: A show off.

Q: Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
A: Her teacher told her she had to do an essay.

Q: Why don't black people marry Mexicans?
A: Because they don't want their kids to be too lazy to steal.

Q: Why aren't there Mexicans in Star Trek?
A: Because they have no FUTURE.

Q: What's worse than spiders on your piano?
A: Crabs on your organ.

Q: How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff?
A:They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel.

Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?
A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father's business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin.

Q: Have you seen Stevie Wonder's latest CD?
A: No? Well, neither has he.

Q: Why are there no Puerto Rican doctors?
A: Because you can't write prescriptions with spray paint.

Q: What is the first sign of AIDS?
A: A Queer pounding in your ass.

Q: What do u call cheese that is not yours....
A: NATCHO CHEESE.

Q: What is Macaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing?
A: Neverland ranch.

Q: Why is it funny that blacks say "Yo Yo" a lot?
A: Yo-Yo's hang from strings.

Q: What did Hitler hate finding in his treasure chest?
A: Jewels!

Q: What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A: A brunette.

Q: Why aren't there any mexicans in Canada?
A: They can't run that far.

Q: How do they make roads in South Africa?
A: They make the black people lay down and have every other one smile.

Q: What's the difference between onions and prostitutes?
A: I cry when I cut up onions...

Q: How do you know Michael Jackson's on a date?
A: There's a power wheels parked outside of his house.

Q: How do you stop African Americans from surfing?
A: Hang 10.

Q: What do Indians make for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
A: A Canoe will eventually tip.

Q: What do you call a black guy in the middle of the ocean?
A: Pollution.

Q: What do you call a whole bunch of black people in the middle of the ocean?
A: Solution.

Q: What do you call 50,000 black people jumping out of a plane?
A: Night.

Q: Why can't Jesus play hockey?
A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

Q: Why do black people only chill and kick it?
A: Because they don't like to hang.

Q: A black guy and a Mexican jump off the Empire State Building. Who hits the ground first?
A: The Mexican, because the black guy had to stop on the way down and spray paint "mother fucker" on the wall.

Q: Why do police dogs lick their ass?
A: To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth.

Q: Why can't Sam ride a bike?
A: Because Sam has downs.

: What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control?
A: A trip without the kids!

Q: What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.

Q: Why is AIDS a miracle?
A: Because it turns fruits into vegetables.

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: How is a woman like a laxative?
A: They both irritate the shit out of you.

Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them...

Q:How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, feminists can't change anything.

Q: Why did God invent the yeast infection?
A: So women know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican with a Chinese?
A: Someone who can steal a car but can't drive it.

Q: Why do Jews have big noses?
A: Air is free.

Q: What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A: A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
A: Because they have cotton balls.

Q: What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
A: Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
A: They're hiring.

Q: Why is there no Disneyland in China?
A: No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

Q: What's the job application to Hooters?
A: They just give you a bra and say: Here, fill this out.

: What do they call a nigga with three food stamps?
A: Hungry.

Q: Whats the hardest part of rollerblading?
A: Telling your parents that you are gay.

Q: Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?
A: There's one less drunk.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven, eight, nine.

Q: How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they'd rather cry alone in the dark.

Q: What's sicker than having sex with a pregnant woman?
A: Having sex with a pregnant woman and getting a bj by the baby.

Q: How did the baby cross the road?
A: Being dragged behind the chicken.

Q: Why do Mexicans make refried beans?
A: Ever heard of a Mexican doing something right the first time..

Q: What do you call thirty five black guys in a room?
A: Bunch of Niggers.

Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate?
A: A liar.

Q: What do you call a black kid who passes the 2nd grade?
A: A cheater.

Q: What's yellow and black going off a cliff that makes you laugh?
A: A bus full of niggers.

Q: Why do black people have white palms?
A: White men made them wash their hands after using the restroom.

Q: What's another word for cocoon?
A: ninigger.

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby in a clown dress next to a kid with down syndrome?
A: Hummm... I don't know either

Q: Why is a black guy so afraid of a chainsaw?
A: Because it mocks him...."R-R-R-R-R-RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA"

Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
A: "I'll see you next month."

Q: Why are white guys so short?
A: Because the're cock-asian.

Q: What's even better than winning the Special Olympics
A: Not being a retard.

Q: What do you call a black man with no arms or legs?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What do you get when you mix a polock and a mexican?
A: Someone who mows your driveway.

Q: What do you call a gay dentist?
A: Tooth fairy

Q: What do you call a fag in a wheelchair?
A: Roll AIDS.

Q: What has 8 wheels and flies?
A: A Garbage truck

Q: What do you call a blonde with more than one brain cell?
A: Pregnant with a black kid.

Q: Why don't blacks play hide and seek?
A: No one will look for them.

Q: Why are nigger jokes so short?
A: So honkies can remember them.

Q: What's the number one speed modifications that blacks perform on cars?
A: Taking the Pizza Hut sign off.

Q: What do you say to a well dressed black guy?
A: Will the defendant please rise.

Q: What's the longest black joke?
A: The civil rights movement.

Q: How many babies can you fit into a telephone booth?
A: 389

Q: Why aren't there any niggers in the NHL?
A: Too many honkies with sticks.

Q: What do you call a school bus full of white people?
A: Twinkie.

Q: What did one tampon say to the other?
A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

Q: Why are lawn sprinklers racist?
A: Because they go: "spic, spic, spic, spic, - chink - nigga, nigga,nigga,nigga,nigga,nigga

Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
A: Last years hide and seek winner.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the worm?
A: She buried it alive.

Q: Why are blacks always holding their dicks?
A: It's the only thing the white man hasn't taken from him yet.

Q: Why didn't Ray Charles make it to heaven?
A: He couldn't see the light.

Q: What do you call a Mexican with a lowered car?
A: Carlos.

Q: Did you hear about the new "Blond" paint?
A: It's not too bright, but it spreads easy.

Q: What do you call 1000 Mexicans neck deep in the sand?
A: Not enough Sand.

Q: Whats funnier then a dead baby in a clown dress?
A: A dead baby in a clown dress next to a kid with down syndrome.

Q: What do a call a mexican walking barefoot on the beach?
A: Santos.

Q: What To Gay Horses Eat?
A: HAY

Q: What does the white man say on his anniversary?
A: Nothing. They divorce too much to have one.

Q: How many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: That's not funny.

Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto.

Q: What’s black and white and is rolling off the end of a pier.
A: A black guy and seagull fighting over a chicken wing.

Q: What'd the white guy say to the black guy?
A: Nigger.

Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
A: Quarter pounder with cheese.

Q: Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
A: Neither has he.

Q: Why did Hitler stop the Holocaust?
A: Because his gas bill was too high.

Q: What happens to giraffes when it rains?
A: They get wet

Q: What's the easiest way to get a black man down from a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: When does a midget need to be slapped?
A: When he walks up to you and say your hair smells pretty.

Q: What's a jew's favorite Disney movie?
A: Pinocchio.

Q: What kind of file makes a 1 inch hole into a 5 inch hole ?
A: A petafile.

Q: How do you kill a retard?
A: Shoot it in the face.

Q: Why does Bugs Bunny always outsmart Daffy Duck?
A: Because Daffy Duck is black.

Q: How do you get tickets to the Tampon 100?
A: Pull some strings.

Q: Who would win in a fight between Michael Bolton and Kenny G?
A: We all would.

Q: Why do black people have nice cars, and nice jewelry but still live in shitty houses?
A: They haven't figured out how to steal houses yet.

Q: What is the Cuban national anthem?
A: Why "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" of course!

Q: What did Abraham Lincoln say when he woke up with a hangover?
A: I freed the what?

Q: What is lazy and owns a lawnmower?
A: A Mexican with a job.

Q: What is funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby wearing a clown-dress.

Q: What did the blonde think when she saw a picture of herself?
A: She looks familiar.

Q: What is the difference between white fairy tales and black fairy tales?
A: White fairy tales start out, "Once upon a time," and black fairy tales start out, "You motherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit, but...."

Q: What does the KU KLUX KLAN have in common with anabolic steroids?
A: They both make black people run like fuck.

Q: What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A: kit-kat bar.

Q: What do you call two black people having sex?
A: Fucking Niggers...

Q: What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan.

Q: What's not functional, then even less functional?
A: A retard with a spoon jammed in it's throat.

Q: How do you get a one arm blonde out of the tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: What do you call a baby in the microwave?
A: I don't know, but it's fun to watch!

Q: Did you hear the one about the black rocket scientist?
A: Neither have I.

Q: What are Jehovah's witnesses favorite type of joke.
A: Knock knock jokes.

Q: How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
A: Soak it in gasoline and throw a lit match on it: "Woooof!"

Q: When does a black man become a nigger?
A: The moment he leaves the room.

Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?
A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: Why do u put a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you could see its face reactions.

Q: How is a woman like an airplane?
A: Both have cockpits.

Q: Why do they call it the wonder bra?
A: When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

Q: Why are African-American people the most picked-on race in the world?
A: Because they're Black.

Q: What has three teeth and 60 feet?
A: The front row at a Willie Nelson concert

Q: How does a blonde kill a bird??
A: Throw it off a cliff.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: Drown it.

Q: Why are white people called rednecks?
A: Because nigger was already taken.

Q: What's the only difference between a black man and a snow tire?
A: A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

Q: What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms?
A: Nigger nigger nigger.

Q: Why did the black guy pick the cotton?
A: Because my Great Grandfather told him to!

Q: What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A: A baby with forks in its eyes.

Q: What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A: A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.

Q: What did the black guy do with his M&Ms?
A: Eat them.

Q: What did they white guy try and do with his?
A: Put them in alphabetical order.

Q: Did you hear about the new black barbie?
A: Yeah it comes with 12 kids, AIDS, and a welfare check.

Q: Why aren't there any Wal Marts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.

Q: How do Germans tie their shoes?
A: With little knotsies (nazi's)

Q: Why did the Mafia cross the road?
A: Forget about it.

Q: What do you get when 10 black people are on the moon?
A: A problem.

Q: What do you get when 100 black people are on the moon?
A: A big problem.

Q: What do you get when all the black people are on the moon?
A: Problem solved.

Q: What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times?
A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

Q: What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?
A: A black person dressed for church.

Q: What is white with a black asshole?
A: The A-Team. (Even though Mr. T fucking rules)

Q: What do you get when you cross a black and a groundhog?
A: 6 more weeks of basketball season.

Q: How do you make a black guy nervous?
A: Take him to an auction.

Q: What do you call a black man in Thailand?
A: A tycoon.

Q: Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks?
A: You can drop them off anywhere.

Q: Why do rednecks like Ford
A: Because they can't spell Chevrolet.

Q: Did you hear about the new jewish condom?
A: Gives you a burning sensation!

Q: Why do blacks keep chickens in their back yards?
A: To teach their kids how to walk.

Q: Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for black people?
A: It comes in a spray can.

Q: Why was golf invented?
A: So white people get a chance to dress like black people.

Q: What's the fastest animal in the world?
A: The Ethiopian chicken.

Q: How do you fit 15 black guys in the back of a Cadillac?
A: Don't worry, they'll figure it out.

Q: What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person?
A: Neighbor.

Q: What do you call two black cops on motorcycles?
A: Chocolate chips.

Q: How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, it's a woman's job.

Q: How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, white men will screw anything.

Q: What do you call a girl with Pms and Esp?
A: A bitch who thinks she knows everything.

Q: How does a blind skydiver know he is about to hit the ground?
A: He feels slack in the leash.

Q: What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't moan when you put meat in it.

Q: What do you call a black smurf?
A: Smigger

Q: What did Hitler tell the black Jew to do?
A: Get to the back of the oven!

Q: What does dracula's girlfriend and a washed up boxer have in common?
A: They both go down for the count.

Q: What os white, red, and can't turn around in corners?
A: A baby with a javelin through its head.

Q: What is the difference between a black guy and a Monkey?
A: Monkeys hang from trees by their tails.

Q: What sound does a rednecks truck make as he starts it up?
A: Run Nigga Nigga Nigga

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?
A: It scares the shit out of their dogs!

Q:Why do black people eat tootsie rolls with a fork?
A: So they don't bite their fingers.

Q. Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A. The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

. What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
A. See you next month

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: In a catalog.

Q: How do u get a retard to kill itself??
A: You give him a knife and ask him who's special.

Q: What do you call a black guy behind bars?
A: Anything you want.

Q: What's pink, bubbly and scratches at the window?
A: Baby in the microwave.

Q: Why are black people like sperm?
A: Because only one out of a million work.

Q: How do you keep a black man out of your back yard?
A: Hang one in the front.

Q: Why do black people pat their head instead of scratching it?
A: Fuck if I know.

Q: How did Tiger woods get his first name?
A: He's half THAI and half nigGER.

Q: How do you make a baby drink?
A: Put it in a blender.

Q: What's better than 8 babies in a trash can?
A: One baby in 8 trash cans.

Q: How does every ethnic joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: What's the best part about spinning a baby around a clothes line?
A: Stopping it with a shovel.

Q: What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia?
A: Lefty!

Q: Why did God create the yeast infection?
A: So women could know what it's like living with an irritating cunt too.

Q: How do you know if an Asian robbed your house?
A: Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Q: What does a woman put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What's the one thing a black guy can't win?
A: Employee of the Month.

Q: What do you call a cracked out black guy running from the cops because he just got done raping a white girl?
A: Normal.

Q: Whats black, brown, and looks good on a black guy?
A: A rottweiler.

Q: What do you do if an epileptic person has a seizure in your bath tub?
A: Throw in the laundry.

Q: What do you call a mexican laying naked in the dirt?
A: Camouflage.

Q: What flavor of juice (jew-ss) did Hitler hate the most?
A: Mango.

Q: What is Bruce Lee's favorite hotel?
A: Hyatt (hi yat!)

Q: What's Jackie Chans favorite food?
A: Who-pah (Whopper)

Q: What sound does the l33t train make?
A: w00t! w00t!

Q: How many cops does it take to push a black guy down the stairs?
A: None, he fell *wink*

Q: What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
A: Water (What Ta)

Q: What drink did Hitler hate?
A: Juice. (jew-ss)

Q: Why did so many black people die in vietnam?
A: Because whenever the Sergeant said "get down" they all got up and danced.

Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A: Spit, swallow, and gargle,

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

Q: How do you get black people to stop hanging around your yard?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: How is a black guy like a broken gun?
A: It doesn't work and you can't fire it

Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A. A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q. How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
A. Give it a nipple.

Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.

Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.

Q:What do you call a White guy surrounded by five Black guys?
A:Coach

Q:What do you call a White guy surrounded by ten Black guys?
A:Quarterback

Q:What do you call a White guy surrounded by 300 Black guys?
A:Warden

Q: What's a similarity between women and rocks?
A: You skip the flat ones.

Q: Why is interrogating a Mexican like pool?
A: The harder you hit, the more English you get out of it.

Q: How do you stop a black person from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: What do you call a black man in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico ever do good in the olympics?
A: Because any of them who can run, jump or swim are already in the U.S.

Q: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Star Trek?
A: Because they wont work in the future either.

Q: What do you use to blindfold an Asian?
A: Dental floss.

Q: What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
A: The PGA tour.

Q: What does a Keebler elf and a white man have in common?
A: They both make crackers!

Q: What's black and blue and floats?
A: A white guy who told too many black jokes.

Q: How do black women fight crime?
A: By having an abortion.

Q: Why do white people go to black people'ss garage sales?
A: To get their stuff back.

Q: What do you call a white guy running track and field?
A: Second.

Q: What is the first thing a black guy sees when he parks his car?
A: Red and Blue lights.

Q: Why do black people not like to go on cruises?
A: They already fell for that trick once.

Q: What's red and crawls up your leg?
A: A homesick abortion.

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
A: Fo' Drizzle.

Q: What is black, has 4 legs, and goes ho dee doe?
A: Two black guys running for the elevator.

Q: What do 3 million abused women do wrong every year?
A: They don't fucking listen.

Q: What's the first thing a woman does after coming out of the abuse shelter?
A: Cook dinner if she knows what's good for her.

Q: What did the black kid get for Christmas?
A: My bike.

Q: What do you get when you cross a black person with an Octopus?
A: Who knows, but it sure can pick cotton.

Q: What's the difference between sand and abortion?
A: You cant drink sand.

Q: What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in a pile of leaves?
A: Raisin Brand.

Q: What's faster than a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with your VCR.

Q: Why are there more black people than Indians?
A: We haven't played Cowboys and Black people yet.

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.

Q: What's 11 + 46 + 14?
A: A threesome with Michael Jackson.

Q: What do you call a little mexican?
A: A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay.

Q: Why are aspirins white?
A: Because they work.

Q: Why is the world like a bag of jelly beans?
A: Because no one really likes the black ones.

Q: How do you get all the Ethiopians into a Phone Booth?
A: Throw in a can of beans

Q: How do you get them all back out again?
A: Run past them with the can opener!

Q: What's black up close and white far away?
A: A cotton field.

Q: What was the last thing that went through Kurt Cobain's mind when he shot himself?
A: The roof of his mouth.

Q: Whats red and blue and doesn't like sex very much?
A: A rape victim.

Q: How do you make a black guy wear a condom?
A: Put a Nike logo on it.

Q: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada?
A: They can't run that far.

Q: Why Do Black People Get So Tall?
A: Because they're Knee-grows!

Q: Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
A: He's black.

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

Q: What does Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
A: Their last great hit was the wall.

Q: When is the only time you wink and smile at a black person?
A: When you are looking down the sights of a rifle.

Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A: He didn't have any arms.

Q: What do you call a black person in a tool shed?
A: Out of date farming equipment.

Q: Why are all black people fast?
A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
A: It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.

Q: What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
A: Two more bullets.

Q: How do we know that Noah wasn't black?
A: He only took 2 chickens.

Q: How do Chinese parents name there kids?
A: They throw pots and pans against the wall.

Q: How do you stop a clown from laughing?
A: Hit him in the face with an axe.

Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide?
A: He got the gas bill.

Q: What do you call 3 mexicans, a Chinese guy, and 3 black men standing in a row on a lawn?
A: A water sprinkler, spick spick spick chink nigga nigga nigga

Q: What do you call 9 Mexicans standing in front of a house?
A: A spicket fence.

Q: What did the retarded apple say?
A: Meow.

Q: How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Want to ride a bike?

Q: What is positive about Africa?
A:l HIV.

Q: What's the difference between Batman and a Black man?
A: Batman can go into a store without robin!!

Q. What do you call a mexican vato thats fuckin your old lady?
A. Nacho , nacho pussy anymore.

Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
A: Christopher Walken

Q: Whats the most confusing day of the year for a black guy?
A: Father's Day

Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded

Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too.

Q: What do you call a black guy with a PHD?
A: A nigger.

Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A: They're hiring.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican with a Mormon?
A: A basement full of stolen groceries.

Q: Why doesn't Kurt Cobain ever drive?
A: Cause he'd rather just ride shotgun.

Q: What's sicker than a pile of dead babies?
A: The one alive in the middle chewing it's way out.

Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
A: Pick him up and suck on his cock!

Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It changes their blood type.

Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
A: About three inches.

Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impediment.

Q: How do you know if a black guy is well hung?
A: Make sure theres no space is in between the rope and his neck!

Q: Why is Snoop Dogg such a good sculptor?
A: Because he knows how to chizzle.

Q: What do women and condoms have in common?
A: If they aren't on your dick, they are in your wallet!

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Cause if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

Q. What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant.

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg always drink pop?
A: Because he likes the fizzle.

Q: How to you kill a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you kill a red elephant?
A: Choke it until it turns blue, then kill it with a blue elephant gun.

Q: What is a woman who is staring at a blank piece of paper doing?
A: Reading her rights.

Q:How did Helen Keller's Parents punish her?
A. Moved the furniture around
B. Left the toilette plunger in.

Q: What time does an ASIAN guy go to the dentist?
A: Tooth hurty.

Q: What did the black guy get on his SAT's?
A: Barbeque Sauce.

Q: How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A: Call her and tell her.

Q: What did the one tampon say to the other tampon?
A: Nothing, they're stuck up bitches.

Q: Who makes more money? A drug dealer or a prostitute?
A: A prostitue, she can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q: What do you call a female clown?
A: A Clunt.

Q: What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A: The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q: Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.

Q: Why don't women wear watches?
A: There's a clock on the stove.

Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A: "Is it in?"

Q: Why do black people wear pants so low?
A: Spell saggin backwards.

Q: Have you ever heard of a nigger fortune cookie?
A: It's a piece of cornbread with a foodstamp inside.

Q: Why Are crippled people always picked on?
A: Because they can't stand up for themselves

Q: Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Putting her back in the wheelchair when your done...

Q: What does a 9 volt battery and a girls asshole have in common?
A: You know it's wrong, but sooner or later your gonna put your tongue on it.

Q: How can you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.

Q: What would Martin Luther King be if he were white?
A: ALIVE!

Q: What do you call a dog in heat?
A: A hotdog.

Q: Why do midgets laugh when they run?
A: Because the grass tickles their nuts.

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Who cares. What's she doing out of the kitchen?

Q: What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely?
A: Half a cat.

Q: Who are the worlds fastest readers?
A: World Trade Center employees, some of them can go through 100 stories in a few seconds.

Q: When did Anakin Skywalker become evil?
A: In the sith grade!

Q: What do flamingos have in their front yards?
A: Plastic Mexicans.

Q: What is a crack head's favorite song?
A: I wanna rock!

Q: How come Mexico doesn't have a Navy?
A: Because card board doesn't float on water.

Q: What's the definition of worthless?
A: 7 ft tall black man who can't play basketball.

Q: How do you stop a clown from smiling?
A: Hit it in the face with an axe.

Q: What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
A: The New York Jets.

Q: Why does Virginia Tech suck at basketball?
A: They lost their best shooter.

Q: What's the difference between penis and bonus?
A: Your wife will ALWAYS blow your bonus.

Q: What's the difference between choice and choose?
A: Choice is when you have a decision to make, choose are what Mexicans wear on their feet.

Q: What does D.A.M stand for?
A: Mothers Against Dyslexia.

Q: What did the lion say after he ate the clown?
A: Hey... that tasted funny.

Q: What do you get when you mix puppies and rabbits?
A: Puppets.

Q: How do you kill 1000 Mexicans?
A: Blow up their van.

Q: Why can't an Asian couple have a caucasian baby?
A: Two wongs don't make a white.

Q: Whats black, white, red and cant turn in a phone booth?
A: A nun with a spear thru her head.

Q: How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?
A: Give the bitch a shovel.

Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia?
A: Sexy children.

Q. What do you call a black guy with a stutter?
A. Cocoon.

Q. Why do black people have flat noses?
A. That's where god put his foot before he ripped off their tail.

Q: How come black people and Mexicans don't have babies together?
A: They're afraid they'll be to lazy to steal.

Q: What is the cure for homosexuals?
A: Aids.

Q: What do 9 out of 10 people consider to be a good time?
A: Gang rape.

Q: What do Ethiopians do at night?
A: Starve.

Last Updated 2/17/08 (New ones will be added after posted)